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freya196

Loneliness

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i could sit here and write for hours about how suicidal i am and plead for people to be my friend but what's the point. I've tried to be friends with so many people who genuinely couldn't care less no matter how hard i try. My heart breaks when i see friendships i don't have because i am so bloody lonely. I have never felt so isolated and depressed. 

I wish the friends i was close with would tell me why they don't talk to me as they did before or why i have to insinuate a conversation every single time. I haven't faced them outright and asked them what is going on why do i feel this way, i fear it's all in my head. I don't know what's worse.

I just don't know what to do? 

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Freya I am thinking of you and sorry to hear of your loneliness . I know the feeling well for me OCD tries to force me into isolating myself and then I wonder why I feel lonely . It also forces me to ruminate for hours and tries to stop me engaging in things which again makes me feel lonely . I am lying in bed at the moment trying to find the first steps of engaging with life today. Let’s take the first steps together . Please know you always have friends here online .

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Hi Freya, I am very sorry to hear you're feeling so rough. I can relate very much to this feeling of loneliness. It can be hard explaining OCD to others, and feel isolating even when they are understanding and supportive. I have a few friends I rarely get to see because they're getting on with their own lives while I feel like I'm sort of lagging behind, and who barely ever initiate contact with me themselves and I am always the one contacting them, which although is understandable as they have busy lives, can feel disheartening and I often feel really lonely too. However, I do know and trust that these people do care about me from their actions when they do see me, which reminds me that it can be hard to keep things or people in your mind when they're not currently with you, but that doesn't necessarily mean you don't care about them :) Keep going - you have a friend in me, should you wish it :hug:

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Yes loneliness and isolation are very tough and often do come with the disorder as we sometimes can't engage like we once did.

And I've found too, like Sputnik, that while most of my friends are moving on with their lives I'm in a different space.

Do you belong to any mental health groups? I've found that to be really good in finding others to connect with who are in a similar boat to me.

 

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I’m sorry you are feeling this way Freya. I would be lost without discussion radio like LBC or TalkRadio. In fact I leave the radio on day and night and can’t sleep without it. Most my friends are doing their own thing these days like having children. I like my own company and I think you should try and enjoy your own company too if you can.

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Hi Freya :),

I am sorry you are feeling so isolated and depressed Freya. This forum can help you feel less lonely.

I send you a big HUG :hug:

Edited by Andrea

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