Jump to content

Don't want to do exposures because I'll soon be home alone with my mom


Recommended Posts

So, for some reason, when I do exposures (making things contaminated), my groinal responses really increase. My dad is ill and will be going into the hospital for ~4 weeks, maybe more or less, but I want to stop exposures. My worst intrusive thought is sexually assaulting my mom, and the fact that my dad has been around kind of acts as reassurance, like he would be able to stop me. Of course I don't think I'm actually going to do this and it's just OCD.

But I want to hold off on exposures because this will increase my groinal responses around my mom which is terrifying. On the other hand, I want to start doing exposures because I want to live my life. I guess the fact that I'm home alone with my mom is actually a good exposure? I shouldn't avoid sitting up on the couch and watching a movie or whatever, which is probably what I would do. Or not go upstairs at all.

Link to comment

It will be a good exposure. Maybe explain to your Mum that you're struggling (possibly as a result of all this stress with your Dad?) and things might seem a bit strange for you. Don't feel alone; it's good to reach out for support and help and you're doing a good thing here.

 

C x

Link to comment

Here we are again Ryukil.

Opening up a post on this, and probably other, forums when you know what we are going to say aka that avoidance, instead of taking on the ERP, will never help to overcome OCD. 

 

 

Link to comment
18 hours ago, Ryukil said:

I want to live my life

This needs to be the overriding focus you keep at the forefront of your mind.   If you can, then any urges to take easy excuses not to challenge your OCD should hopefully be superseded by this over-riding desire.

 

Link to comment

Yes, I know. I don't even know what I was looking for by posting this. Reassurance, I guess? A strategy to ignore the groinal responses, or reassure me so that the obsession is gone and they don't come up as much? 

I say to myself "Well, who cares if you put off recovery another 4 weeks" but that's obviously the wrong attitude to have. It's possible that I could be doing exposures for 1 week and this whole obsession goes away as I realize it's not as bad as I thought and I could actually deal with it.

Link to comment

That's it. 

I used to be indecisive - now I just can't make up my mind :biggrin:

That's what is going on Ryukil. You agonise over things others would assess then simply implement the best solution. 

Remember how your therapist wanted you to agree with the thoughts? And you didn't agree? 

But when I had a similar experience with my therapist, I told him I was sure it was the wrong approach for me and terminated the therapy with him. 

Decisive, and proved to be correct. 

I don't personally consider it the right approach to agree with harm thoughts. It's a methodology I don't care for. 

What sits better with me is the knowledge that in harm OCD the illness is targeting our true core values and suggesting we could act contrary to them. 

And following that line of cognitive knowledge has worked for me, because we go into ERP with an understanding of what the OCD is doing - and we re-attribute the intrusions to OCD not ourselves. 

Link to comment

Hi Ryukil,

First off, I hope your dad is going to be okay!

On 22/02/2019 at 22:10, Ryukil said:

But I want to hold off on exposures because this will increase my groinal responses around my mom which is terrifying.

 

This here is key. You are giving these groinal responses relevance and that is why they keep happening. Once you have learned that they are, in fact, not terrifying and are completely meaningless, they will start to disappear.

So in that sense, you shouldn't stop doing the exposures because this is a really good time to practice them.

In any case, being alone with your mum is good exposure too, as you say. Maybe you can really try on that front to be with her and stay up and do things while you're alone together, to show yourself that nothing will happen. 

Also, are you able to talk to your mum about this? It may be helpful to tell her that you're struggling so that you don't have to deal with it all alone.

Edited by malina
Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...