oetegenn1976 Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 I haven't been on here for years, but having a really low time at the min. Just feel like everything is on my shoulders! And I have to act like I am strong, in front of my children if though i feel terrible inside. Been feeling like this since just after xmas, not one for xmas and new year but its the joyous month and so have to get on with the festivities. I usually like xmas but 8 years ago, I know in the passed.... I felt really I'll with a chest infection, thought i was going to die and ocd and depression got the best of me, so now everytime xmas comes, I feel scared of becoming like that again. And obviously I do cos I dwell on it, even though not as bad! But still feel crappy. Then January, hate new years eve, hate new year! Hate January, skint....dark, miserable days. Wish i didn't feel like this as new year, new start! Then I have 1001 things all on my mind from reducing my hours at work drastically from fulltime to lunchtime duty. All because I didn't get on with a girl at work and she made me feel ****. I feel paranoid, thinking colleagues talk about me, and I just feel not good enough for anything, reducing my hours is making me feel like I've let myself down and that money is now going to be an issue and I'm so scared. I've been waking up feeling anxious and my IBS is really playing havoc too. Just feeling fed up. I'm determined to get well again, I've got some D3 vits and B12 vits and also bought a SAD lamp on top of already taking 150mg of sertraline. So hopefully may feel better soon, and I've also asked my boss to refer me for counselling, but this wont be till February. I just feel like I needed to chat to someone. Really hate feeling like this, been really depressed before and really don't want to go down that spiral again. My OCD is playing up with my head, putting some really terrible thoughts in my head and I know I won't act on them, but way I'm feeling I'm scared. I know I'm probably reassurance seeking and its probably just stress with everything that's making it worse, but just need to get it out there x Thanks for reading and listening x Jo Link to comment
Irregular86 Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 (edited) As someone who has recently had a relapse and had to restart my meds I know how you feel. I literally don't have enough hours in the day to get things done and then at night I can't sleep for thoughts and worries. You have already sought help with regards to counselling and also with adding vitamins to your daily routine, hopefully you feel better soon. Try to remember those thoughts, no matter how terrible are just that, thoughts! Just take it a day at a time. Sending hugs Edited January 16, 2019 by Irregular86 Added more. Link to comment
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