Why am I having horrible images and thoughts

[oetegenn1976]

I think this is ocd or I hope it's ocd playing up.....but I'm having really disturbing images in my head of dead people! It's horrible I know I should distract myself.  But it's so difficult.

I'm terrified of death and dying, health anxiety etc, and I know I cannot live life like this as its inevitable.

As some of you know my brother in law died 3 weeks ago now, miss him dearly.  My sister has been visiting him whilst in the chapel of rest and said he looked amazing when she first saw him, but obviously it's 3 weeks now and she advised me not to see him cos of my ocd and that he has a veil cos his colour is changing and his fingers are beginning to go thinner.  Now my ocd is playing up, thinking of horrible images of the body decomposing etc.  Because they'vetold me these things.  I know it's a body and nothing last forever, but he's not a body he's my brother in law, and its hurting me thinking this way and having images like this.   Can anyone advise on how to get these thoughts from my head so I can move on and think about the happy health Chris and not horrid things like this.

[oetegenn1976]

Also because I've been in so much stress lately, my ocd is really bad.  I've been real bad with anxiety and worry. But yesterday and today I feel ok and I feel I am getting better slowly, although I feel like I'm always constantly on the scan for worries and anxieties and triggers, why does ocd do this?

[oetegenn1976]

Can anyone help or give advice? 

[Hal]

9 hours ago, oetegenn1976 said:

Can anyone advise on how to get these thoughts from my head so I can move on and think about the happy health Chris and not horrid things like this.

Nowhere near easy to do but don't try to get rid of the images...the more you respond to them the more you're sending the message they're important and the more they'll show up. Try letting them be and they should fade away as quickly as they cropped up.

I lost someone last year and even knowing it was going to happen and was the natural order of things it didn't prepare me for the shock and grief. You had no warning at all. The mind does some strange stuff at the best of times but when it comes to grief it goes to a whole other level. I think you really need to accept for the moment your mind is processing a huge amount and will take time to settle again... let it go at its own speed. You will remember your brother-in-law in a happy way again, but you've got to go through the messy grieving process to get there while also grappling with the disorder. That's hard by anyone's standards but I think all you can do is take it an hour at a time with grief combined with OCD.

[dksea]

Sorry you are dealing with this latest trouble on top of the stress and mourning you are going through.  When a topic is more present in our mind its very normal, though obviously in your situation distressing, to have more thoughts related to that topic.  As Hal mentions, the best way to get these thoughts out of your head is to try to not react to them as much when they do happen.  When a child is acting up, for example, its often a bad idea to acknowledge their behavior, it reinforces in them the idea that "if I do this, I will get attention".  Instead, you ignore them and they learn that acting up won't result in a desired outcome. The same with OCD, the less attention you give to these thoughts, the easier it will be for them to fade.   Its frustrating for sure, you want to make them just go away, but the only approach that works is the indirect approach.  Trying to force the thoughts to disappear just makes you think about them more.

[paradoxer]

'Horrible images and thoughts' are normal. Difference is - with OCD they get stuck. Try not too dislike them too much, it gives them power. Aim to shrug the proverbial shoulders, and disregard them.