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Hehe! :) Thanks, Paradoxer and Taurean. I just hope I can keep it up.

Something I've realised that is very important for me is that - whether due to depression, social anxiety or something else, I'm not sure - communication has been a big problem for me. What I hear isn't what people are actually saying, so the message gets lost.

Would it help others if I gave some examples?

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59 minutes ago, Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze said:

I seem to have lost the insight I had now and am back to square one. Feeling rather foolish. :(

Don't think of it as "back to square one" - falling down all the snakes without being able to climb onto a ladder. That approach is defeatist. 

Think of it more as a temporary blip, with normal service to be resumed again shortly. 

And those intrusions - well they are just "my silly obsessions"  - not to be believed, not to be thoughts with which you connect. 

This should halt the fall, enable you to grab the ladder, and climb back up to the gain line :)

 

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Thank you, I'll try. I should have known it wasn't going to be that easy! At least I know it is possible now. It made such a difference when I could think more clearly and see for myself where I was going wrong.

What I was going to say before about mishearing messages, is that I automatically read negativity into everything. I hear criticism and rejection when it isn't intended. The message I end up getting is "You're not trying hard enough", " You're a bad person", "Everyone is fed up with you", " You'll never be any good", etc.

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Insights are important and can help us make progress in our recovery.  Sometimes they are gradual, and sometimes they are like you'd describe, lightbulb moments where something just clicks!  It can be tempting to hope that such insights will solve our problems (as it can for some things in life) but unfortunately overcoming OCD is like getting in shape, it requires time and effort.  Don't stop looking for insights, they can definitely help, but be careful of resting your OCD hopes on suddenly having an "Aha!" moment and all your problems fading away.  That kind of mindset, while completely understandable, can lead to disappointments like the one you experienced.  
 

2 hours ago, Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze said:

I hear criticism and rejection when it isn't intended. The message I end up getting is "You're not trying hard enough", " You're a bad person", "Everyone is fed up with you", " You'll never be any good", etc.

Such self doubt is an unfortunately altogether too common problem in society, especially towards women.  The good news is that in addition to helping you overcome OCD, applying CBT techniques can also help you adjust your thinking when it comes to self worth and self doubt as well!  Hang in there, keep working to move forward, and remember that overcoming OCD is a marathon, not a sprint!  Steady progress and you'll finish the race!

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OCD is just one of a number of negative thinking patterns. 

And there are 15 codified types of negative cognitive thinking distortions. When I checked these out I found I had four of these coming out to play as well as OCD and needing a CBT approach to tackle them. 

One of the 15 is "diminishing the positive" so that looks like a match with you Lost. 

But don't despair. The way to deal with this is to take a detached view of your negative bias to everything. Challenge it. Look for a practical sensible more positive interpretation and go with that. 

I was very much a negative bias merchant :(

But by chipping away at that overwhelming negative bias I am a new - positive bias - individual. 

And what an enormous difference it makes to life's experiences. Issues which have flawed me before simply become stumbling blocks to tackle and overcome. For me, and the others who seek me out for advice. 

I am often to be found enjoying a flat white in my friends' cafe, where having a sympathetic ear means that others open up to me about their problems, and I share with them any pearls of wisdom that come to me. 

I find this such a joy, it's part of my personal motto "ab auxilio aliis",  which means "by helping others". 

Challenging negative thinking works - but it will take time to turn around that bias. 

I am an intellectual, sure - that has been my route in life - but I have no great mental powers ; if I can turn negative thinking bias around so can you Lost. 

Best wishes 

Roy 

Edited by taurean
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12 minutes ago, Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze said:

I have just looked up the 15 cognitive distortions. I recognise myself in 14 of them... :(

Remember, we all have some elements of these or we would be perfect - which of course no-one is. 

It's all about which ones we have to excess such that we need to tackle them. I had four to excess. 

The good news is you can identify these  in yourself, and see how these inhibit recovery in OCD - they and the OCD "gang up" on us and we feel swamped. 

Knowledge is power Lost  - chip away at the main cognitive  distortions affecting you, in a structured hierarchical way - as you would  OCD core beliefs in ERP as part of CBT for OCD. 

In due course you will be a new person :) 

 

 

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1 hour ago, Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze said:

That is true. Maybe me thinking I have most of them could be an (ironic) example of black and white thinking? That is definitely one I struggle with to excess. Along with catastrophising, personalisation and jumping to conclusions.

Reckon so Lost. My mother-in-law was a classic black and white thinker, but I pulled her out of it by helping her see things in a more positive light by just gently showing her a more positive interpretation. 

In due course this new positive take on things became more of a default, with less negative interpretation. 

Catastrophising plays right into the hands of OCD and can blow up literally in nanoseconds after an OCD intrusion, creating an ongoing circle of distress. So definitely one to tackle. 

Edited by taurean
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