So fed up

[don't know]

Okay, this is a silly one, I know. 

Basically i'm terrified of the concept of fate. Especially the idea that two people are pushed together. I've been having this recently with a family member. I don't like this family member much, but he really likes me. I keep bumping into him all over the place and I'm terrified that this means the world is trying to push me towards him.  I don't like his company but I'm scared this isn't true because I keep telling myself it like it's denial or something. 

Firstly, I'm not attracted to him (thinking about him in that way makes my skin crawl) but because I didn't ask what if that must mean it's not OCD. I keep looking up all these articles about being pushed together by fate and a lot of people believe in it, I almost did, it's a nice idea but I don't want it to happen. I know you can't control how you feel but I really just don't want this to happen but the fact that it keeps happening must mean something. I've been anxious about it for the past few hours. 

Especially, watching movies were it always ends with the someone they hated and falling in love with them because they were pushed together. And it's worse because it's a family member. 

 

[don't know]

I'm just so anxious, I feel like world is literally just ******* with me at this point. I just feel like I'm supposed to be unhappy, not go after I want because there's no point to it anyway (personal situation) It's so pathetic all my friends and family think so. The only time I was happy was like six months ago and now I'm just sad, anxious or depressed. 

Also, I apologise for swearing in the post - it's the only word I can think of to describe it. 

Im also counting how many times I bumped into him and everything - I don't want it to happen, that's awful of me I know. But it seems like that's my destiny. 

Edited March 12, 2019 by don't know

[taurean]

1 hour ago, don't know said:

Im also counting how many times I bumped into him and everything - I don't want it to happen, that's awful of me I know. But it seems like that's my destiny. 

Hi don't know. 

You need to work on recognising what is going on in your mind. OCD has latched onto this thing, and likely created a magical thinking scenario. 

It isn't your destiny, it's just OCD at work.

None of us like everybody, and there is nothing to stop people liking us - que sera sera - what will be will be. 

OCD tells us, with such themes, that co-incidences aren't so, they are meant to be. But it lies, co-incidences are just exactly that. If this person were however found   to be deliberately seeking you out, well you would treat that as you would an unwanted suitor or friend. Not encourage it and, if necessary, clearly say what your feelings are. 

 

 

Edited March 12, 2019 by taurean

[PolarBear]

So you got another intrusive thought and what did you do? Went Googling to see if you could find info. And it didn't mske you feel better!!!! Sound familiar? It's your default compulsion. 

[malina]

6 hours ago, don't know said:

Okay, this is a silly one, I know. 

Basically i'm terrified of the concept of fate. Especially the idea that two people are pushed together. I've been having this recently with a family member. I don't like this family member much, but he really likes me. I keep bumping into him all over the place and I'm terrified that this means the world is trying to push me towards him.  I don't like his company but I'm scared this isn't true because I keep telling myself it like it's denial or something. 

Firstly, I'm not attracted to him (thinking about him in that way makes my skin crawl) but because I didn't ask what if that must mean it's not OCD. I keep looking up all these articles about being pushed together by fate and a lot of people believe in it, I almost did, it's a nice idea but I don't want it to happen. I know you can't control how you feel but I really just don't want this to happen but the fact that it keeps happening must mean something. I've been anxious about it for the past few hours. 

Especially, watching movies were it always ends with the someone they hated and falling in love with them because they were pushed together. And it's worse because it's a family member. 

 

DK, why do you listen to these random articles but ignore all solid advice?

[Guest OCDhavenobrain]

1 hour ago, malina said:

DK, why do you listen to these random articles but ignore all solid advice?

This is a good point. Do you want to recover because I don't really see that you are listening to us here. On the other hand do you trust all those articles.

 

It's time for a change, you need to change something, this is not working!

Edited March 12, 2019 by OCDhavenobrain

[malina]

4 hours ago, OCDhavenobrain said:

This is a good point. Do you want to recover because I don't really see that you are listening to us here. On the other hand do you trust all those articles.

 

It's time for a change, you need to change something, this is not working!

I completely understand that this is hard.

The advice that you’re given for overcoming OCD is tough because it involves essentially ignoring everything your feelings are telling you is true.

On the other hand, performing compulsions like reading these articles feeds your current state of mind.

However, if you’re willing to listen to information from these articles, written by random people with no qualifications, why not take a chance and try to listen to some people who have the same condition as you, have had therapy and lots of experience in the same problems you’re dealing with?

[Guest OCDhavenobrain]

It's really really hard but it has to be done or the same will come over and over again and it's such a waste of time. don't know you are wasting your time big time, OCD is ruining your life. And I sad that you are not doing anything for it to stop. 

I thought about a thing today. Just because an OCD-sufferer post on an OCD-forum doesn't mean it is progression, it can and it often is the total opposite. Because the sufferer KNOWS that if she/he would tell someone who doesn't know about OCD she/he would get the wrong response, I see it every week on other forums which I visit (which is not about OCD), people who have OCD (some of them is not aware and then I try to tell them, you really can see a pattern when you know about OCD9 who post something and they get responses from people without OCD and it gets the sufferer so very triggered. I did the same, then I started to confess here because you guys "know". Posting on forums and getting the wrong advice was a clear recipe for anxiety, and if they didn't write anything bad I reread the answers and "interpret what they really meant". 

My point to you "don't know" is that your first step is to see that you are doing the WRONG thing as it is now. I don't know you (and most importantly what you on a daily basis) but I would guess that this state is your overall-state, you are probably doing very little for any change to come anytime soon. Confessing on forums doesn't make it an improvement, YOUR MINDSET is what makes it happen. You can write and write and write and write about OCD, about how bad it is and what you need and what you could do but nothing will come from it if you are being fearful, if you are being weak towards it, you need to show it POWER and be the one who is in charge, or it will beat you down every time. Also... and this is making it hard, the thoughts will come over and over again and it will even feel worse. 

• If you are coming from a position of weakness towards OCD it will win, not a question about IF, this is certain, it will come back to you demanding your attention again and again. 
• If you are coming from a position of power you have a possibility to put it where it belongs -- in the bin. 

---> It's that easy. 

I mean it's really really hard, but the theory is easy. It will probably be the hardest thing, and that sucks, but that is what makes it so successful, many millions of people wouldn't suffer if it wasn't a big deal. OCD is pretty damn clever if you think about it. But the big deal is NOT the thought, the big deal here are your feelings which comes from fawlty behavior towards thoughts which pop up in your head.

Edited March 13, 2019 by OCDhavenobrain

[don't know]

My brain has just been jumping from one thing to another and I can never truly know my emotions. It is really difficult because it literally feels like there's two sides of me. I've just been feeling really distant, confused and frustrated. Like I was thinking about something that should make me happy and it made me incredibly anxious, and I panicked.