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This has got out of hand , anyone please ?


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I do have OCD , and do take sertraline , recently just started CBT therapy . I have to check alot , like my hand break is up on my car , theres been times where i have to get up in the middle of the night to check i didnt leave it down ,. i worry about light switches on , gas stoves , car windows and locking it , doors , windows not locked . i could recheck these 5 times or more at times . 

The main Obession and Checking Problem !!!! 

I don't drink alcohol anymore but when i did , i would'nt get blackout drunk , it would be a tipsy state . On a night out when i did drink i would hug a girl i know and 10 minutes later i would get a thought pop into my head " did we just kiss " i would message the girl the next day and they'd always would say no you didn't . the  POINT  is this happens now even when im SOBER! on a night out , not even drinking a drop of alcohol ! i would hug a friend and kiss them on the cheek , and 10 minutes later id have a thought or a voice saying "did we just kiss on the lips ? " I dont message whoever the next day now because i know reassurence is bad for OCD and it makes it worse .

 this happens always when i get into a relationship , i love my girlfriend and adore her so much , is this a habbit i have gotten into  i hate this because its making me perform these saftey checks even on a SOBER  night out too ????? am i being to Protective !!!!?????? like all the checks ive said at the top ? , it seems like i care alot , for example light switches i think it could cause a fire and hurt someone , im so caring for my surroundings .

if anyone has experienced or has any advice please it would be so much help because im struggling , thanks ,will .

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why is  this  happening to me when im on a sober night out with friends though!!? is it because i checked so many time when i had a small amount of alcohol in my system ? 

what im asking is , is this a checking OCD problem ? 

it only happens when im in a club ? but has happened once in a public path way . 

 

Edited by WilliamBnixon
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6 hours ago, WilliamBnixon said:

I know but how can hugging a girl make a voice go in my head saying did we just kiss 10 mins later ? it just scares me . why does this always happen

It happens because you have OCD, unfortunately/fortunately its as simple as that.  We don't know why a specific OCD sufferer necessarily gets a specific anxiety, but the truth is we and you don't need to know WHY a particular thought gets stuck in your head, just that it does, and in order to deal with it you have to follow a different set of steps (CBT) than a non-OCD person.  Its challenging, but you need to work on accepting that WHAT you are worried about isn't particularly important, definitely not as important as the OCD makes you think it is.  Focus on the steps you need to take to recover, thats the way out.

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