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Struggling to sit with the anxiety and not entertain thoughts


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Hi 

I've been really trying hard recently to not entertain the thoughts and when I feel anxious just to ride it out. But yesterday i had a horrible thought that I may be attracted to my friend's son - whom I've never met, only seen photos and he is only 8. It came from nowhere and really freaked me out, but then my OCD got away with me and I was checking by imagining scenarios where I could harm him and trying to figure out how I felt about it. It made me feel awful and I know I would never ever do it but now my OCD has taken on this new form where I'm terrified I'm attracted to young boys - every time there's one on the tv or I see any in the street I have a wave of anxiety and feel like I need to figure out if I am. I'm really trying not to get into the cycle of rumination but feeling really guilty and ashamed of myself for ever having the thoughts in the first place. Does anyone have any tips for trying to not engage in the thoughts and start ruminating? Or for dealing with the guilt that comes with it? 

On another note I went for a session with a new counsellor the other day. It was an assessment session so was only half an hour but I'm not sure if it was what I am after. She asked me on a scale of 1-10 (1 being the least likely that I would act on my thoughts and 10 being the most likely) how likely I would be to act on them. I said obviously 1 but it made me feel uneasy - surely this isn't the question you should be asking someone with severe OCD intrusive thoughts, because it just makes them feel more anxious? I'm going to try and find another counsellor anyway, does anybody have any tips for what to look for or the best way to find someone who can treat OCD with ERP?

Thanks

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Hi,

I know this feeling well, you think you've got the thoughts under control and then suddenly one just throws you off balance. I think it's important to just keep reminding yourself that this is more of the same, it'll feel different and more real sometimes but you just apply the same approach. If you struggle to sit out the anxiety, also keep in mind that some of the things OCD throws at us have a greater impact on us and that it may just take more time and willpower. 

As for the therapist, are you going NHS or private? I have a private therapist at the moment and I did a lot of research. If you google the person, there will be some information online about their past experience and I chose my therapist because he had spent a long time treating people with OCD before going private. If it's on the NHS, I don't know how much choice you actually have. 

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6 hours ago, malina said:

Hi,

I know this feeling well, you think you've got the thoughts under control and then suddenly one just throws you off balance. I think it's important to just keep reminding yourself that this is more of the same, it'll feel different and more real sometimes but you just apply the same approach. If you struggle to sit out the anxiety, also keep in mind that some of the things OCD throws at us have a greater impact on us and that it may just take more time and willpower. 

As for the therapist, are you going NHS or private? I have a private therapist at the moment and I did a lot of research. If you google the person, there will be some information online about their past experience and I chose my therapist because he had spent a long time treating people with OCD before going private. If it's on the NHS, I don't know how much choice you actually have. 

Hi

Thank you for you reply! That really comforts me knowing you know the feeling, I'm going to keep sticking at it and not let the thoughts draw me into rumination. 

I have applied through the NHS but won't get a placement until an initial phonecall on the 8th of April. So now I am looking for something privately and this lady that I saw was private. I will look more in detail, are there any websites you would recommend? 

 

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2 hours ago, jlmdfem said:

Hi

Thank you for you reply! That really comforts me knowing you know the feeling, I'm going to keep sticking at it and not let the thoughts draw me into rumination. 

I have applied through the NHS but won't get a placement until an initial phonecall on the 8th of April. So now I am looking for something privately and this lady that I saw was private. I will look more in detail, are there any websites you would recommend? 

 

Hi,

I took a look at the CBT register http://www.cbtregisteruk.com and searched for someone in my area, I live in London so there was quite a lot on offer. I also decided to go for someone who either has a clinical degree or psychiatrist (they are the ones with a "dr" title). I'm not sure this really matters to be honest, it's just my own bias. I also think that psychiatrists don't typically do CBT and most insurance companies won't pay for CBT with a psychiatrist, so maybe a clinical psychologist is better to go with. 

I found a few people and just googled them. The psychiatrist I ended up going with has a great deal of experience working with OCD, which I found online. I called him and got a really good impression on the phone - he was very honest and didn't try to sell his service to me. He was saying that as a psychiatrist he charges more than a psychologist would and offered to recommend a psychologist. Then I went for an initial appointment with him and he just gave me a lot of information and seemed to really understand what I was saying. So in the end I was convinced and decided to go with him. 

It's honestly quite a lot of money (to me at least) and it's my mental health in question, so I didn't want to choose just anyone. If someone makes you feel uncomfortable or you just don't click with them, I'd say it's a good idea to try another therapist. 

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