Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
Bodge

Please help....its returned

Recommended Posts

Hi all....I've been really good at tackling my OCD recently BUT just had a major setback. To tell u all briefly....I'm worried that when I kissed someone 'what if' there was blood on my gums I didn't know was there and it went into their mouth when we kissed....what if I gave them AIDS. I don't have it...I've never had unprotected sex, never done drugs or anything....but scared I might have as I pricked my finger on some bushes last year and also when clearing up glass at the other week at the pub where I work (looked every there for a needle at pub but couldn't see anything so think it was glass)..but what if there was a needle I couldn't see. So I went for a hiv test the other week and results aren't back...they said it could take up to 2 weeks and it's only been 10 days but I'm getting panicky....how do I get through the next few days waiting for the results...the longer it takes the more anxious I'm getting. Is this OCD...how do I cope in the short term...feeling so scared. Xxx

Edited by Bodge

Share this post


Link to post

Getting tested for HIV was a HUGE compulsion. You should not have done that. You had no reason to do that. Yes, your OCD mind told you that you that it was all an emergency and you needed to act fast, but that, as always, was a lie. It's always a lie with OCD. It never tells the truth.

Now you can't go back. You can move forward, however. What other compulsions are you doing that you could stop? Are you Googling about needles and blood and HIV? If so, stop. Are you sitting there ruminating about this constantly? If so, do your best to curb that compulsion.

Share this post


Link to post

Thank you for your reply Polar Bear. I have been googling to see if it makes me feel better but you are right...I need to stop. I am definitely ruminating waiting for my results...I feel like my life is on hold until the results come in. I used to think worrying about something where I can't check it (like worrying someone else has AIDS) was harder as with myself I can check it out and know it's safe.....but getting the test myself has made it all worse...lesson learned! Any tips on how to get through the next few days until results come in?? Then I can work on dealing with the thoughts how I'm meant to...stopping compulsions. Thanks again x

Share this post


Link to post

Hi Bodge,

Yes the testing always makes things worse. ocd is so tricky--makes you think that doing this or that compulsion will make you feel better and it only adds to the doubt and uncertainty esp in the long term...

I would imagine that the next few days would be best spent in trying to just go on with your days. Try not to focus on stopping the anxious thoughts, as that is pretty much impossible. Try to be ok with letting the anxious/uncertain thoughts be there and just move on with your day as normal. go to work, go on a walk, do your hobbies...and let the anxiety be there--this will be good practice for the next time you get an urge to do a compulsion...I think that is one of the biggest skills we need to learn--how to let the anxiety and uncertainty just be there without doing compulsions to ease it.

This is also what I am working on doing!

Share this post


Link to post

Hi all.....I can't believe it...I've had another situation where I'm worried I've caught hiv. To reiterate....I have never had unprotected sex and never done drugs. I keep telling myself the truth that it doesn't live long outside of the body and no one else seems to think it's a problem. How do I manage this without getting reassurance from a health professional again... I know it's irrational but I'm still desperate to feel better....but I've been to the clinic a few times in the past year about different scenarios...they always say it's ok and I think they will begin to get fed up with me! Can anyone help x

Share this post


Link to post

Everyone gets nervous waiting for results. 

You should have asked for the quick test it’s only 20 minute wait.  

Its just a cultural thing. HIV ocd if from 90’s. It’s one of the new ones & lots of people live fine with it. I never understood why it’s hiv when there are lots of other blood borne diseases. 

Share this post


Link to post

Thank you for your reply Handy....sorry I've confused things as I've commented on one of my old posts. I had the test in Feb and it came back negative...but have had another situation where I'm worried I've caught something :(

Share this post


Link to post
17 hours ago, Bodge said:

Hi all.....I can't believe it...I've had another situation where I'm worried I've caught hiv. To reiterate....I have never had unprotected sex and never done drugs. I keep telling myself the truth that it doesn't live long outside of the body and no one else seems to think it's a problem. How do I manage this without getting reassurance from a health professional again... I know it's irrational but I'm still desperate to feel better....but I've been to the clinic a few times in the past year about different scenarios...they always say it's ok and I think they will begin to get fed up with me! Can anyone help x

Can anyone help me...so scared :(

Share this post


Link to post

 Bodge, 

You state you have not had unprotected sex or used drugs so use the facts. What evidence do you have that you have contracted anything? OCD is playing tricks on you and it will continue to do so until you challenge it. I know you are scared but it’s OCD making you feel that way not anything else.

Share this post


Link to post
1 hour ago, Flower girl said:

 Bodge, 

You state you have not had unprotected sex or used drugs so use the facts. What evidence do you have that you have contracted anything? OCD is playing tricks on you and it will continue to do so until you challenge it. I know you are scared but it’s OCD making you feel that way not anything else.

A doctor wouldn’t do the tests if they were not necessary. 

Share this post


Link to post
7 hours ago, Handy said:

A doctor wouldn’t do the tests if they were not necessary. 

I think the doctor did tests to put my mind at rest bit said it wasn't really needed.....I had a very understanding doctor!

Share this post


Link to post
8 hours ago, Handy said:

A doctor wouldn’t do the tests if they were not necessary. 

This is really unhelpful and just feeding Bodge’s anxiety. Distract yourself through the horrible feelings and wait for it to pass Bodge, as I said go back to the facts we don’t contract things the way your brain is wanting you to think or we would almost all be infected. You need reassurance because you have OCD not for any other reason.

Share this post


Link to post
3 hours ago, Flower girl said:

 

11 hours ago, Handy said:

A doctor wouldn’t do the tests if they were not necessary. 

This is really unhelpful and just feeding Bodge’s anxiety. 

 

Completely agree. I’ve had several 100% unnecessary tests over the years from very kind doctors trying to reassure me and with them not knowing or ignoring the fact that reassurance is not the way with OCD. 

Edited by Emsie

Share this post


Link to post
2 hours ago, Emsie said:

Completely agree. I’ve had several 100% unnecessary tests over the years from very kind doctors trying to reassure me and with them not knowing or ignoring the fact that reassurance is not the way with OCD. 

Yes me too! 

Share this post


Link to post

These tests do provide relief...and I've had about 3 hiv tests in the past 3 years...trouble is there is always another way I feel I have been infected after a few months so the relief is short lived. I know this is why I need to fight it this time and not get tested....it's just hard not getting that instant relief x

Share this post


Link to post
3 hours ago, Bodge said:

I know this is why I need to fight it this time and not get tested.

It's so good that you know this. X

Share this post


Link to post
18 hours ago, PolarBear said:

Of course it's hard. But over time it does get easier.

Thank you all x Polar Bear....if I don't get a proper test or confirmation from a doctor that I couldn't have caught it the way I'm scared of (I haven't had sex or done drugs) do you think I'll manage to get over it?? It worried me too as I want to give blood and that's a good thing to do but don't want to worry I've passed something on :(

Share this post


Link to post
On 11/08/2019 at 02:31, Flower girl said:

This is really unhelpful and just feeding Bodge’s anxiety. Distract yourself through the horrible feelings and wait for it to pass Bodge, as I said go back to the facts we don’t contract things the way your brain is wanting you to think or we would almost all be infected. You need reassurance because you have OCD not for any other reason.

Doctors are not supposed to do tests that are unnecessary. If the patient keeps pushing the doctor to do the tests they may do them for reassurance. However as you very well know, reassurance is counterproductive for OCD. Therefore by giving the test the doctor was making the ocd stronger. Have you ever been to a doctor & they said there is no reason to do the test you don’t have any chance of having HIV? I have. 

Share this post


Link to post

Yes , I have had tests done where they say it's just for my reassurance.....probably not the best thing to do in the long run...although the reassurance is nice...but maybe that's why I'm still struggling now with new ways I think I've been infected 😒

Share this post


Link to post

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...