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Back at the homework I failed at last time, its hard purposely thinking something you don't wanna think 

I'm trying to not respond, soon as I don't respond a WORSE thought comes to throw a spanner in the works

Trying to not respond though 

Had a couple successful attempts today

Just trying to get my head around it all and believe that in ocd it does take on the form of urges that feel real. 

I'm always afraid I'm different because my worry is "did I act on my fear?" "was it my fault?" it is a constant circle. Feeling guilty for anything that seemed to be ME, even though I dont have the desire to act out in my heart, my head makes me think I slipped up and gave in.

When it says "you could just do it" it feels like a real urge, like I'm watching my moves, but I don't want to do it!

Anyway I'm trying again :(

 

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Hey, I get you. CBT and ERP are really tough because they force us to do the things we don't want to do. It will feel bad at first but you just have to keep going until it feels less bad. I've got a few big challenges coming up in terms of therapy so my thoughts will be with you! :)

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