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Feeling hopeless


Guest Paul92

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Guest Paul92
11 minutes ago, taurean said:

And so that is just another OCD core belief. Another theme of OCD, a magical thinking one. 

Sorry, who was this addressed to?

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1 hour ago, Phil10 said:

Yes I worry my thoughts are controlled and I have no free will?

To you Phil. We all have a free will, but when in the grip - which seems like control - of OCD, we believe it overpowers our free will, and determines the direction of our lives. 

Edited by taurean
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Guest Paul92
36 minutes ago, taurean said:

To you Phil. We all have a free will, but when in the grip - which seems like control - of OCD, we believe it overpowers our free will, and determines the direction of our lives. 

Oh okay, thought you was confusing Phil with myself

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Hi Phil10

You have two diagnoses. I wonder if this idea of your thoughts being controlled and having no willpower relate to your other diagnosis. It sounds as if it might be typical of your other diagnosis. Just a thought. I think that it is worth talking over with your psychiatrist if you have not already done so.

I have a number of diagnoses and they can interact to the extent that achieving progress in the context of one diagnosis is hampered by the operation of another diagnosis.

Sorry for intruding on your thread Paul92. Perhaps the moderator could start a new thread beginning with Phil10’s statement.

Edited by Angst
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Guest Phil10
1 hour ago, Angst said:

Hi Phil10

You have two diagnoses. I wonder if this idea of your thoughts being controlled and having no willpower relate to your other diagnosis. It sounds as if it might be typical of your other diagnosis. Just a thought. I think that it is worth talking over with your psychiatrist if you have not already done so.

I have a number of diagnoses and they can interact to the extent that achieving progress in the context of one diagnosis is hampered by the operation of another diagnosis.

Sorry for intruding on your thread Paul92. Perhaps the moderator could start a new thread beginning with Phil10’s statement.

Yes that’s true. I mean I wouldn’t rule it out but when I was going through my worst occasionally I would have thoughts similar to this before I got on the right meds however some of the thoughts like solipsism and these strange ideas of free will have come after the bipolar was treated. So I wonder if it’s the ocd playing on it. After the bipolar episode I went through spells with little or no ocd or anxiety. When I moved house last year my anxiety and ocd went sky high and never settled my ocd went from mild to severe. 

It was over the past year I googled all these ideas about life and had these false thoughts about contamination. 

So if you ask me why I’m like this I believe it was “life stress” like moving house. Perhaps this has left a long term affect on me and maybe why the ocd and thoughts are so strong? 

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Guest Phil10

I don’t mean to post in same topic but I’ve had some of the thoughts the original poster has had so thought it was relevant to post.

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9 hours ago, Paul92 said:

I'm just struggling to see how this might be related to OCD. I might be depressed, yes. In fact, yes, I am depressed. I've never felt as low or hopeless. But I do feel like I have lost all perspective on life. Everything is coming and going to fast. And in everything I do all I hear is stuff that the new age spiritualists say. "You are not a person, you are the universe experiencing itself" "You are an event, not a human" "time is an illusion, there is only now". It all freaks me out. I hate it. I wish I'd never heard of any it. Id rather have lived a happy lie, if that is what it is.

If I let go of the time thing then I just get a feeling like everything is pointless if we all die and then the universe ends. Literally, what is the point in us doing anything, going to work, forming relationships, trying to make the world a better place, if nothing will ever exist at some point?

You have to stop trying to answer all those questions. Trying to answer them is a compulsion.

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I have known people with bipolar who say the medication solves the bipolar problem.

 Like you my OCD spiked on a specific event. The near death of my mother one Christmas Day.  Before that it was always in the background but manageable.

Of course I did not realise that it was OCD until it got extreme and had treatment.

To me the life stresses that causes the spike is a key element in therapy. Many of the population have OCD behaviours like pushing against the door to make sure it’s locked. It is when it becomes extreme it becomes a problem.

Edited by Angst
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Guest Phil10
4 minutes ago, Angst said:

I have known people with bipolar who say the medication solves the bipolar problem.

 Like you my OCD spiked on a specific event. The near death of my mother one Christmas Day.  Before that it was always in the background but manageable.

Of course I did not realise that it was OCD until it got extreme and had treatment.

To me the life stresses that causes the spike is a key element in therapy. Many of the population have OCD behaviours like pushing against the door to make sure it’s locked. It is when it becomes extreme it becomes a problem.

I moved house in 2015 to my first house then worried about my job, then had a breakdown and since moved house twice and now getting married. Years ago I failed a driving test and needed diazepam. I realise when it comes to big events I struggle to cope. I sort of hope there isn’t too many more I may not cope having a family or anything like that.

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I can really identify. The big events. I too have had major breakdowns. Two in fact. I think it’s about working on your coping skills. Yours seem pretty good in an objective sense. One example, having the resources to move home twice. Though from your threads there might be no need to. Still you had the resources.

Edited by Angst
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