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Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze

Borderline Personality Disorder

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I feel like there's a good chance I could have this, but I'm also doubting. I don't know if it is my OCD making me think I have BPD or my OCD making me doubt that I could have BPD. I am obsessing about it, but then I also obsess about my rotten teeth and that doesn't make them any less rotten, if you see what I mean.

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Obsessing followed by compulsive behaviour like researching - and with doubt it might be OCD - all point to OCD.

Those  of us with OCD may of course have other negative thinking disorders as well, and often are worriers in general and likely to form a negative bias preconception of things.

I used to worry about all sorts of things - I used a self-help book called "How To Stop Worrying & Start Living" by american Dale Carnegie to work on, and eliminate, this tendency to unnatural worry from my life. 

The compulsion of rumination is, in OCD,  a form of compulsive response connected to obsessive thinking. 

 

 

Edited by taurean

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I f you think you have borderline personality disorder, do go and discuss this with your GP. It's a matter for a medical professional to consider, and they can also consider a potential diagnosis for OCD, if you don't already have that considered for diagnosis.   

Edited by taurean

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Thanks Taurean and Orwell.

I do have a diagnosis of OCD. (Diagnosed at 13.) There is definitely OCD involved here, as I know I am obsessing about it and performing compulsions like ruminating and Googling. However I also do the same periodically about my teeth and other physical problems which aren't just in my head.

I do feel there is something going on besides my OCD, and that that is affecting my recovery (or lack of!). I can relate to a lot of what I read about BPD.

I think I will talk to a doctor about it when I can and try to put it to the back of my mind till then.

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7 hours ago, Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze said:

performing compulsions like ruminating and Googling.

Ok, now that you are aware of these compulsions, what steps are you taking to stop doing them?

 

7 hours ago, Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze said:

However I also do the same periodically about my teeth and other physical problems which aren't just in my head.

A common mistake many OCD sufferers fall for is the belief that OCD only affects imaginary threats, or things that are just in our head, that we don't get OCD about "real" things.  OCD isn't just about things that are extremely unlikely/impossible, it can be about things that really do happen.  You can have OCD about real health problems, like heart attacks, or cancer, or even real physical problems you are facing.  The defining characteristics have nothing to do with the nature of the fear, but about our reaction to it.  

For example, take a person who has a chronic physical condition like asthma.  That asthma is real, you can do medical tests on the person to show that they do, in fact, have asthma.  That person could also have OCD, and they could have intrusive thoughts about their very real asthma because of that.  "Am I about to have an asthma attack?"  "What if I have an attack and can't find my inhaler?", "What if my attack is so severe the inhaler doesn't work" are just a few examples of possible intrusive thoughts.  In turn the person might develop compulsions related to those fears, checking their medication, checking their body for physical symptoms, researching asthma and asthma attacks online, etc.  A real problem AND a real OCD exaggeration of the problem.  Its not surprising that you, as an OCD sufferer, engage in compulsive behavior about a number of issues, in fact it rather reinforces that this issue IS OCD because of your tendency to ruminate and research.

 

7 hours ago, Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze said:

I do feel there is something going on besides my OCD, and that that is affecting my recovery (or lack of!). I can relate to a lot of what I read about BPD.

I think I will talk to a doctor about it when I can and try to put it to the back of my mind till then.

Thats certainly possible, and as Taurean said, its worth discussing with your doctor, but you should be open to the possibility that this is all just the OCD causing you to feel doubt, and that the speed of your recovery is merely a factor of individual circumstance, and how much work you are able to put in to recovery at this time.

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Can it still be OCD if I'm not afraid of having BPD? I'm not trying to prove to myself that I don't have it, I'm actually trying to prove that I do. I want to have it, because it would explain why I am the way I am.

Thinking about it, there is a fear. The fear is of being wrong.

Edited by Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze

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If I'm honest, what tends to happen is, I obsess about a problem for a while, then before I actually get around to doing anything about it I've moved on to obsessing about another problem. I now have a lot of problems to choose from...

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4 hours ago, Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze said:

Can it still be OCD if I'm not afraid of having BPD? I'm not trying to prove to myself that I don't have it, I'm actually trying to prove that I do. I want to have it, because it would explain why I am the way I am.

Where OCD might come in to play would be frequently researching and trying to find answers to the anxiety you are having.  BPD in this case would be the possible answer, rather than the anxiety.

Whether or not you have BPD is a question best left to your doctor. It would certainly possible to have both BPD and OCD.

But its also possible that you just have OCD, you are struggling with doubt, looking for "answers" and BPD is just the latest possible answer you think you have found rather than just accept and work on the OCD.

I'm not suggesting either is a more or less likely possibility, there is way more information that a mental health professional would need to know and consider before coming up with an actual diagnosis, and while many of us here are very familiar with OCD, my guess is most of us aren't familiar with BPD or its symptoms.  Hopefully you can speak with your doctor soon and discuss this to move forward one way or the other.

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Hello, as you know this happened to me. I was led to believe it was just my OCD making me think I had BPD. 2 years later I was diagnosed with BPD... so it can happen.

But yes, you need someone to confirm it. Not usually a doctor, you’d have to be referred to someone, but you’d start with a doctor. 

It’s odd that on BPD forums we’re told not to self-diagnose and that no one there can diagnose with us. Yet with OCD, people post here wondering if they have OCD and people tell them they do (while of course still pointing out that they should see a doctor for a diagnosis). I guess it’s because, whilst both serious and debilitating disorders, OCD is simpler in terms of symptoms whereas BPD traits are more in number and more difficult to interpret.

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Though of course, as in your case, there can be comorbidity, as you point out, they're two very different disorders.  

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It is completely possible to have comorbid conditions with OCD. It doesn't sound like you are obsessively fearing having another condition. If you are concerned that something else is going on then do ask for a referral to the Psychiatrist at your local CMHT.

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Also just thought to say that I also identify with some of the BPD symptoms but that in my case this is best explained by my inattentive ADHD (emotional lability and outbursts etc.) and that nearly everyone will have one or two symptoms of it but that if your symptoms are interfering with your life then you should see a Psychiatrist.

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On 12/02/2019 at 04:47, Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze said:

I feel like there's a good chance I could have this, but I'm also doubting. I don't know if it is my OCD making me think I have BPD or my OCD making me doubt that I could have BPD. I am obsessing about it, but then I also obsess about my rotten teeth and that doesn't make them any less rotten, if you see what I mean.

This might be a helpful article below. It could be helpful to read this if you think you have a comorbid condition  that the OCD diagnosis does not account for. 

OCD and aspergers are comorbid and yet aspergers is misdiagnosed as BPD in a lot of cases. There are a lot of similar traits and a lot of differences. It's just an interesting read and shines a light on BPD and Asperger's syndrome. 

https://thesilentwaveblog.wordpress.com/2017/03/05/aspergers-autism-vs-borderline-personality-disorder-bpd/

 

Edited by Orwell1984

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Thank you everyone for your replies. They are helpful.

BelAnna and Orwell, I did actually think for a while that I might have ADHD or an autism spectrum disorder because I can relate to that too. I have wavered between ASD and BPD, but on balance I think BPD probably fits better. I know it is possible to have both. I don't know! I guess there is a lot of symptom overlap and that's why it's a good idea to have a psychiatrist do the diagnosing...

Kaheath, I keep thinking what if my OCD is making me think that what happened with you is also happening with me and I'm just 'copying' you. I think I'd better not tell the doctors what I think I might have and just let them work it out, as I'll be doubting and thinking I've manipulated them into diagnosing me!

P.S. I have read the article and still cannot decide. There are elements of both.

Edited by Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze

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I’d be flattered if you were copying me! :;

Seriously though, lots of mental disorders have elements in common and really only someone qualified can diagnose them. I know you’re not in a position to see a professional at the moment, so probably the best advice is to let it go for now. Hard, I know. I’ve been there! Plenty of people on BPD forums diagnose themselves and that’s enough. For people like us, I think the professional diagnosis is important.

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I have now come back to thinking I am on the autism spectrum. I can relate to so many of the difficulties described by those on the spectrum, including sensory processing and communication. I have always been 'different', even as a baby.

I don't know if I could also have BPD, or if the problems I can relate to are better explained by autism.

I do have a cousin with learning difficulties , and also suspect at least one of my parents may be on the spectrum too.

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Some people thinks that BPD in woman are missed and mistaken for BPD. But I obviously have no idea about you personally.

The psychologycommunity 

Edited by OCDhavenobrain

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Good point of not being afraid of BPD. OCD is an anxiety disorder where thoughts are intrusive. Unwelcome. Your searching for information is not to push away your fear or worry about BPD but reaching out for evidence to confirm a BPD diagnosis. All my obsessions and intrusive thought are about things that I do not want to happen.

But why are you searching for additional diagnoses. What is the payoff for a diagnosis of BPD? Or any further diagnoses? I will not lead you by proposing the pros and indeed some cons of a number of diagnoses. 

If you are not searching for OCD reasons then why are you searching?

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1 hour ago, OCDhavenobrain said:

Some people thinks that BPD in woman are missed and mistaken for BPD. But I obviously have no idea about you personally.

The psychologycommunity 

Thank you, yes I'd heard that female autism is often misdiagnosed as BPD too. That could perhaps explain my confusion.

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20 minutes ago, Angst said:

Good point of not being afraid of BPD. OCD is an anxiety disorder where thoughts are intrusive. Unwelcome. Your searching for information is not to push away your fear or worry about BPD but reaching out for evidence to confirm a BPD diagnosis. All my obsessions and intrusive thought are about things that I do not want to happen.

But why are you searching for additional diagnoses. What is the payoff for a diagnosis of BPD? Or any further diagnoses? I will not lead you by proposing the pros and indeed some cons of a number of diagnoses. 

If you are not searching for OCD reasons then why are you searching?

Good question. I suppose I have been searching because I feel that there is more to my difficulties than OCD alone accounts for. A diagnosis of whatever that is would explain why I am the way I am.

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A psychiatric conference ending today puts ‘personality disorder’ into inverted commas. This punctuation reflects the highly contested nature of ‘personality disorders’. (I read about in the press and then went to the conference’s site.) One small part of the contesting is mentioned in OCDhavenobrain’s post.

In the same way the explanation of thoughts and behaviour by applying the category of OCD to ourselves can be of assistance in finding a remedy so to it might apply to other conditions. But I would go slowly and mull over the evidence. The key as always is finding the knowledgeable and kind medical, psychiatric or psychotherapeutic expert who can guide us.

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