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beckyboo

Is it possible to have been misdiagnosed??

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So after a good 6 months of feeling great, completing CBT & ERP It was agreed for me to come off mirtazapine all together which i did Mid feb. up until this week ive felt great! 

Then tuesday i felt like i was going back downhill. Ive barely been getting enough sleep due to my youngest having tummy troubles through the night, then my eldest being at hospital, a very low iron & vit D deficiency and a whole lotta doom n gloom in the news & social media. tuesday night i felt low, then my anxiety must have kicked in cos i felt sick & shivery then alot of toilet trips too. I barely slept a wink. 

My stomach still isnt any better im between feeling sick & hungry so my appetite has gone. 

Im panicking that maybe i actually do have depression & that im actually having actual suicidal thoughts (my Ocd focused on a fear of suicide) It was established through therapy that i was miss interpretting emotions and feelings and using them as confirmation. In the end my therapist was unable to trigger.me. 

 

I have however become hyper vigilant again so attempting to compare what im feeling now with other peoples cases of depression or ideation. 

again i now feel sick & shakey which has upset my tummy. Ive decided maybe i should just go back on my tablets because i dont wanna risk it if it is actual ideation or if im fearing a relapse. 

I was doing so well! became a peer to peer facilitator with OCD Action & do alot of advocay & started documenting my journey on Youtube. 

I did what should of been a positive live and just felt like i was faking the whole time :'( 

I really dont want depression or these thoughts im trying my hardest to pull myself back up my therapist told me i needed to get myself through this to show myself i can cope otherwise i will always respond this way she says i can overcome it & to re read.my relapse blue print. But now im doubtful that this is even OCD

 

Just so sick of it now, i have been doing amazingly well this just feels like such a step back 

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i mean what if ive just been in complete denial? and convinced the therapist it was OCD?? 

even Dr. Blenkiron wrote to the Gp saying if my depression symptoms returned i should be put on sertraline, when i was being treated for OCD not depression. I just feel like now theyve covered it up from me because i have been so scared of being told i have depression :(

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I have a number of psychiatric diagnoses including depression and OCD. If I understand you correctly, your OCD obsessions were having depression which included suicidal thoughts. 

Of course, OCD is known as the doubting disease so it could be your OCD playing up. So the relapse plan would be appropriate.

SSRIs are recommended for both depression and OCD.

My therapists used Beck’s depression inventory to test the intensity of my depression during therapy. I do have depression. As well as OCD. I think the inventory does measure depression. So you could monitor yourself using the Beck inventory. Though, it might be argued, that using the Beck inventory is a OCD checking compulsion in your case.

No easy answer. Though I would given your experiences follow your therapist’s advice in the medium term.

Edited by Angst

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1 hour ago, Angst said:

I have a number of psychiatric diagnoses including depression and OCD. If I understand you correctly, your OCD obsessions were having depression which included suicidal thoughts. 

Of course, OCD is known as the doubting disease so it could be your OCD playing up. So the relapse plan would be appropriate.

SSRIs are recommended for both depression and OCD.

My therapists used Beck’s depression inventory to test the intensity of my depression during therapy. I do have depression. As well as OCD. I think the inventory does measure depression. So you could monitor yourself using the Beck inventory. Though, it might be argued, that using the Beck inventory is a OCD checking compulsion in your case.

No easy answer. Though I would given your experiences follow your therapist’s advice in the medium term.

I had weekly Phq-7 & Gad asessments and for at least 8 weeks my Depression score was subclinical at 2 points & my GAD score also being a 4. My OCD asessment upon discharge was also subclinical. ive not heard of the Beck asessment thought. Im sure she used the Steckerty model. And yes ur understanding is correct. Just feeling worse as the anxiety has caused feeling nauseated alot im hu gry but cant face food :( so that wont be helping much 

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1 hour ago, Angst said:

I have a number of psychiatric diagnoses including depression and OCD. If I understand you correctly, your OCD obsessions were having depression which included suicidal thoughts. 

Of course, OCD is known as the doubting disease so it could be your OCD playing up. So the relapse plan would be appropriate.

SSRIs are recommended for both depression and OCD.

My therapists used Beck’s depression inventory to test the intensity of my depression during therapy. I do have depression. As well as OCD. I think the inventory does measure depression. So you could monitor yourself using the Beck inventory. Though, it might be argued, that using the Beck inventory is a OCD checking compulsion in your case.

No easy answer. Though I would given your experiences follow your therapist’s advice in the medium term.

Ive just done the inventory you mentioned & its sat at 17, so just above the mild mood disturbance heading into borderline clinical. 

However i am very low on iron & vit D which could be altering the mood & this has only been since tuesday so going to maybe monitor things before rushing to go back on my tablets. i do need to start eating rekon that would likely positively impact things. 

 

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It definitely sounds like OCD.

 I've had OCD about suicide (fearing I would jump down the stairs etc). without any Depression AND real Depression at different times and they feel completely different.

It sounds like you're unwell with a stomach bug and that is making your anxiety worse. Try to watch a film or do something distracting if you can. 

Low vitamin D can make you feel a bit low so definitely take any vitamin D tablets that your GP recommends.

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3 hours ago, BelAnna said:

It definitely sounds like OCD.

 I've had OCD about suicide (fearing I would jump down the stairs etc). without any Depression AND real Depression at different times and they feel completely different.

It sounds like you're unwell with a stomach bug and that is making your anxiety worse. Try to watch a film or do something distracting if you can. 

Low vitamin D can make you feel a bit low so definitely take any vitamin D tablets that your GP recommends.

thank.you for confirming that. I think its possible ive read other news about people who didnt show any signs then the next day a life gone.and been overly hypervigiliant. 

I dont think its a tummy bug as its just nausea. and ive lost 11lb in a week which isnt good. im on 650mg per day of iron & additional.50,000 units of vit D too just started them so.hopefully i will perk up soon xx 

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On 10/03/2019 at 08:19, beckyboo said:

I did what should of been a positive live and just felt like i was faking the whole time :'( 

In order to fake a condition like OCD you'd have to actively try to do so, its not something you can just do by accident :)

While its always technically possible to be misdiagnosed, for any condition, after all doctors are people and people make mistakes, its unlikely that you were misdiagnosed for OCD. Based on the description of your symptoms here, particularly regarding this latest struggle it sounds like a perfect match for OCD to me and others.

 

On 10/03/2019 at 08:19, beckyboo said:

I have however become hyper vigilant again so attempting to compare what im feeling now with other peoples cases of depression or ideation. 

again i now feel sick & shakey which has upset my tummy. Ive decided maybe i should just go back on my tablets because i dont wanna risk it if it is actual ideation or if im fearing a relapse. 

Its understandable under stress that you have fallen back in to this kind of pattern, but its important to recognize that that approach, the checking, isn't going to help you in the long run.  It's a compulsion and compulsions just strengthen OCD.

Its also not unusual to feel physical symptoms of anxiety such as stomach trouble.  But its also important to make sure you are getting proper nutrition, as that will help your well being.  You may need to make yourself eat even when you don't feel hungry, often when I find myself in that situation I feel much better after eating, even though I didn't think I needed to.  You can try simpler foods at first, pasta, bread are good, so are proteins like chicken and fish.  

As to medication, it may be the correct path for you in treating your OCD, it is for many of us, but it should be based on rational thinking about whats best for you short and long term in your recovery, not just because you have intrusive thoughts about something and think the medication might stop the feared consequence.  If you do decide to take a medication again for OCD you might want to discuss and consider with your doctor an SSRI, which is generally the first line treatment (drug wise) for OCD rather than Mirtazipine.  Of course your doctor may have good reason to believe Mirtazipine is best for your situation, so its good be open to that possibility too.

 

9 hours ago, beckyboo said:

I think its possible ive read other news about people who didnt show any signs then the next day a life gone.and been overly hypervigiliant. 

Again, understandable to go down the reassurance and research route, its a common trap to fall in, it seems like what we should do, and absent OCD it might be a good choice, but unfortunately for OCD sufferers its not the right path.  As is, I believe,  the case here, it can be very easy to get the wrong idea when researching in a vulnerable state.  The part about people not showing any signs for example refers to other peoples recollections and observations, not of the persons own behavior.  A person doesn't just suddenly snap and become suicidal, though it can appear that way to an outside observer depending on the circumstances.  This is just one example of how researching, especially in the internet age, can be a bad idea for OCD sufferers.  It doesn't take much to get the wrong idea and then the vulnerable OCD mind runs with it.

Trust your therapist, trust the work you have done, if you are struggling its a good time to talk to the therapist or doctor again and create a plan for moving forward.

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Becky, I don't believe there is such a thing as a text-book, set recovery.  Part of being human is that we can all suffer set backs, poor days which may include low mood (feeling depressed), anxiety, OCD.  The thing is not to panic, don't try to label or categorise this, just accept it as "as is" for the moment and resist falling into old patterns (or panics) to try and fix it, label it or force it away.

It just is for now, call on your knowledge to resist compulsive behaviours to fix things.  Eat what you can, when you can.  Accept that blips happen but that by resisting the urge to catastrophise and fall into "OMG it's all gone wrong" mode will shorten your way through this blip.

Learning how not to buy back in is probably one of the biggest skills we all need to work on.  I've wasted years buying into physical sensations of anxiety, reoccurance of thoughts, low mood, tiredness, hunger, feelings whilst unwell...etc, etc, etc..... they're just feelings/sensations/reactions and in themselves pretty meaningless.  It's buying iback into them that causes the problem. 

Don't seek an answer......it just is for today.  Don't turn this into an episode.  Accept the anxiety and as best you can, sit with it, don't demand a solution and do what you need to do, continue with life as normally as you can, doing what you need to do despite the anxiety.  It's the attention and importance we put upon it that causes the problem.  Watch the rumination, that's generally the biggest enemy

 

 

 

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6 hours ago, Caramoole said:

Becky, I don't believe there is such a thing as a text-book, set recovery.  Part of being human is that we can all suffer set backs, poor days which may include low mood (feeling depressed), anxiety, OCD.  The thing is not to panic, don't try to label or categorise this, just accept it as "as is" for the moment and resist falling into old patterns (or panics) to try and fix it, label it or force it away.

It just is for now, call on your knowledge to resist compulsive behaviours to fix things.  Eat what you can, when you can.  Accept that blips happen but that by resisting the urge to catastrophise and fall into "OMG it's all gone wrong" mode will shorten your way through this blip.

Learning how not to buy back in is probably one of the biggest skills we all need to work on.  I've wasted years buying into physical sensations of anxiety, reoccurance of thoughts, low mood, tiredness, hunger, feelings whilst unwell...etc, etc, etc..... they're just feelings/sensations/reactions and in themselves pretty meaningless.  It's buying iback into them that causes the problem. 

Don't seek an answer......it just is for today.  Don't turn this into an episode.  Accept the anxiety and as best you can, sit with it, don't demand a solution and do what you need to do, continue with life as normally as you can, doing what you need to do despite the anxiety.  It's the attention and importance we put upon it that causes the problem.  Watch the rumination, that's generally the biggest enemy

 

 

 

Thank you your reply has been super helpful :)

 

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7 hours ago, dksea said:

In order to fake a condition like OCD you'd have to actively try to do so, its not something you can just do by accident :)

While its always technically possible to be misdiagnosed, for any condition, after all doctors are people and people make mistakes, its unlikely that you were misdiagnosed for OCD. Based on the description of your symptoms here, particularly regarding this latest struggle it sounds like a perfect match for OCD to me and others.

 

Its understandable under stress that you have fallen back in to this kind of pattern, but its important to recognize that that approach, the checking, isn't going to help you in the long run.  It's a compulsion and compulsions just strengthen OCD.

Its also not unusual to feel physical symptoms of anxiety such as stomach trouble.  But its also important to make sure you are getting proper nutrition, as that will help your well being.  You may need to make yourself eat even when you don't feel hungry, often when I find myself in that situation I feel much better after eating, even though I didn't think I needed to.  You can try simpler foods at first, pasta, bread are good, so are proteins like chicken and fish.  

As to medication, it may be the correct path for you in treating your OCD, it is for many of us, but it should be based on rational thinking about whats best for you short and long term in your recovery, not just because you have intrusive thoughts about something and think the medication might stop the feared consequence.  If you do decide to take a medication again for OCD you might want to discuss and consider with your doctor an SSRI, which is generally the first line treatment (drug wise) for OCD rather than Mirtazipine.  Of course your doctor may have good reason to believe Mirtazipine is best for your situation, so its good be open to that possibility too.

 

Again, understandable to go down the reassurance and research route, its a common trap to fall in, it seems like what we should do, and absent OCD it might be a good choice, but unfortunately for OCD sufferers its not the right path.  As is, I believe,  the case here, it can be very easy to get the wrong idea when researching in a vulnerable state.  The part about people not showing any signs for example refers to other peoples recollections and observations, not of the persons own behavior.  A person doesn't just suddenly snap and become suicidal, though it can appear that way to an outside observer depending on the circumstances.  This is just one example of how researching, especially in the internet age, can be a bad idea for OCD sufferers.  It doesn't take much to get the wrong idea and then the vulnerable OCD mind runs with it.

Trust your therapist, trust the work you have done, if you are struggling its a good time to talk to the therapist or doctor again and create a plan for moving forward.

I was given mirtazapine because for some reason on my medical notes that id already tried sertraline & citalapram ...however even though id been prescribed them citalopram made me very spaced out even after 1st dose so i didnt continue them & the sertraline made me feel very sick, having emetephobia thats a huge challenge for me so i refused to take anymore (3 doses i took max) 

Plus the duty pysch at the hospital last year when i presented in huge crisis she failed to listen to me about OCD, confirmed a fear by giving false certainty before telling me it was post natal depression & discrediting any compulsions i told her i was having. So that cast alot of doubt

 Our family social worker also dismissed me telling her it was OCD because id recognised the signs, she went on to say i was in denial & not willing to accept i was actively suicidal, telling me i had been hiding thing deliberatly rather than hiding them as a safety seeking compulsion so again this made me doubt myself. 

 

And more recently my consultant physchiatrist whom ive never met wrote to my docs saying if i show depressive symptoms again i have to be prescribed sertraline no mention of OCD even though id completed 5 months of CBT & ERP for it

 I just have to believe in what ive learnt. I think it just took me off gaurd as ive been feeling pretty much OCD free for a while. 

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Are you on the books of your local Community Mental Heath Team?

If so there would be team meetings about the patients and the consultant psychiatrist would or could be writing to your GP as to the team’s view about your mental health. Given what you say your case notes would probably refer to post netal depression. This would in a sense be a diagnosis.

Was the CBT conducted by a clinical psychologist or staff member of the CMHT?

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5 hours ago, Angst said:

Are you on the books of your local Community Mental Heath Team?

If so there would be team meetings about the patients and the consultant psychiatrist would or could be writing to your GP as to the team’s view about your mental health. Given what you say your case notes would probably refer to post netal depression. This would in a sense be a diagnosis.

Was the CBT conducted by a clinical psychologist or staff member of the CMHT?

It was the hospitals duty psych who said PND & didnt bother to check my history of OCD 

I had all the classic signs of a OCD relapse but was dismissed. 

I requested to go to a facility later that day because her words gave a terrifying certainty that i just couldnt cope witu. 

i had a formulation whilst there with the hospitals duty consultant who confirmed OCD relapse. 

I was then under the CMHT who also confirmed OCD and refferred me onto IAPT for CBT & Erp therapy. while i was waiting for the refferal the CMHT teams psych basocly said it dodnt matter if it was pnd or ocd that both were treatable which i didnt find helpful due to one of my compulsions was ruminating to figure it out. 

Every session i had i did a depression / anxiety score sheet in which my depression score was never above 4  my therapist established OCD & GAD as co.morbid

 We established that my compulsions were mental ones specifically around checking emotions or avoidance

 I was refferred to IAPT by the CMHT and treated for OCD

even if i did have depression she would of picked up.on that

(Therapist was a high intensity CBT psych)

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I am not particularly concerned with any psychiatric diagnosis applied to me. I have been in the past where I have rightly been concerned with the employment implications of having a diagnosis given the nature of my past profession.

It appears to me that you still have a fear or concern about diagnosis of depression. Or having depression.  I think that it is likely that this concern reveals the stubbornness of your OCD theme.  And no other factor. So it seems sensible to follow your therapist’s advice and live life. It is just a hiccup.

Edited by Angst

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22 hours ago, Angst said:

I am not particularly concerned with any psychiatric diagnosis applied to me. I have been in the past where I have rightly been concerned with the employment implications of having a diagnosis given the nature of my past profession.

It appears to me that you still have a fear or concern about diagnosis of depression. Or having depression.  I think that it is likely that this concern reveals the stubbornness of your OCD theme.  And no other factor. So it seems sensible to follow your therapist’s advice and live life. It is just a hiccup.

Thank you, 

 

Ive spoken to my Gp who has said the anemia & fatigue will certainly be contributors but also apparently after coming off mirtazapine even gradually there are some side effects for a little while 

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It's possible to be misdiagnosed and it happens. You can even be anxious and feel depressed beside having/had OCD. You won't try to find a solution in compulsions but it's possible. OCD will take away time from you and it's also possible to end up in an overall bad situation in life and bvad situations tend to make people sad. 

If I was you I would try to overcome compulsions

Edited by OCDhavenobrain

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22 hours ago, OCDhavenobrain said:

It's possible to be misdiagnosed and it happens. You can even be anxious and feel depressed beside having/had OCD. You won't try to find a solution in compulsions but it's possible. OCD will take away time from you and it's also possible to end up in an overall bad situation in life and bvad situations tend to make people sad. 

If I was you I would try to overcome compulsions

sorry but struggling to understand what you put 

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10 minutes ago, beckyboo said:

It's possible to be misdiagnosed and it happens. You can even be anxious and feel depressed beside having/had OCD. You won't try to find a solution in compulsions but it's possible. OCD will take away time from you

It's possible to be misdiagnosed

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On 13/03/2019 at 17:06, OCDhavenobrain said:

It's possible to be misdiagnosed

Yes it is however i went through higj intensity CBT im sure the therapist would of picked up on it

 

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6 hours ago, beckyboo said:

Yes it is however i went through higj intensity CBT im sure the therapist would of picked up on it

SO there you go then :)  
Is it possible to be misdiagnosed?  Sure its possible.
Is it likely in your situation?  No, its probably not likely, therefore not worth spending time dwelling on.  So if you are feeling doubt, its probably OCD and you should treat it as OCD and work on paying no mind to the thought :)

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A major part of this forum’s purpose is to provide reassurance. The reassurance that you have OCD. That’s why people post on an OCD forum. You have been able to reaffirm that your anxieties about depression are founded upon the terrain of OCD.

You did this yourself by telling the forum your story. I think you needed to do this on this forum because some powerful people were cataloguing you as a depressive.  For example the consultant’s letter to your GP. You needed to validate and proceed with the implementation of the CBT therapy.

What future plans do you have so that you do not become so anxious about people defining you as a depressive in the future? And how are you going to conquer your anxiety about depression?

 

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2 hours ago, Angst said:

A major part of this forum’s purpose is to provide reassurance. The reassurance that you have OCD. That’s why people post on an OCD forum. You have been able to reaffirm that your anxieties about depression are founded upon the terrain of OCD.

You did this yourself by telling the forum your story. I think you needed to do this on this forum because some powerful people were cataloguing you as a depressive.  For example the consultant’s letter to your GP. You needed to validate and proceed with the implementation of the CBT therapy.

What future plans do you have so that you do not become so anxious about people defining you as a depressive in the future? And how are you going to conquer your anxiety about depression?

 

just live my life & enjoy it :) but yes your right in what youve said, thank you :)

Acceptance is going to be key for me i think 

Edited by beckyboo

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