Ocd, low mood, parent, depression?

[Coffeecake]

Hi all, 

I had a whopper of an intrusive thought and image the other week out of the blue, huge panic attack, self referred to the local mental health team (have assessment booked for end of March) and have an appt to see the gp this week. 

I've had my ocd under some sort of control for a while now, even at some points feeling I had recovered. (I felt "normal" for months at a time.) I've been doing a lot better since the panic attack recently and doing all the right things to deal with the thoughts. 

What I'm wondering now is if I may be depressed, or just very low and stressed. My child is two and a half, he's not a great sleeper, up very early in the morning, and for a little while has been out and out defiant (terrible twos??) to the point I've been in tears this morning. I'm so tired, I work part time too, and I have no resilience or strength to manage this behaviour in a way that feels helpful to either of us. I've asked my health visitor to come over for some advice. 

I don't know if my ocd event recently has triggered this low mood, if parenting a young child has caused it, if general life stress has caused it - I'm guessing all of the above. I feel at the moment that I'll be asking the gp for anti depressants this week just because I can't cope as a mum, and that going to see the gp and mental health team about ocd is a sham because the thoughts are not bothering me at the moment. 

Any experience of these feelings? 

Thanks all 

 

[leif]

6 hours ago, Coffeecake said:

I feel at the moment that I'll be asking the gp for anti depressants this week just because I can't cope as a mum, and that going to see the gp and mental health team about ocd is a sham because the thoughts are not bothering me at the moment. 

Sorry you're having a tough time...I'm not a parent and really sympathize with people trying to deal with work and parenting and ocd issues all at the same time! I can't imagine how hard that must be!

I'm not sure why you are wondering if seeing the gp and mental health team would be a sham...it sounds like whatever the  issue is--depression, ocd, a mix of that, it seems like a good idea to discuss with gp and mental health team to see how they can help. I would just tell them what you told us here and go from there...

Good for you for reaching out for help!

[Coffeecake]

I think you're right leif, I just needed to write it all down. 

[malina]

Hi Coffeecake,

I’m also not a parent but I imagine that having a little two year old can be pretty tough on anyone, without throwing OCD and depression into the mix! 

I’d say firstly be gentle with yourself and don’t panic. All of these feelings are tough but they are in some ways expected - you have a mental health problem, you’re under stress and you’re exhausted. No wonder you’re going to feel down and struggle with things!

also, you’re doing the right thing by getting help. This is the most important thing, we all struggle and fall sometimes but it’s taking the steps to fix this that really counts.

Stay strong, we all have your back here!

 

[dksea]

19 hours ago, Coffeecake said:

I don't know if my ocd event recently has triggered this low mood, if parenting a young child has caused it, if general life stress has caused it - I'm guessing all of the above. I feel at the moment that I'll be asking the gp for anti depressants this week just because I can't cope as a mum, and that going to see the gp and mental health team about ocd is a sham because the thoughts are not bothering me at the moment. 

OCD is a (unfortunately) a chronic condition and like many chronic conditions it can flare up and die down.  Just because you aren't suffering from it 24/7/365 doesn't mean its not affecting your life or that its a sham, far from it!  You had a significant problem with your OCD, including a panic attack.  Thats going to have lasting effects on your well being for awhile.    You absolutely deserve to be seen by the health team about this, your concerns are real, and your OCD isn't a sham!  It sounds like ou have some other things in your life causing stress at the moment, but that doesn't mean the OCD isn't also playing a part.  Unlike a controlled science experiment, in real life we can seldom isolate our problems completely.  It all comes together to either help or hurt us in how we manage life.  I second Leif's advice!  I also think writing it down can be helpful both here as you have done, and also for your doctor.  Often when we get in to our appointments we can lose track of all that we wanted to say.  Having it written down might help you better frame your thoughts.  Best of luck!

[Coffeecake]

Thank you all so much for your advice. I struggled to access the forum for a while so have only just caught up. I had my gp appt and mental health assessment on the same day because there was a cancellation. No meds, gp happy with where I am at the moment and positive that I've made the right steps for self care. Follow up next week to see how I'm doing.

Assessment was good, I opened up much more than I imagined and was offered counselling or cbt. Agreed with assessor that a particularly sticky real life event from my childhood is feeding into current fears and anxiety so decided counselling to resolve that issue then perhaps cbt if needed. Bit of a wait, but free and am looking after myself in the meantime. 

I've started a diary too which has so far proven a very interesting exercise! 

So far so good, bit of a way to go but I really want to get better and feel ready to do that, not just for me but my child too. He deserves a present mummy, not a zombie type mummy living in my head. 

Thanks again for getting back to me everyone x

[leif]

Great to hear Coffeecake! So glad that you had such a good and fruitful meeting with gp and mental health team!

Thanks for reporting back too--it's nice to hear people's continued progress  

 

[malina]

On 02/03/2019 at 11:45, Coffeecake said:

Thank you all so much for your advice. I struggled to access the forum for a while so have only just caught up. I had my gp appt and mental health assessment on the same day because there was a cancellation. No meds, gp happy with where I am at the moment and positive that I've made the right steps for self care. Follow up next week to see how I'm doing.

Assessment was good, I opened up much more than I imagined and was offered counselling or cbt. Agreed with assessor that a particularly sticky real life event from my childhood is feeding into current fears and anxiety so decided counselling to resolve that issue then perhaps cbt if needed. Bit of a wait, but free and am looking after myself in the meantime. 

I've started a diary too which has so far proven a very interesting exercise! 

So far so good, bit of a way to go but I really want to get better and feel ready to do that, not just for me but my child too. He deserves a present mummy, not a zombie type mummy living in my head. 

Thanks again for getting back to me everyone x

Hey that’s great to hear, I’m glad they were helpful and you’re on the right track even if it’s a wait! I would say just keep taking good care of yourself in the meantime, it honestly goes a long way. Good luck!