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not doing good at all.


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my little sister seems to be hyperactive and this, besides putting me on my nerves, also triggers my OCD because she's all the time moving, i gotta look at her body to check if i like it or because i felt that i had to look or because i think i might like what i see and then this happens and im trapped in a loop... her jeans were loose and i looked at her butt and it was showing a bit and omg... when she was playing with the dog, he was on top of her and i was having thoughts, then about having sex with her in a really ****** up way and i was enjoying it but at the same time freaking out i guess these feelings and thoughts are all produced by OCD but what can i do to stop looking at her it's not okay to do such a thing... i feel like a pervert when im compelled to look at her butt when she is petting the dog and she's on her knees and her butt shows a bit bc her pants are loose and go down a bit i dont know how to explain this im sorry but can i get some thoughts about this? should i feel bad for looking at her butt and stuff when im feeling compelled to do so like... if i look to check its okay bc its due to the OCD but when i wanna look and i do it and then i feel that i liked it and then im like feeling horrible... i just cant 

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You've got to stop this cycle, lily. You get intrusive thoughts, you do compulsions, including coming here, confessing and expecting reassurance from us.

Keep doing the same thing and you'll keep grtting the same result.

Edited by PolarBear
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15 minutes ago, PolarBear said:

You've got to stop this cycle, lily. You get intrusive thoughts, you do compulsions, including coming here, confessing and expecting reassurance from us.

Keep doing the same thing and you'll keep grtting the same result.

PolarBear im just not doing okay these days i need a little push, to be reminded of who i really am.. :'(

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Guest OCDhavenobrain
57 minutes ago, lily17 said:

PolarBear im just not doing okay these days i need a little push, to be reminded of who i really am.. :'(

We cant know

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I don't want to end up being a reassurance but I am having the exact same issue and seeing the response to you Lily has made me feel a lot better! I've tried so hard not to give in and check the forums but i have and of course I feel reassured but  i know it is only temporary - we have to be strong and not give in!! 

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14 hours ago, lily17 said:

im trapped in a loop

Yes, unfortunately you are.  In order to break out of that loop you have to start making some changes, or you'll remain trapped.
 

14 hours ago, lily17 said:

i gotta look at her body to check if i like it or because i felt that i had to look or because i think i might like what i see and then this happens and im trapped in a loop

Right now you are at a point where you have trained your brain to filter every thought or action through the lens of sexuality and sexual attraction so of course you are going to keep having sexual themed thoughts.  Its like putting on glasses with colored lenses, suddenly everything you see is tinted with that color.  But thats not the REAL color, the REAL color hasn't changed, just your perception of it has.

If you want to recover you have to take off the glasses.  Unfortunately its not as simple as when you do the same with real glasses.  In the case of OCD you have to put time and effort in to changing that perception.  The difficult part is you also have to accept that, for now at least, you are still going to get these intrusive thoughts.  One key point to understand is that for awhile at least you will continue to have these unwanted thoughts, but that does not mean the RISK you feel associated with them is real.  A thought is just a thought, your actions are under your control.

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16 minutes ago, dksea said:

 One key point to understand is that for awhile at least you will continue to have these unwanted thoughts, but that does not mean the RISK you feel associated with them is real.  A thought is just a thought ...

dksea, it looks like lily's just succeeded in getting the drug she sought (namely reassurance). I know your response is only well intentioned, but here's my proverbial ... she's had a never ending contribution of cognitive-insight thrown her way e.g 'a thought is just a thought'. She also has to learn to accept (as unlikely or absurd as it may be) that her fears might be valid, that the risk might be true - and roll with that.

Edited by paradoxer
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3 minutes ago, paradoxer said:

dksea, it looks like lily's just succeeded in getting the drug she sought (namely reassurance). I know your response is only well intentioned, but here's my proverbial ... she's had a never ending contribution of cognitive-insight thrown her way e.g 'a thought is just a thought'.

There is a difference between reassurance about the intrusive thought and guidance and encouragement to try and change ones behavior.  If you do not wish to engage with Lily (or any other poster) I respect that, but please respect my right and ability to respond in a way that I feel might be helpful.  

 

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2 minutes ago, dksea said:

There is a difference between reassurance about the intrusive thought and guidance and encouragement to try and change ones behavior.  If you do not wish to engage with Lily (or any other poster) I respect that, but please respect my right and ability to respond in a way that I feel might be helpful.  

 

Absolutely, just my 2 cents. It's an open forum, I think it's useful to kick these things around. Yes, there certainly is a difference between reassurance about the thoughts, and techniques involved. It, I think can be a tricky balance. If Lily were posting for the first few times, I think more largess would be appropriate. Anyway, wishing you the best.  

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Guest OCDhavenobrain

It is all reassurance at this point. When one have been told somethin (got reeassured) so many times and even told that we can't give reassurance, the person knows that even the smallest hint of it is in fact reassurance. 

The lose troubling in this case is the extreme inclination to not attack OCD when Lily is feeling anything than panic.

OCD sufferers say about anything when they are panicking and who wouldn't? 

However it is like dksea says, we are all free to write whatever we like as long as it is allowed. Also people here are very keen on helping others and here are just so many who writes here. 

Edited by OCDhavenobrain
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