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Existential crisis


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Hi Bruces, 

This counts as rumination really. I do it too. I think the best way to deal with it is to postpone the rumination- e.g. think to yourself 'I will ruminate for one hour at 9pm'  and then every time a 'what if' thought comes into your head, you decide to wait until 9pm before you will think about it. Then get on with activities, hobbies etc. 

 

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These are unanswerable questions.  What you should do, the way out of it, is to stop trying to answer them.  You may feel like you "have" to, but the reality is you don't.  You can absolutely live your life and never once consider the existentialist side of things.

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The existential side of things has come about fairly recently and I must say is probably the worst form of ocd I have experienced,at least my checking compulsions were limited to a certain part of my life but this has become all consuming.

now I’m in the throes of existentialism I feel there isn’t any real purpose in anything so I n I get get anything out of what I do,it’s almoat like I’m bored 24/7 

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12 minutes ago, bruces said:

I feel there isn’t any real purpose in anything

Whether or not there is purpose is something you choose to believe or not.  If you want to believe in a purpose then you have to make that choice.  Its all up to you.

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23 hours ago, bruces said:

Still struggling badly with this,the whys the what ifs etc,what could I have done differently in my life etc,has anybody found a way out of this? 

The way out is that there is no way out, (and the 'miracle'?) there's doesn't need to be. 

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36 minutes ago, bruces said:

I keep thinking to myself what could I have done different with my life? what kind of person could I have been?

You can not change what happened.  No amount of thinking about the past will change the past.  The good parts, the bad parts, and everything in between is over.  Thats it. Its carved in stone.  All you can do is choose how to live the rest of your life.  Some fo what happens is beyond your control, but a lot is within your control.  Make the choices you want to make that you think have the best chance of leading to the kind of life you want to live.  While there is SOME value in considering your past to learn from it, you can't change it.  Time to move on.

 

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Could you just change it: 

What could I do differently with my life NOW? 

What kind of person can I work towards being?

What can I do to give my life meaning? 

Sure you're not 20 but you still have years to live and enjoy life. Or you could waste the next 10 years on this.

 

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Your post and this thread are a repeat of numerous other threads of yours. You regret the decisions that you are taken in the past. In decision science it is called post decisional regret. Rather than learning from your past you repeat your behaviour. All the responses have been voiced before. To respond any further would be a compulsion.

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