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Please can someone offer some advice and tell me I'm not a monster?! I have POCD and have been doing well for a while but recently have found that whenever I see a photograph of a child, I feel like I have the urge to look at their crotch and i don't know why!! I think I had an intrusive thought about looking that triggered this originally and that's why now whenever I see a photo I have this urge but I don't know :( It's really scaring me! Especially because sometimes I have actually looked quickly then looked away and clicked off the photo. Please bare in mind that these can literally just be (and are) innocent family photos that someone has shared on social media, but as soon as I see a child I feel like I have to look and if i do it is for split second and then i feel like such a monster - HOW COULD I DO THIS?! I don't feel anything from it but shame and guilt and disgust. I never ever want to harm a child but why do I have these urges to look? I've come home today from work crying and my parents have noticed, they know about my OCD but not the details and I just said I wasn't feeling great but I feel like if they knew what I'd done they'd hate me. Am I a terrible person? i don't know if this is reassurance seeking but I just don't want to be a monster. I keep thinking that if i just treat it as OCD then I would forget about it and it probably wouldn't happen again, but can i treat it as OCD, is it? I'm sorry if this upsets anyone I promise I don't ever want to harm a child I'm just so scared about what is happening to me and why I feel like this :( I feel so helpless please can somebody offer some advice? 

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Take a breath. Yes, you are reassurance seeking but a little in the beginning is okay.

Fact: if you were a pedophile, looking at a child's crotch wouldn't bother you. You are freaking out. Plain and simple.

You are right. Treat it like OCD. 

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Hi jlmdfem :)

Sorry to hear you are having a tough time. I agree with polarbear, Treat it like OCD.

It is pretty obvious that you don't want to harm a child. Treat all this you are feeling like OCD because that is what it is.

big HU

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Thank you both! I was really panicking so this has made me feel a lot better. I am going to continue trying to ignore the thoughts and treat them and the feelings as OCD! Thank you :) 

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