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ocdsufferer85

Can a testing compulsion....

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Feel like an urge or a dare to get close to your fear?

or that in the moment it's happening you are being careless? 

How do we know if it's a testing compulsion or not?

 

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Hello there (nice cat pic :)

When you say testing a compulsion what do you mean by that?  Do you mean facing your fear/worry trigger without doing a compulsion?

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You're still going back to that one moment, trying to figure it out. 

Don't get sucked into this. No good has ever come from you doing this.

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6 hours ago, Ashley said:

Hello there (nice cat pic :)

When you say testing a compulsion what do you mean by that?  Do you mean facing your fear/worry trigger without doing a compulsion?

As in if I feel like I could act or was about to act, or test myself to see if I would act - is this a 'testing' compulsion

And if so...can it feel like you're acting out, like you want to act on an urge or a dare?

:(

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I just don't understand why I reacted that way, if I'm so afraid of it why see if I would, all its done is make me feel like I've tried to do wrong.

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2 minutes ago, ocdsufferer85 said:

As in if I feel like I could act or was about to act, or test myself to see if I would act - is this a 'testing' compulsion

And if so...can it feel like you're acting out, like you want to act on an urge or a dare?

:(

Yes I think that would be a compulsion, and we know that no good ever came from a single, solitary OCD compulsion :)     

 

2 minutes ago, ocdsufferer85 said:

I just don't understand why I reacted that way, if I'm so afraid of it why see if I would, all its done is make me feel like I've tried to do wrong.

Acting in what way?  We can't help if you don't give an example of what you mean. 

 

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Oh it's because it's what all my other posts are about :(

worried I tried to say something I feared saying, a bad intrusive thought based on religion, but it's a big fear because I really don't wanna say it or even have the thought in my head.

I fear that I got sloppy...that the moment I felt sure I wouldn't speak I found myself testing if it was possible to speak under my breath...a literal exhale...(sounds insane)

my obsession is "what if I spoke a thought under my breath"

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This is doing you no good. We've been over this countless times. You have been going over that one moment, in your head, for years and years. And it's never gotten you anywhere. You just keep going round and round. So why keep doing it?

Also, as noted countless times, this is all based on an irrational fear. The only way you are going to get past this is to stop your compulsions and start saying those dreaded words, out loud, several times a day, for months.

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5 hours ago, ocdsufferer85 said:

worried I tried to say something I feared saying, a bad intrusive thought based on religion, but it's a big fear because I really don't wanna say it or even have the thought in my head.

The trouble is OS, the more you PUSH the thoughts away, the stronger they get, and then new stronger doubts creep in, such as "did I just utter those words"? 

You need to 'back out of this' by resisting both reassurance seeking and testing. Given time, you'll probably then have more clarity on how OCD and CBT work, and be able to carry out ERP without so much anxiety.

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