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don't know

Am I in denial? - Fraud (Merged Thread)

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I need to know. Every time I come across something that involves incest, strangers, etc. I feel like I get aroused. I don't want to act on these things but I'm not sure. Wouldn't someone in denial have these feelings? I need to know. I'm not sure of who I am.

i don't know what's real. 

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25 minutes ago, don't know said:

I need to know.

Which is why you should consult a specialist & be open & upfront!

Also, can I ask why you keep starting new threads & seemingly ignore replies that you have been given?

 

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If I said to you 'Whatever you do, DO NOT think of a purple octopus. You must not think about it at all. Ever.' do you think you could comply with that request with ease? (Or at all?) I imagine the first thing that would pop into your head would be an image of a purple octopus 🐙

It's not surprising you feel aroused when exposed to things you're telling yourself you must absolutely not feel aroused by. I've had the same kind of thing frequently. It's really unsettling but it doesn't necessarily mean anything.

Do you understand that if we were to engage in these ruminations with you (like trying to reassure you, going over the 'proof' with you, etc etc) we would only be helping to strengthen the hold OCD has over you? We can't give you the answer to who you are or solve anything for you (however much we may want to). As felix4 said above, you have the option of seeking professional support. 

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With this thread, you are asking for reassurance. All told, you have been told 100 times that you are suffering from OCD. 100 times you have said it's not OCD. Now you're back asking what it is.

This is doing you no good. We have told you time and time again what to do but you go right back to your old ways.

Keep doing the same old thing and you'll keep getting the same result.

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I literally came across it and I immediately felt it. I feel like people on this forum think I'm a freak because of this. I hate it so much - but people who genuinely like these thoughts are probably freaked out at first too. Maybe I have to get used to it. Also it must mean something. 

I feel like I need answers though because it's years and years of going through this. I'm just frustrated all the time - if it's not this then it'll be my emotions etc. I'll try and leave it but it keeps coming back.

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I guarantee things will only get worse as time goes in, if you leave this untreated. Cold, hard fact.

Reality check: you keep reacting to the thoughts in the same way but your situation doesn't improve. Been that way for years. Maybe it's time to try something different.

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What do I do? I don't want to go and see someone about it because I've done it before and it's really not helped at all. 

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Before you fo anything you could entertain the notion that we really know what we're talking about, we aren't just blabbing for the hell of it, and we really do believe that ALL of your symptoms can be explained by OCD.

You are so sure it can't be OCD. You fight us at every turn. Yet you keep coming back here. 

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It does feel like denial at this point. I probably come here to make sure I'm not into these things or that my emotions aren't fake etc. 

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Well it's time for the reassurance to end. We've given you enough. At the rate you're going, this will go on for years. It will be a waste of time for you and us.

Time to make a decision. Start treating this as OCD or stay stuck. That's your choices.

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1 hour ago, don't know said:

What do I do? I don't want to go and see someone about it because I've done it before and it's really not helped at all. 

But DK, you said before that you didn't really tell the therapist about this specific problem. How are they supposed to help you if you aren't open about your biggest problem? 

I understand that you're confused but you keep asking for advice and then you either completely ignore or argue against every bit of advice you get.

It seems like you don't really allow anyone to help you. Instead you just listen to every single thing your feelings and fears are telling you. Feelings can be very misleading, especially when you have a mental health problem. 

 

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I'm just tired. I ended up feeling some emotions again, but then I felt anxiety over them and they are gone. I was also reading some things related to my fears and my feelings are still gone. I feel like I've faked them. I'm not sure. I miss them. 

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4 minutes ago, don't know said:

I'm just tired. I ended up feeling some emotions again, but then I felt anxiety over them and they are gone. I was also reading some things related to my fears and my feelings are still gone. I feel like I've faked them. I'm not sure. I miss them. 

Can I ask you something - why do you think that literally every person on this forum tells you that this is OCD?

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'Within the question lies the answer' - the fact that you're asking this question - repeatedly, on an OCD forum, no less, gives you the answer. 

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12 minutes ago, don't know said:

Because I'm on an OCD forum

So do you think we just think every single problem a person has is due to OCD?

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Are you in denial? Yes I believe you are, but not about being a sexual deviant/monster, I believe you are in denial that your problems are OCD.

I do not believe your problems are OCD because you are posting them on an OCD forum, I believe your problems are OCD because they fit the well established pattern of behavior for someone with OCD.  I believe they are OCD because I've experience the same patterns of thought/behavior (though not necessarily the same topic of worry) myself.  I believe they are OCD because I've seen people act just like you are, doubting that its OCD, asserting that it must be something else and that OCD can't possibly explain it for reasons X, Y, and Z (even though X, Y and Z are all reasons why it actually IS probably OCD), only to ultimately admit, oh yeah it was OCD all along.  I continue to hope that you will let us help you, that you will choose to accept what we are telling you even though you continue to feel doubt.  But like many problems in life, until you are willing to admit it to yourself, there is not much we can do for you.

 

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I give up. I'm tired and I'm just going to give in to it. I feel miserable sure but maybe I'm going through that five stages of grief thing. Actually saying that I'm giving up gave me some relief. Some people said it took them a while to get used to their desires, that's probably me. They also said that society brainwashed them into thinking they were 'normal' that's probably me as well. 

Edited by don't know

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29 minutes ago, don't know said:

I give up. I'm tired and I'm just going to give in to it. I feel miserable sure but maybe I'm going through that five stages of grief thing. Actually saying that I'm giving up gave me some relief. Some people said it took them a while to get used to their desires, that's probably me. They also said that society brainwashed them into thinking they were 'normal' that's probably me as well. 

Oh DK, I really really do feel for you. You seem to be very young. I think at this point, you only see the world through the lens of your emotions and completely ignore logic. I think it's absolutely possible to get better and feel happy again, but you have to be the one to make the decision to follow common sense and take the right steps. I really, truly hope that this is something is you eventually do. 

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You know the sad part is that you would probably been better off if you had "accepted it" the first times you wrote that. 

No , but this is doing you no good. Do you have a plan?

Edited by OCDhavenobrain

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The only thing is that logically if I'm having these thoughts and the things that used to bring me happiness make me feel ill and anxious. I think that's a sign that maybe I'm not the person I thought I was. 

I don't have a plan. 

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DK, have you been able to share this with someone you feel you can trust? Or are you taking it all on on your own?

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