Fluidstains

[Guest OCDhavenobrain]

Triggerwarning. I am not mainly affected with cobatminationfears but this is too much even for me.

 

I really need advices here now. I feel really gross. I was home at a relative which is old and probably alcholic and he has a bottle beside of urine beside where he had the toiletpaper stacked in plasticbags. Sooooo I looked at one of the bags today and I see staind which looks just like dried. I feelt panicking so I sat there analyIng and even smelled it from like 20 cm from the icky stuff. Also I have used some of the paper in that bag.

 

I feel kinda panicking now. Incest and icky feelings are comming over me. I know for a face that this man doesnt care about hygiene and I also know that he has the bottles there. This was just too much.

 

Edited April 2, 2019 by OCDhavenobrain

[Guest OCDhavenobrain]

Could also be https://www.google.com/search?q=dehydrated+mik&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwj95vvCk7HhAhWSzCoKHfr5AgsQ2-cCegQIABAC&oq=dehydrated+mik&gs_l=mobile-gws-wiz-img.3..0i19l2j0i8i13i30i19.1278.1739..2012...0.0..0.103.192.1j1......0....1.........0i8i30i19.K-ws2K43r4E&ei=9jKjXP2TE5KZqwH684tY&bih=640&biw=360&client=ms-android-lge-rev1&prmd=isvn&hl=sv#imgrc=1yqksf2HwXxOYM

 

Dried milk 

I dont know I do know for a fact that this man have a bottle just beside and I have seen pornmagazines in the room soo.. Many thiughts in my head now. Incest and stuff. Icky sticky feelings.

[Guest OCDhavenobrain]

Sorry but I can't stop feeling yikes. Because it is not just gross it is also kinda incest-ish. There was a paperroll just under the stain

 

https://imgur.com/a/vHkSKqt

I can't just ask him what it is that would be the most sick question I habe ever come up with, so I guess I am left with other methods to figure it out. Do I want to know? I cant see how I could be able to know and live on, then the uncertainty is pretty yikes too.

Sorry, but I am really cluess..

[Hal]

1 hour ago, OCDhavenobrain said:

so, so I guess I am left with other methods to figure it out. Do I want to know? I cant see how I could be able to know and live on, then the uncertainty is pretty yikes too.

Sorry, but I am really cluess..

I’m sure you’re not clueless, deep down I think you know your reaction’s being driven by the disorder but for the moment the anxiety’s completely fazed you, just as it does for all of us when we’re triggered by something.

The only method you need to employ though is one that supports your mental well-being, and that’s to refuse point blank to get drawn into any sort of internal debate about what the substance was or what it might mean. You’ve been thrown a curve ball with the physical contamination combined with mental contamination (incest) but try to let those ‘icky’ feelings just be there, you don’t need to do anything to be rid of them or the doubts and thoughts, or could you use this an exposure exercise?

Is there anything you can do this afternoon that will help you refocus?

[Guest OCDhavenobrain]

I was stressed yesterday and I woke up with a nightmare today. Then did I see the white stuff. I have actually been getting thoughts about a memory the past days. 

I really didn't see this as OCD and still doesn't. I think. I feel sick about the mere thought. And not even an OCD-sufferer would feel that way.

But it haven't just popped up today from nowhere. I think. So if this is an OCD-thought then I still wonder if I am able to read about OCD and help other without getting dragged back in. OR is it that I am not fully over all of this. It is pretty clear to me that it could be the last one.The last one is pretty clear to me, but it seems to me like even the ones I have left behind keep on comming when I engage with OCD. But not being able to read other peoples stories would be avoidance.

Edited April 2, 2019 by OCDhavenobrain

[Guest OCDhavenobrain]

I was out it relieved it a little bit. But I mean I still feel sick, if not for me using the paper so for me testing. Also did some test with milk on plastic but didnt leave those thick layers, it was white and so but not as thick and strong. 

Sickening.

Reason I mentioned the bit about hygiene and such is so you don't just assume he is the everyday guy.

[Hal]

I’m glad you got a break from it by going out this afternoon, it’s going to take time though for the feelings to subside but I promise you they will, so long as you don’t keep going down the old well worn compulsion route which is what you’ve fallen back into. 

You really shouldn’t have googled alternatives for what the substance might be, or tested out what dried milk looks like, they’re both pretty hefty compulsions, alongside the ruminating. Even at the best of times it’s very difficult ignoring the false alarm blaring away, but being stressed lately and having a bad night’s sleep are definitely going to make it harder not to get drawn back in...but the sooner you decide to leave this alone now the less likely it is to stick around.

I know you have some doubts this is OCD, but I assure it is...someone lucky enough not to struggle with the disorder probably wouldn’t even have noticed the mark and if they did they’d have done what they needed to do, washed their hands and possibly thought well, we all have different  standards of hygiene but it’s no big deal in the scheme of things and got on with their day.

That’s what you need to do in spite of the thoughts and doubts, it’s the only way through this that will work and help you.

[Guest OCDhavenobrain]

I have a hard time shaking off the obsession about this fluid and also with how one should react normally because everybody thinks it is gross. 

Something happened today. I will not tell what. 

I just wonder about this "what a normal person would do". I mean we don't want to make up some kind of rulebook of every possible situation.

Edited April 21, 2019 by OCDhavenobrain

[Guest OCDhavenobrain]

A possible solution is to not worry at all. Which some people suggest. I guess that is a possibility.

[dksea]

8 hours ago, OCDhavenobrain said:

I just wonder about this "what a normal person would do". I mean we don't want to make up some kind of rulebook of every possible situation.

It would definitely be impractical to write up a rulebook for how to react for every possible situation, thats true, but if the goal is to break free from OCD it IS important and necessary to establish a more "normal" response pattern to the situations we deal with involving our obsessions.  Keep in mind, we won't necessarily feel better (especially at first) doing things the "normal" way.  After all, if we did, we'd just do that in the first place.  The goal is to learn that behavior, the normal behavior as our default response.  What non-OCD people do by default, we have to train ourselves to do, so at first it won't feel natural, thats the whole point.  But its necessary.

[dksea]

8 hours ago, OCDhavenobrain said:

I have a hard time shaking off the obsession about this fluid and also with how one should react normally because everybody thinks it is gross. 

There is a cognitive distortion going on here that I think you should focus on. 

"everybody thinks its gross" - OK, this seems reasonable.  Most people would regard bodily fluids, particularly waste fluids as gross.  

"I have a hard time shaking off the obsession" - Now does this seem reasonable?  Do you REALLY believe that most people would still be obsessing about this situation 2-3 weeks later?

You are falsely connecting the immediate reaction with the long term behavior.  You are allowing yourself to justify the OCD behavior using the ick factor that people would genuinely feel.

You were in a situation that was less than sanitary and at the time made you feel uncomfortable having to deal with it.  That is a reasonable response.
You are still obsessing over something unpleasant but relatively minor two weeks later.  Thats not a reasonable response. 
 

8 hours ago, OCDhavenobrain said:

A possible solution is to not worry at all.

Exactly, you don't have to "solve" this, you don't have to analyze it, or ruminate on it.  You can absolutely just get on with your life.  When you start to ruminate on this, give yourself permission to move on.

[paradoxer]

OCDhaveno,  I  can see this has shaken you up. As has been alluded to, it's pretty clear that your reaction is overwrought because of the disorder. You know what to do my friend, move on. 

[Guest OCDhavenobrain]

It was a new event this time involving washing and my clothes. Someone else washed my clothes even if I said no multiple times. But that is the problem I am having, knowing how to react to things normally. 

I do think that I will go with the "don't worrry at all- approach" because yea it is really hard for me to know what "normal" means. New situations will come up all the time. Because we are not having that filter , therefore extreme is a possible solution

I do appreciate all the answers

 

The event was some clothes I had put away because of a nighlty incident and I said like 10 times not to touch the bag of clothes and my releative did.. So i was pretty mad yesterday. Never being listen on bo matter how many times I say something. So a new event but same feelings and thoughts. Gross, incest and damaging. I think in general terms how I need to approach sticky events. 

So now did I actually write it out which was a setback but I just wanted to clearify. 

Edited April 22, 2019 by OCDhavenobrain