How on earth do I deal with this?

[BelAnna]

Hello,

I am really unsure how to manage this situation. I have extremely severe vomit/emetophobia and contamination OCD (I am mostly housebound and do not handle anything that non-family members have touched). This weekend my brother is supposed to be visiting with his fiancee and one year old son as it is my birthday weekend. The problem is that my brother's fiancee had norovirus just over two weeks ago and I now really don't want them to visit as the virus lasts on surfaces (e.g. their mobile phones, toothbrushes) for a month or more and in a sufferer's faeces for weeks to months. I'm living with my parents and this is causing a lot of conflict as I want to ask them to delay the visit and my parents are desperate to see them.

My parents have said that if my brother's family cannot come then they will travel 300 miles this weekend to see them- they would stay in a hotel but I would have to pay for it and they might then end up eating the occasional meal at my brother's flat or worse still use the toilet there. I cannot really cope with this situation as I find Norovirus absolutely terrifying. 

If my brother's family do visit this weekend I will have to share a bathroom (we only have one shower/bath in the house) so there is no way of avoiding the infection if it is still contagious. I could avoid eating from Friday to Monday and just drink Slim Fast or something but going to the toilet and showering would cause me a huge amount of distress as it might be in their faeces (if the toilet is flushed with the lid up then it will spread around the bathroom) and potentially present in the shower/bath too (when people wash themselves tiny amounts of faecal germs end up in the shower/bath).

My Mum has this week off work and it would be great to just have a relaxing week but this is causing all of us so much stress.

What should I do? 

 

 

Edited March 5, 2019 by BelAnna

[PolarBear]

All I can tell you is what a person without your irrational fears eould do. That is, let them visit. 

See, your OCD is now having an effect on other people. Probably has for some time. That's not fair to them.

[taurean]

We have discussed this before. 

You have made yourself a "world expert" on contagion in norovirus. 

We haven't. 

Who is doing the right thing? We are. We live our lives without excessive fear about it. 

Remember, OCD focuses right in on an issue, then magnifies and exaggerates it so it consumes the sufferer. 

What would I do? Welcome them, spend nil time thinking about Noro or any other virus or contamination OCD issue. 

[Angst]

It’s rather like Belanna’s version of Groundhog Day. Agree with previous comments. My last post to you was about trying some medication. Or at least do the research.

[taurean]

I think the practical sensible answer to all the what ifs generated by OCD may be "what if we work towards living our lives the way sensible practical risk-aware other persons do?" 

They don't recognise the restrictions and rules OCD seeks to place upon us. 

Are they right? Of course they are. They aren't daft, they take precautions as advised, but otherwise get on with daily life. 

Why should dastardly OCD ruin our lives? And why should we allow it to? 

We have said it before. Contamination OCD exists only in the mind of the sufferer. 

[BelAnna]

Thanks Taurean, Angst and Polarbear. I'm really not ok about them visiting but apparently they're coming anyway. I've just got to work out whether I can do what you've all suggested and stay around or whether I need to stay in a hotel or something. 

[PolarBear]

BelAnna, you don't NEED to do anything. Anything at all. Your OCD is telling you that you must take illogical steps but you can choose not to listen and react.

[daja]

Stay around BelAnna. Imagine how good you will feel afterwards.

[BelAnna]

Thanks Daja and Polarbear, I messaged to say to go ahead with the visit but they're saying they might not come now.