Wedding ocd

[PolarBear]

Exactly. So don't do anything. No cleaning. No replacing. Get on with your day.

[taurean]

So you have learned at last that replacing is pointless. 

Now Phil, take the next step. The need to feel like replacing them is pointless 

[Guest Phil10]

3 hours ago, taurean said:

So you have learned at last that replacing is pointless. 

Now Phil, take the next step. The need to feel like replacing them is pointless 

Yes this is the difficult part 

right now my urge is to take it back to the shop but I know that this cycle means I end up still not feeling satisfied that it’s clean. 

[taurean]

11 minutes ago, Phil10 said:

Yes this is the difficult part 

right now my urge is to take it back to the shop but I know that this cycle means I end up still not feeling satisfied that it’s clean. 

Exactly - it's OCD, it demands certainty, which you know you cannot have. 

So use this as exposure work, reminding yourself of that; and listen to what we say: the "contamination" is only in the mind of the sufferer. 

Just sit with it for a while, then formally end the ERP session and get yourself busy on something else. 

When you get back to the ERP, keep up this approach, sit with the anxiety - which over a few sessions should start to fade. 

Expect OCD to seek to hit hard during these sessions, but sit with it. It's only by staring it out in this way that it will gradually lose power and frequency. 

You can do this Phil. If I can - and I have no especial mental fortitude - then you, and others here, can. 

[Guest Phil10]

The issue is the fact I have the thought people say you can’t stop the thought I get that.

Howevever if you played a story out in your head how you would smell of urine on your wedding day and the shirts are spoiled how would you react I mean the thoughts are awful and off putting.

So when I have these thoughts my first course of action is to avoid the item I had the dirty contamination thought about. I feel I need more help with this. 

[taurean]

Another reason you may benefit from becoming a member of OCD - UK is that, posting something specific like that in the member's area, there would be focused replies from a smaller group of people and perhaps more time to devise an effective strategy. 

By seeking specialised help in the members area myself, two members took detailed time to work with me to resolve an OCD problem that had bugged me for years. 

Several others of my member friends have found their own enlightenment in this way. 

The bulletin board is a great free resource, but being open to all it can't provide that more focused approach from a small group of persons dedicated to the OCD-UK cause and that of fellow members. 

Edited March 8, 2019 by taurean

[dksea]

2 hours ago, Phil10 said:

So when I have these thoughts my first course of action is to avoid the item I had the dirty contamination thought about.

Ok, you've identified the problematic behavior, avoidance.  Instead you should do the opposite, you should not avoid the item.  For optimal results you should actively interact with the item. It will likely cause anxiety at first, but the anxiety can't harm you, and you will be teaching your brain that whatever the item is isn't worth worrying about, that the intrusive thought is just that, a thought, and you don't have to believe it.

[Guest Phil10]

Yes im not sure I would ever be happy with a shirt I worry even taking it back I would worry the new shirt was dirty.

Ive had passing thoughts like my whole house is contaminated and my toilet plunger and brush have been run ragged round the house and made everything dirty .

Like I say these thoughts serve no purpose they are pretty awful and seem real as I have them. Despite there being no facts the idea of these thoughts actually happen make me almost mistake it for reality like it was a real situation that happened 

[taurean]

5 minutes ago, Phil10 said:

Yes im not sure I would ever be happy with a shirt I worry even taking it back I would worry the new shirt was dirty.

Ive had passing thoughts like my whole house is contaminated and my toilet plunger and brush have been run ragged round the house and made everything dirty .

Like I say these thoughts serve no purpose they are pretty awful and seem real as I have them. Despite there being no facts the idea of these thoughts actually happen make me almost mistake it for reality like it was a real situation that happened 

So why don't we think like that Phil? 

Are we all reckless, or are we just sensible practical and manage any real - as opposed to OCD-created - threats? 

What is your fiancée's take on all of this? Doesn't that say something to you? 

 

Edited March 11, 2019 by taurean

[Guest Phil10]

22 minutes ago, taurean said:

So why don't we think like that Phil? 

Are we all reckless, or are we just sensible practical and manage any real - as opposed to OCD-created - threats? 

What is your fiancée's take on all of this? Doesn't that say something to you? 

 

She doesn’t help much with my ocd as she doesn’t get why I worry which isn’t ideal.

The problem is I have these irrational thoughts and turn them into facts as they appear as memories I read up on that before and seemingly others have confused memories. I had the everything contaminated thought before when I went outside with shoes that dirty laundry fell on.

Despite the negative I did have an issue where at work a rubbish bag landed near my shoe and I opted to not replace the shoe despite a whole battle going on in my head. I also had the thought I peed myself the other day and came home and never showered. 

But for every win there seems to be more ocd sometimes even more irrational like the whole house being dirty to trouble me

[taurean]

Believe me Phil, the more you stand up to these irrational fears, the more you will approach a gain line. When you pass over the gain line, then you will be gaining ascendancy and the intrusions will lose power and frequency. 

[Guest Phil10]

Months later I am still annoyed about this ex footballer not coming I fear I may never get over it. I had this amazing idea and played it out in my head and in the end I cancelled it. I also wanted a saxophonist at the wedding and that’s not happened.

I just feel so annoyed that I never got the ex footballer. I am now considering doing it for a special birthday in another ten years.

[dksea]

@Phil10 This is another example of using the forums as an OCD diary, its a compulsion and you need to recognize that.