Jump to content

Recommended Posts

I keep on just thinking over thoughts and feelings I’ve had in the past, analysing my feelings and reactions towards them, trying to make myself not like them and tell myself they’re bad but it’s not working. It’s just pretty constant at the moment.

I realise that if I ruminate or analyse the thoughts, it’s not going to change anything. I know nothing bad will happen whether I go over the thoughts or not over and over again. So I don’t know why I do them? I get that I do them because I don’t want them to be true but I know it’s pretty pointless so why can’t I stop. I just feel like I’m living in a nightmare right now. I’m trying to distract myself but it’s not working and I’m so upset.

Link to comment

Hi Rachel23

I am exactly the same! I know the feeling it is horrible. I've been suffering badly with the same thing recently, feeling like you have to go over everything and for me it just makes things worse as any relief I feel dissipates in minutes or I feel worse. It is a tricky thing to stop doing but over the last few days I've found by literally saying to myself "NO i'm not doing this anymore" and doing something else, it is helping. It is hard and you have to sit with the anxiety but it does help. It's horrible when everything in you is saying you're something you don't want to be, I know that feeling so well of living in a nightmare. But keep trying to distract yourself and gradually as you change your focus onto something else, you will find you do stop ruminating. 

I hope this helps - I always find just knowing someone else feels the same offers a bit of comfort x

Link to comment

I’m so sorry you feel this way too. It really is hell and I can’t believe this has happened to me. I know it’s not a good way to think but it’s just the truth. I’ve managed it before many times and managed to get completely well and free from ocd and feel it’ll never happen to me again but it always does. I just can’t seem to stop ruminating for more than a minute unless I’m asleep (using sleeping tablets). I feel I’m going crazy. I just don’t want to be a bad person in society and I know ruminating won’t change it but at least when I’m ruminating it at least feels I’m trying to make myself not feel like a bad person or trying to sort out my being. I’m so confused. I hope you’re doing better than me! X

Link to comment
On 01/04/2019 at 00:28, rachel23 said:

So I don’t know why I do them? I get that I do them because I don’t want them to be true but I know it’s pretty pointless so why can’t I stop. I just feel like I’m living in a nightmare right now. I’m trying to distract myself but it’s not working and I’m so upset.

Rumination is one of (if not the) most common OCD compulsion and its also a tricky one to tackle thanks to how easy it is to do and how normal that kind of behavior is in our lives outside of OCD.  You have a problem? You think about it, analyze it, come to a conclusion and move on.  It works for other things so why shouldn't we try it for OCD right?  So it makes sense you'd default to that kind of behavior, you are trying to solve a problem after all.  Unfortunately, when it comes to OCD, its actually counter productive and so you have to kind of unlearn the habit.  It takes time but you CAN do it.

At first its going to be tricky, you'll probably catch yourself ruminating often, and when you try and turn away from ruminating youll find yourself drifting back to it pretty quickly.  Its important to be patient with yourself at this time, understand that you are working to undo a lifetime of behavior, a deeply ingrained habit.  First, try to be aware of your rumination, try to notice when you are doing it.  When you do notice, remind yourself that rumination won't help, and gently try and refocus on something else.  Again at first this will be tricky, you'll probably slip in to rumination often and might not notice it right away.  When you do notice you might feel frustrated or disappointed, but try not to be, you are learning and that takes awhile.  You'll also likely find its hard to stay refocused for long, you'll slip back in to rumination pretty quickly and easily.  Thats ok too, you are just starting out, you'll get better over time.  Think of it like exercise, you don't go form complete couch potato to elite marathon runner in a day or two, it takes time and training.  You start out slow and gain improvement over time, until one day you can do something that you'd never have been able to do weeks or months or years earlier.

Personally, I found the Four Steps method from Dr. Jeffrey Schwartz, introduced in his book Brainlock, to be particularly helpful in tackling rumination.  You can find info about the Four Steps method online and if you are interested I found Brainlock to be a highly interesting and insightful book in to OCD.  It helped me in my recovery and I recommend it to anyone fighting this monster we know was OCD.

Hope all of that made sense!  Best of luck moving forward.  OCD recovery, like many things in life is a journey, unfortunately not often a quick one, but it is worth it in the end.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...