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battlethrough

Enjoying incest thoughts

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I know I shouldn't drink but on weekends I have a few, I'm really getting concerned with recurring thoughts about my sister when I do

I get thoughts that I will get in her bed tonight and images of sexual acts, the problem is because I'm drunk they don't seem to bother me, it's almost as if I'm OK, even enjoying them, we are both in our 40s and this has been happening more and only srarted in the last 2 years. 

I know I have posted posts about this theme before but the perceived drunk enjoyment of them is very hard to take, almost like I want something to happen, then in the morning I feel disgust that I let the thoughts be there

Does this still sound like ocd or a growing perversion. 

I hope this doesn't disgust, just feel very alone and down atm

 

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Many people have and indulge in fantasies.  These can often be quite extreme, thoughts of using force, of having sex with someone like a Nun, of being violated themselves, incestuous thoughts to name but a few.....but they are just that, fantasies.....being drunk reduces inhibitions and further allows such fantasies to be indulged.  Fantasies in themselves are harmless and are different to unwanted, intrusive thoughts.  Your anxiety and OCD is about having had the fantasy, when in the cold light of day and sober, the thought then frightens concerns and disgusts you and you then start to ruminate about it.

I'm not saying you shouldn't have a drink but perhaps reducing it a little to where you stop short of getting drunk or very drunk.  The effects of excess alcohol worsen OCD and anxiety the following day and will help magnify any anxiety you have.

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1 hour ago, battlethrough said:

Can anyone be there

That by the way was a Reassurance Seeking compulsion :)

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Thanks caramool, I can understand from my other worries about past fantasies that this would seem the same but I don't be leave this was a fantasy, it's as if because I was merry on alcohol the ocd decided to bombard me with images and bad intent thoughts, I don't think I entertained them, in fact I remember finding it strange but because I was drunk I wasn't as bothered until the next day, I hope it wasn't a fantasy as i have been close to my sister all my life, we are both in our 40s and that would be disgusting and totally unnatural, starting to get really screwed up by this, want to confess to partner but I have about intrusive incest thoughts before and she wasn't that bothered, don't know how to handle this, maby I need to accept I am just a creep and that's how it is

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1 hour ago, battlethrough said:

starting to get really screwed up by this

Then you need to stop tormenting yourself. Get busy with something until this drops into the back of your mind- then leave it there. You're anxious at the moment, it's a horrible feeling, but it will pass if you don't engage with it.

1 hour ago, battlethrough said:

want to confess to partner

That's a no no.... compulsion written all over it. You need to deal with this one yourself. Your partner should really only be giving you sympathy for the feelings but not reassurance for the thoughts.

1 hour ago, battlethrough said:

don't know how to handle this

Handle it the same as any other intrusive thought- 'cos that's what it is. You've gone down the rabbit hole because you've engaged with it. 

 

Hang in there mate.

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13 hours ago, battlethrough said:

I don't be leave this was a fantasy, it's as if because I was merry on alcohol the ocd decided to bombard me with images and bad intent thoughts,

Well there you go then.  You've identified for yourself that this was OCD.  So now you need to use the advice that is applicable for all types of OCD.  Reducing compulsions, particularly rumination (trying to work it out) and seeking reassurance in order to reduce the anxiety.  These are unpleasant but meaningless intrusions and are because of a disorder.  Try and apply what you know and don't beat yourself up for something that is in fact meaningless

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