avoiding compulsions

[vivi_x]

hi guys,

I have been trying my best not to give in to compulsions but have found that quite often I am just replacing one compulsion with another. has anyone else found this? I'm relay trying to get better but it seems every step forward results in 2 steps back. one example of where I have found this is when trying to not ask for reassurance I go over things in my head obsessively. is one better than the other?

vi

[Guest OCDhavenobrain]

That is just the normal route for OCD. Your task is to not engage in the new omed neither. I wouldn't call it avoidance. Avoidance is when you skip to do things because you fear something.

[malina]

4 hours ago, vivi_x said:

hi guys,

I have been trying my best not to give in to compulsions but have found that quite often I am just replacing one compulsion with another. has anyone else found this? I'm relay trying to get better but it seems every step forward results in 2 steps back. one example of where I have found this is when trying to not ask for reassurance I go over things in my head obsessively. is one better than the other?

vi

I am going through this too. Also, when I learn to manage compulsions for one theme, a new one comes up and i realise that I am doing all of the compulsions again! It’s frustrating but I think that you have made the first step in realising this. I don’t think that one is better than the other, but we can only tackle so much at one time. I think that with more practice you’ll become more aware of your compulsions and better able at reducing all of them. 

[leif]

20 hours ago, vivi_x said:

one example of where I have found this is when trying to not ask for reassurance I go over things in my head obsessively.

Yes I've noticed this with me too. I do reassurance seeking big time so trying not to do that but then may end up trying to 'work it out' in my own head for a long time!

It still seems like  a step in the right direction for me for a few reasons.

1. I'm involving my family less often which seems more fair and less stressful to them
2. I'm learning slowly to trust my own judgement even if I am way overthinking things presently
3. I do find I am starting to trust myself more quickly on things over time

I seem to remember a part in one of my cbt books about modifying compulsions. So instead of cutting ones right out right away, we may lessen the amount of times we do it, or do ones that make us feel less sure and a little anxious. So for me, when I ask for reassurance, that helps me to feel better really quickly in the short term. When I rely on my own judgement I tend to get anxious that I'm making the wrong decision. So that for me does feel like a step forward as I am learning to tolerate the anxiety and uncertainty, even if I am still doing a compulsion of rumination.

So I guess when we are replacing compulsions with other compulsions maybe we can assess what direction its really taking us in. If its just a different compulsion that's not taking us towards recovery, then that's no better; but if it is taking us toward removing compulsions altogether in the long-term that may be all right.

Just my opinion of course!

[Guest OCDhavenobrain]

Going over things in our head is really bad. A mod (I think it was Hal) said that this is one thing which is really rooted because we have had it a long time but that DOESN'T mean that it is how we should do, it just means that we have done it a looong time. 

Going over things in our head is really bad because it can spiral really quickly, because you don't even have something in the outside world to trigger it. A constant flow of triggers and compulsions

[leif]

3 hours ago, OCDhavenobrain said:

Going over things in our head is really bad. A mod (I think it was Hal) said that this is one thing which is really rooted because we have had it a long time but that DOESN'T mean that it is how we should do, it just means that we have done it a looong time. 

Going over things in our head is really bad because it can spiral really quickly, because you don't even have something in the outside world to trigger it. A constant flow of triggers and compulsions

Definitely yes I agree. I would not have it as a goal to just switch compulsions from reassurance seeking to rumination...I was just trying to say that sometimes a switch or a modification in compulsion might be a positive thing if you can see it taking you in the right direction. So if the rumination became just the same as the reassurance seeking, then of course that's no better, but for me I'm using it as a stepping stone toward no compulsions (I hope!)

My goal, of course, is not to ruminate or worry, but that is what i do automatically when i don't ask for reassurance. I do my best not to ruminate, but it is more automatic.

As i mentioned though, i do find I'm already ruminating less and trusting my own judgement more often so that's a sign to me that it's taking me in the right direction.

I should add that this is all while cutting out other compulsions around washing/cleaning. So before where my pattern would be--feel contaminated and then wash and clean and/or ask for reassurance, I now aim for--feel contaminated, don't wash/clean, don't ask for reassurance...so then i do end up ruminating about it, but as i say that is getting less as I'm resisting other compulsions around the feeling of contamination.

Edited April 30, 2019 by leif