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freya196

Having a breakdown

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Im back at my lowest point currently.

I look at myself in disgust and no longer want to go out in public. I'm disgusted and horrified by the way I look and no longer find anything remotely attractive about my appearance. I hate myself and my self confidence is at its worst.

My OCD has flared up once more and exams are less than 3 weeks to go. I'm not sure what i'm supposed to do, I'm so fat and ugly and my OCD certainly doesn't help. 

What am i supposed to do to help my self confidence?

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How would you advise a close friend if they came to you for help with same problem as yours? What would you say to them? Can you apply the same advice to yourself? 

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Hi freya, 

Sorry to hear you're having a tough time, exam time can be hard enough without other problems. I had severe OCD during my final university exams, a nightmare, but i coped and so can you. 

Do you have body dysmorphic disorder as well as OCD? It justs sounds a lot like it. Either way the therapy is the same. Are you getting any support? Are you currently seeing a therapist?

It sounds likely that you're doing a lot of compulsions around the way you look, and these could be either caused by an increase in OCD symptoms, or it could be the other way round. These compulsions will focus your attention on any 'flaws' you think you have, building your belief that you are ugly in some way. It's really about reducing any compulsions, that will change how you feel in the long term. This would be best done with support of a therapist or at least a friend or family member. 

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Hi Freya,

I'm sorry you're feeling so low.

20 minutes ago, freya196 said:

My OCD has flared up once more and exams are less than 3 weeks to go.

If it's of any consolation, I too used to find that my OCD was getting worse during exams. My guess is that your OCD will decrease again as soon as exams are finished. Stressful situations tend to worsen OCD.

As for your low self esteem, I would also guess that this too will improve together with your OCD when your workload is back to normal. I really hope it's a temporary situation that has just worsen due to the stress associated with the upcoming  exams. (If the low self esteem persists, perhaps there's some underlying depression on top of OCD? Don't know, just something for you to consider.)

I hope you feel better soon.

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It’s a flare up. Things will improve.

Are you taking A levels or BTEC or are you at university? It might all be caused by exam stress. If at university book a session with the counselling unit. If at school or college talk to a teacher with whom you have rapport.

Also see you GP again. You were on medication but you came off them in March. Did you go back on them?  In the medium term get your GP to refer you for some CBT

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3 hours ago, Angst said:

It’s a flare up. Things will improve.

Are you taking A levels or BTEC or are you at university? It might all be caused by exam stress. If at university book a session with the counselling unit. If at school or college talk to a teacher with whom you have rapport.

Also see you GP again. You were on medication but you came off them in March. Did you go back on them?  In the medium term get your GP to refer you for some CBT

I'm doing my A levels, I have some major stress as I need to get 3 As and i'm finding it impossible especially combined with all these issues. I need to go back to my doctor and start therapy for so many issues! 

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3 hours ago, margarita! said:

Hi Freya,

I'm sorry you're feeling so low.

If it's of any consolation, I too used to find that my OCD was getting worse during exams. My guess is that your OCD will decrease again as soon as exams are finished. Stressful situations tend to worsen OCD.

As for your low self esteem, I would also guess that this too will improve together with your OCD when your workload is back to normal. I really hope it's a temporary situation that has just worsen due to the stress associated with the upcoming  exams. (If the low self esteem persists, perhaps there's some underlying depression on top of OCD? Don't know, just something for you to consider.)

I hope you feel better soon.

My self-esteem is always low but it's certainly not good at this moment in time, it is probably an underlying issue which is combined in a crippling fear of intimacy!! I should probably get some help lol

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