Constantly-Repeating Intrusive Thoughts

[taurean]

It's been another very busy week in Paradise for my wife and me

And although yesterday was busy and pretty successful I haven't, though nicely rested, slept that much

So, being awake, I thought I would write a topic about this element of my own OCD that kept me stuck in episodes until it dissipated of its own accord - often after days, or sometimes weeks 

For me this is the epitomy of Jeffrey Schwartz's "Brainlock", of the book of the same name; my OCD would scan for harm, violent, triggers and when it found them, lock onto them with a constantly-repeating phrase or saying - might be a headline, book or film title connected to this theme, or a set of words imprinted on my brain. 

Round and round they would churn constantly in my brain, rarely stopping even for a very involved distraction, or sleep. 

Irrespective of any dedicated intent in working CBT including ERP, the episode would not shut down until the repeating thoughts stopped. 

Plus there was the real cold fear that I would mouth the intrusions - someone would hear me say them, perhaps my secretary when I was dictating letters or memos. 

For years I sought help with this. The book Brainlock was the first place I found a sensible explanation for why this occurred. But the techniques in that, on top of CBT (The Four Steps) didn't help me switch off the repeat button. 

A real ray of hope came with the young lady therapist I was teamed with in the London practice recommended to me by Ashley, who is acquainted with one of the directors. I spoke to Ashley's contact, she teamed me up with her colleague, and she taught me mindfulness-based CBT for OCD. 

I started learning how to use the mindfulness element to switch out of the part of our brains where we do all the obsessing and compulsing in OCD. 

Making this transition proved difficult and, sharing those difficulties with good friends in the members' area of the forum, we worked out how to do this and how I could link it in with Jeffrey Schwartz's Four Steps method from "Brainlock". 

Added to the mix was reframing the bad feelings I had towards myself for having these thoughts. This we did through love kindness meditation. 

Eureka The combination of CBT plus Four Steps plus mindfulness plus love kindness meditation provided the key for me to shift out of that loop of repeating thoughts. 

Within a day of doing that, my episode of OCD would simply shut down, and normality return. 

I am taking this opportunity to tell this story once more, for the benefit of those who haven't previously heard it. 

If we are determined to find a victory then we may well find it. 

CBT is the gold standard therapy for OCD and I think for a vast majority of us who apply it religiously it will do the business. 

But if something else is needed, seek it out from the pool of knowledge to be found here. 

For Jeffrey Schwartz's "disciples" , of which I am definitely one, The Four Steps may need to be added to the mix. 

For me, I also needed mindfulness and love kindness meditation. 

I never gave up - and this wonderful charity, its CEO, volunteers and members, helped me find the answer. 

So it's no real surprise to find me, in retirement, spending time on the boards here looking to help others find their lightbulb moments. 

Usually CBT alone will do the job if the sufferer does the work. But sometimes something else may be missing. 

It may simply be walking the dog, reframing, going for a swim or gym, that helps shake us out of a pattern of obsessing and carrying out compulsions,when CBT alone proves not enough. 

It could be overcoming shyness with others, forming a relationship, new outward-looking hobbies. 

But the fellowship of the charity and forum just might work its magic as it did for me. 

I am feeling sleepy now, night night all. Time to catch a couple of hours snooze before breakfast . 

Roy 

 

 

[leif]

Lovely post Roy.

I enjoyed reading your journey through the process.

I agree with you that we may need more than just cbt to address our issues fully. The cbt is great for the ocd but there are often other elements in our lives that need addressing to help us more fully out of our habitual ocd patterns.  Yes--seeking connections with people or animals or nature can be helpful. or exercising, or whatever hobby or passion that can help us live our lives more fully.

Community has been hugely important in my journey, finding kind and understanding people to help me through the journey...and yes getting into nature, going on walks, playing music, volunteering...

we need to be ready to fill those hours once spent on performing compulsions!

 

[Avo]

Great post Roy - I know I and others appreciate the time and wisdom you share with us on these boards. 

[taurean]

Thank you Avo. 

I try to give real examples of how psychological techniques can be used successfully, if we believe in what we are told and carry out the tasks. 

It's frustrating to see people join the boards that one thinks can get so much of their life and happiness back if they can swallow the pill of belief in what we are telling them, and commit to making the necessary thinking and behavioural changes. 

But we will keep working away - everyone that does improve makes the effort so very worthwhile.