On my last nerve. Help me understand Pure OCD

[stanwee lee]

I have had many common ocd themes in the past 30 odd years, sexual, harming etc.

I think for me to move on i need to learn more about Pure ocd . I have been better at times when it has not been so severe but i will never escape from it until i can accept that i have ocd as i find is very difficult to accept.

I understand that the initial thought that starts any of my obsession almost everyone can have the same thought and just let it be as it means nothing more than just a thought, i accept that, it is the next phase that gets me, the worrying about what it may means and carrying out all kinds of scenarios in my head and judging myself and checking my emotions, etc, just trying to make sense of things and i know sometimes i can find some temporary relief, which i have been told is the wrong thing to do.

In times when my OCD is milder i could often recall from memory just the very thing that i would use and the thought would pass on pretty quickly I have had many years of not getting too worked up and my  life   was so much better and happier.  I cant seem to do this any more and i am questioning  myself if the thoughts i used quite successfully  to give me this relief are actually true. Now i am unsure  if  it was actually the truth or not or if i was just trying to make excuses for myself to make me feel better about myself. I can't let it go and all my obsessions over the years are raising their ugly head again and i am analyzing in my head  the way i dealt with them was genuine or not.

To make matters worse, as of today i am not convinced any more that i actually have ocd  and i just used ocd as an excuse for my thoughts  as it made everything  convenient  ,that is the latest obsession that i am battling over.

How can i even begin to move on now  when i am even doubting  if i even have ocd ??

[PolarBear]

So you have OCD about OCD. Nothing unusual about that. Many people go through this. They all feel they are making excuses.

Chances are, nothing we say will convince you that this is OCD. We'll run around in circles with you and you will remain stuck. Better not to go down that road.

Take a leap of faith that this is the same old OCD, just under a new guise. You have intrusuve thoughts that cause distress and you do compulsions. That's all that is required for it to be OCD.

Take a leap of faith and begin treating this as OCD. You don't have to believe it is at rhis point. Just do the work.

[stanwee lee]

Thank you PolarBear as always to the point and very helpful, makes much more sense when someone points out the obvious, i guess i know i have ocd and it is ocd at work, that is what it does.