Back to square one

[freya196]

I'd say since the beginning of december I'd been doing great, my OCD was on the back burner, it was still there but not affecting me in the way it normally did. I went to the doctors, I got some medication and I'd not felt so good in a long time. I knew it couldn't last though and it didn't. I was triggered out of the blue by a random woman yesterday and i've spiralled since then. Now every female is a trigger again, i've lost my attraction for men again and the cycle continues. To be honest I only have myself to blame since I fell for the oldest trick in the book, I came off my medication because I felt better. Now I don't know what to do. I feel like this time it's different, that my OCD isn't OCD and i'm just in denial. I hate this so much, I have really important exams in TWO MONTHS. I could do without this! Anyone any ideas on what to do?

[PolarBear]

You should NEVER just come off meds because you were feeling better. Chances are you were feeling better because of the meds.

Go back to your doctor and ask him if it's okay to go back on them.

Watch your compulsions. It's not the intrusive thoughts thst get you in trouble. It's the compulsions.

 

[taurean]

Don't panic. 

Build up the meds again. 

Understand that with this type of OCD (as with my harm theme) OCD lies. It attacks our true core character values such as sexual preference fancying the other sex, physical and mental responses and alleges the opposite - causing the severe adverse behavioural response you experience. 

Don't listen to it. Don't worry about the feelings it substitutes. Don't believe what you are experiencing is true. Don't go googling, don't carry out testing, don't neutralise with opposing thoughts. Just trust that this is what you are experiencing. 

I call the apparent falls back to square one in OCD "snakes and ladders". It's commonplace with this for us to be doing well, then some intrusion breaks through our resilience. 

We slip down a snake, reaching out for a ladder. But we cannot hold onto it - a vicious anxiety cycle is building, and we slip down more snakes and cannot hold onto a ladder to climb back up. 

Here is what I devised to allow me to catch hold of a ladder and climb back up. 

Examine the "Vicious flower" diagram - you can draw your own - of the creation of the slide from that initial intrusion that broke through, along and round until catastrophising "oh it just must be true" occurs. See link below:

https://www.ocdforums.org/index.php?/topic/65719-vicious-cycles-draw-your-own-vicious-flower-diagram-then-plan-how-to-break-the-cycle/

Look at ways you can "spoke" any of the different elements in that wheel - challenge them - between the interactions. 

Impliment that action, then refocus away and keep doing that. 

When you stop the anxiety cycle from turning, you can reach out, grasp, and climb up a ladder. 

Edited March 24, 2019 by taurean