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Hi everyone, I just want to put this down in words really and I guess vent. 

I’ve had a terrible few days and not great weeks really. My main obsessions surround my health at the moment and it spills in to my daughters health too. The latest one surrounded my daughter and I can look back and see where I could have stopped it in its tracks, but I didn’t and one compulsion led to another and the whole situation escalated. Each compulsion made the worry and fears even worse and created new fears. If I hadn’t engaged it would have been a nothing. 

I just don’t see how I can change my thinking. I just think this is who I am. My OCD went in to remission during the first 18 months of her life, but since then it’s been relentless with multiple themes, not just health. This relapse will be for 2 years in May.

I just don’t see how I can change and how my thinking can change. I don’t really know what I’m trying to say really. I guess it just feels like it’s never going to go away. 

Thank you for reading. X

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Hey. I’m sorry for how you are you feeling and want you to know that you are not alone. I’m afraid I can’t offer too much in direct advice. I myself am struggling immensely at the moment but let me leave you with this thought. The books say and the experts say that the only way we can move forward through this is by directly facing the anxieties we have, accepting them as just thoughts and moving on, gently nudging those thoughts away. I know how easy it is to get caught up in a spiral of obsessive thinking. It’s awful and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. It’s good that you can come here and vent though - vent away I say. All you can do is the best you can do and while there are many people out there who can be so matter of fact and firm about it, please just note that I, we, and everyone else don’t want to see you suffer so be strong and try your best. I think it can get better. I hope so. Don’t lose hope. 

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Hi Emsie,

Sorry your struggling - on certain days things can just feel too much and OCD looks like it is just too much to face, however it is more than possible to get better - its not easy but it can be done. Take heart from the fact your OCD has been in remission previously and it can again. Can you go through your notes from your CBT previously - do you have any of the self help books recommended by OCD UK? just to try and give you a push in the right direction?

Did you make a decision over that online CBT course -with the Irish lady - sorry can't remember her name. ! .  sorry a lot of questions there. 

 

 

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6 hours ago, BigDave said:

Hey. I’m sorry for how you are you feeling and want you to know that you are not alone. I’m afraid I can’t offer too much in direct advice. I myself am struggling immensely at the moment but let me leave you with this thought. The books say and the experts say that the only way we can move forward through this is by directly facing the anxieties we have, accepting them as just thoughts and moving on, gently nudging those thoughts away. I know how easy it is to get caught up in a spiral of obsessive thinking. It’s awful and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. It’s good that you can come here and vent though - vent away I say. All you can do is the best you can do and while there are many people out there who can be so matter of fact and firm about it, please just note that I, we, and everyone else don’t want to see you suffer so be strong and try your best. I think it can get better. I hope so. Don’t lose hope. 

Hi Dave, thank you so much for your reply. It means a lot. Your words are spot on. I guess my main problem like most of us is working out what’s a real worry and OCD. When the alarm goes off with the anxiety it’s so easy to be fooled that it’s real. None of my worries/fears turn out to be real so that should tell me something. I’ve got to start recognising the intrusive thoughts and feelings and then do as you described. I know I don’t work hard enough and I give in too easily. I must resist the compulsive urges. It’s my behaviourial responses that get me as they always make my fears worse. 

I’m sorry for how you are feeling too and that you’re struggling so much. I hope you can make some small victories and slowly build on them. As you said to me, you are not alone. 

6 hours ago, BigDave said:

PS, I’m hoping the above isn’t the cheesiest thing you have read today. It’s difficult trying to judge the line between motivational + helpful and “oh my God David please stop talking!”   

Bless you, not at all, it was perfect and I really appreciate all your words. 

Thank you, Dave. X

Edited by Emsie
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3 hours ago, Avo said:

Hi Emsie,

Sorry your struggling - on certain days things can just feel too much and OCD looks like it is just too much to face, however it is more than possible to get better - its not easy but it can be done. Take heart from the fact your OCD has been in remission previously and it can again. Can you go through your notes from your CBT previously - do you have any of the self help books recommended by OCD UK? just to try and give you a push in the right direction?

Did you make a decision over that online CBT course -with the Irish lady - sorry can't remember her name. ! .  sorry a lot of questions there. 

 

 

Hi Avo, thank you so much for your reply and all that you said. It means a lot.

I guess when you’re feeling low you feel a loss of hope. I do think I need to work much harder and I give in too easily. 

Thank you for giving me a push in the right direction. I need to go back to basics and yes, I’ve got Break Free from OCD, so I should use that. I need to write down my own blueprint of what works for me. 

Thank you for asking, I am going to try the online course I think, but I need to wait until I can afford it. 

Thank you for everything Avo and I hope you’re doing well. X

 

Edited by Emsie
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1 hour ago, Emsie said:

Hi Avo, thank you so much for your reply and all that you said. It means a lot.

I guess when you’re feeling low you feel a loss of hope. I do think I need to work much harder and I give in too easily. 

Thank you for giving me a push in the right direction. I need to go back to basics and yes, I’ve got Break Free from OCD, so I should use that. I need to write down my own blueprint of what works for me. 

Thank you for asking, I am going to try the online course I think, but I need to wait until I can afford it. 

Thank you for everything Avo and I hope you’re doing well. X

 

An online course sounds good. Where would one find that? :)

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Hi Emsie,

I am ok thanks, muddling along  juggling life's various challenges as best I can. 

I hope you can get some joy from  break free from OCD, its a highly rated book and I know many people have found it very helpful.

Hope things can turn around for you, it is possible to make progress on tackling OCD if you trust in the process and stick with it. :)

Avo 

 

Edited by Avo
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35 minutes ago, BigDave said:

An online course sounds good. Where would one find that? :)

Hi Dave, I started a thread about a particular online course a short while ago, here's the link:

It comes with a cost and I can't recommend it I'm afraid as I haven't tried it yet. X

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36 minutes ago, Avo said:

Hi Emsie,

I am ok thanks, muddling along  juggling life's various challenges as best I can. 

I hope you can get some joy from  break free from OCD, its a highly rated book and I know many people have found it very helpful.

Hope things can turn around for you, it is possible to make progress on tackling OCD if you trust in the process and stick with it. :)

Avo 

 

Hi Avo, 

I'm glad you're ok, and I hope there are less challenges for you soon. 

Thank you, I've only read part of break free, so I should start it again and give it another go.

I think the last thing you said is key about trusting the process and sticking with it. It's the sticking with it that fluctuates for me and where I fall down. Thank you. X

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