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Massively triggered having just read the exact story that matches my fear... Please help :(


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The title says it all. 

Having a coffee scrolling through Facebook and various news articles are always popping up. Think this was from the mirror paper. I have not been seeking out these articles, I just follow some online news sites and actually this was shared by a Facebook friend. 

A guy has been charged with being extremely intoxicated and mistaking a minor for an adult. It shows me my fear isn't irrational at all. Please help. 

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So that happened, you came across a story which loosely fits your fear. 

We all do, that's how this illness works. We come across things that our brain focuses in on and - if you remember in my case with a personalising to the news issue - our mind says "that could be you". 

Believe it, connect with that intrusion, and you get triggered, disorder (anxiety) forms, catastrophic thinking and carrying out compulsions follows. 

OR 

You can just observe it, note it as a potential trigger, not believe it not connect with it, and gently but firmly refocus away. 

Which is what I now do on those, now rare because of this strategy, occasions when such an intrusion occurs. 

That's what to do Saz. 

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8 hours ago, OCDhavenobrain said:

That is not how it works.

How does it work? X

8 hours ago, gingerbreadgirl said:

So you have been triggered - what should you do? 

Not sure gbg, it just intensifies everything to do with it though. X

8 hours ago, taurean said:

So that happened, you came across a story which loosely fits your fear. 

We all do, that's how this illness works. We come across things that our brain focuses in on and - if you remember in my case with a personalising to the news issue - our mind says "that could be you". 

Believe it, connect with that intrusion, and you get triggered, disorder (anxiety) forms, catastrophic thinking and carrying out compulsions follows. 

OR 

You can just observe it, note it as a potential trigger, not believe it not connect with it, and gently but firmly refocus away. 

Which is what I now do on those, now rare because of this strategy, occasions when such an intrusion occurs. 

That's what to do Saz. 

Tried to ignore it bit it's still there Roy x

8 hours ago, paradoxer said:

IF you have OCD, life is itself a trigger. Triggers will come and they will go. Seeing the trigger as the problem is misguided. The problem is your reaction to them.   

IF I have ocd... That's my worry too, what If I don't :( x

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Guest OCDhavenobrain
4 minutes ago, Saz said:

How does it work? X

Not sure gbg, it just intensifies everything to do with it though. X

Tried to ignore it bit it's still there Roy x

IF I have ocd... That's my worry too, what If I don't :( x

First: The thoughts will be there. Stop trying to elininate the thoughts. Do not argue with the thought.

The way it works is not that you read something and you suddenly realize what you are and have done. But the final goal must be to be able to read it, get thoughts and move on. 

Edited by OCDhavenobrain
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Hi Saz,

I think that most themes in OCD are based on something that exists in real life. Germs, harm, whatever, these are real things. It’s just that our mind exaggerates their threat. So what if someone else has done the thing you’re afraid of? Other people have done the thing you fear too. I know for a fact that many people have done the thing I’m afraid of too. It doesn’t say anything about you, just because someone else did it does not mean that you did. You just have to treat it as any other unpleasant news story, focus your attention away from it and onto more important things.

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I was massively triggered yesterday by an article I read about prison. I got really caught up in it even though I haven't had that theme for a while. So I know what it can do. But I literally grit my teeth and stubbornly moved away from thinking about it even though it felt so so wrong. It feels like manually grabbing the steering wheel and driving in the wrong direction but you have to do it. And now my anxiety about it has faded. You must expect these triggers but don't connect with them, don't interpret the anxiety as meaning anything. 

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And we have to keep going, despite any hiccups, on a gradual upward curve of doing this, until the power of the intrusions - and their frequency of popping up - fade, and we are regaining control. 

When we reach that state we won't even make a connection with the trigger, and can simply just ease it away and get on with our lives. 

We have to fight for this situation. It won't happen, doesn't happen, straight away - it's a gradual gain process. 

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16 minutes ago, taurean said:

And we have to keep going, despite any hiccups, on a gradual upward curve of doing this, until the power of the intrusions - and their frequency of popping up - fade, and we are regaining control. 

When we reach that state we won't even make a connection with the trigger, and can simply just ease it away and get on with our lives. 

We have to fight for this situation. It won't happen, doesn't happen, straight away - it's a gradual gain process. 

Great advice here saz :) 

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Hi Saz. Take the advice about refocusing away from triggering newspaper articles and Facebook posts. Oh and don’t look at the comments below the trigger posts because that would be a ‘making sure’ compulsion. I know this because I used to worry I was a potential serial killer. What a lovely obsession that was, but it felt legit at the time. There were triggers everywhere and news posts were some of the worst triggers. 

Just saying bye for now. Replies on my thread have really upset me inside. It has sort of highlighted my inadequacies which makes me sad. I will be off the forums for a while but I just wanted to say hi and bye for now. Tried to message you this but posting it here now.

stay strong xx

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On 01/05/2019 at 08:07, Saz said:

How does it work? X

Not sure gbg, it just intensifies everything to do with it though. X

Tried to ignore it bit it's still there Roy x

IF I have ocd... That's my worry too, what If I don't :( x

As long as you react your brain is going to be anxious whether you have OCD or not.  It’s our survival system. 

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7 hours ago, Handy said:

As long as you react your brain is going to be anxious whether you have OCD or not.  It’s our survival system. 

Well if I don't have ocd I'm in trouble

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Hi darling - I know, I get it. I made the mistake tonight of looking up some religious theology and now am in a bit of a state myself; wondering if I need to get on my knees and repent and change everything about myself. Definitely been triggered in my own way and trying not to panic; wondering if it's real or imaginary. 

We've all got your back; we've all been there; we all empathise. We'll get you through this. :hug: Just remember - if it feels like OCD, it probably is. 

C x

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On 01/05/2019 at 16:43, gingerbreadgirl said:

I was massively triggered yesterday by an article I read about prison. I got really caught up in it even though I haven't had that theme for a while. So I know what it can do. But I literally grit my teeth and stubbornly moved away from thinking about it even though it felt so so wrong. It feels like manually grabbing the steering wheel and driving in the wrong direction but you have to do it. And now my anxiety about it has faded. You must expect these triggers but don't connect with them, don't interpret the anxiety as meaning anything. 

Sorry for late reply. Glad you were able to move away from that trigger gbg. It is that feeling that it's wrong to move away from it, like we are forcing ourselves. I can manage to do that a lot better than I did in the past but then it comes back to me and I feel I've been trying to bury something very real. X

On 01/05/2019 at 17:02, taurean said:

And we have to keep going, despite any hiccups, on a gradual upward curve of doing this, until the power of the intrusions - and their frequency of popping up - fade, and we are regaining control. 

When we reach that state we won't even make a connection with the trigger, and can simply just ease it away and get on with our lives. 

We have to fight for this situation. It won't happen, doesn't happen, straight away - it's a gradual gain process. 

Thank you Roy. Just feel like I've been dealing with this for so long now, surely I should have gotten a tight grip on it by now x

On 01/05/2019 at 16:12, malina said:

Hi Saz,

I think that most themes in OCD are based on something that exists in real life. Germs, harm, whatever, these are real things. It’s just that our mind exaggerates their threat. So what if someone else has done the thing you’re afraid of? Other people have done the thing you fear too. I know for a fact that many people have done the thing I’m afraid of too. It doesn’t say anything about you, just because someone else did it does not mean that you did. You just have to treat it as any other unpleasant news story, focus your attention away from it and onto more important things.

Yes that's very true Malina. My horrific fear has happened, I think that may be why I thought of it to begin with... Knowing that it has happened... Wondering/imagining if I could have done that... Then bam! Image and scenario appear :(But I'll never truly know and I can't live like this even thinking it could have, what if I ruined someone's life.... The evidence points to me not but still it's so hard as the feeling it produces overtakes everything. I'm better than I was believe it or not x

12 hours ago, Cub said:

Hi darling - I know, I get it. I made the mistake tonight of looking up some religious theology and now am in a bit of a state myself; wondering if I need to get on my knees and repent and change everything about myself. Definitely been triggered in my own way and trying not to panic; wondering if it's real or imaginary. 

We've all got your back; we've all been there; we all empathise. We'll get you through this. :hug: Just remember - if it feels like OCD, it probably is. 

C x

Thanks Cub that's so sweet thank you. So bloody hard isn't it! Is it real, have I imagined it.. Etc etc.. So exhausting and distressing. Hope you are ok x

On 02/05/2019 at 00:25, Orwell1984 said:

Hi Saz. Take the advice about refocusing away from triggering newspaper articles and Facebook posts. Oh and don’t look at the comments below the trigger posts because that would be a ‘making sure’ compulsion. I know this because I used to worry I was a potential serial killer. What a lovely obsession that was, but it felt legit at the time. There were triggers everywhere and news posts were some of the worst triggers. 

Just saying bye for now. Replies on my thread have really upset me inside. It has sort of highlighted my inadequacies which makes me sad. I will be off the forums for a while but I just wanted to say hi and bye for now. Tried to message you this but posting it here now.

stay strong xx

Orwell...ahhh no don't go, hope you are ok... Sorry you feel you have to go... I messaged you. My messages were full, had no idea as don't use them much at all. Take time out of you need it, we will always be here when you are ready. Thanks for all your help. X

Thanks everyone for all your replies, you are great forum friends and hope you are all doing OK xxx

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On 01/05/2019 at 16:12, OCDhavenobrain said:

First: The thoughts will be there. Stop trying to elininate the thoughts. Do not argue with the thought.

The way it works is not that you read something and you suddenly realize what you are and have done. But the final goal must be to be able to read it, get thoughts and move on. 

Thanks, I'll try my best to take your good advice. Just to clarify I didn't read something that started off this false memory... I thought of it after a night out when in a complete state of anxiety. Just but not sure if made it up or not ? x

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Guest OCDhavenobrain
1 hour ago, Saz said:

Thanks, I'll try my best to take your good advice. Just to clarify I didn't read something that started off this false memory... I thought of it after a night out when in a complete state of anxiety. Just but not sure if made it up or not ? x

I know right. The anxiety is what we all are struggle with and the reason we have this.

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On 06/05/2019 at 18:22, Saz said:

My horrific fear has happened, I think that may be why I thought of it to begin with... Knowing that it has happened... Wondering/imagining if I could have done that... Then bam! Image and scenario appear :(

Ok, so the thing you fear is something that can happen, but thats true a lot of the time.  A little while back I struggled with fear about having a heart attack, a real situation that can really happen.  I didn't get past that intrusive thought by proving that I would/could never have a heart attack, thats impossible. Instead I worked at treating the thought for what it was, an over-exaggerated false alarm.  I had to k

 

On 06/05/2019 at 18:22, Saz said:

But I'll never truly know and I can't live like this even thinking it could have, what if I ruined someone's life....

Do you understand that you are setting up an impossible standard?  Even without OCD there would be no way to prove with absolute certainty that you never did something.  Whether its 1 in 1,000 odds or 1 in 1,000,000,000,00,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 odds there will always remain some scenario which could result in you doing/having done any number of horrible things.  Most of the time you reject such things out of hand, because the brain recognizes how unlikely they are and that its not worth worrying about.  Just because something is possibly doesn't mean its likely, and it doesn't make much sense to live your life by the worst possible outcome regardless of the liklihood.

Imagine for a moment you are at home, hanging out with your best friend.  Suddenly they collapse.  You don't know whats wrong, so you call the emergency number to send an ambulance.  You hear the sirens and then a knock at your door.  You run to the door and open it.  Seems reasonable right?  But what if its a serial killer at your door.  He comes in, and instead of saving your friend, he murders her.  Ok, so you're at the door, but now, you wait.  "What if its a serial killer".  Except NOW you are delaying getting your friend the life saving help they need.  The longer you wait, the longer you spend trying to determine who is at the door, the greater your friend is at risk.  So what should you do?  

The normal, non-OCD response is to open the door as quickly as possible.  The odds are high that the person at the door is a paramedic and you need to be as quick as possible to save your friends life.  Yes, it is technically possible that it COULD be someone/something dangerous at the door.  You have no way to be 100% sure after all.  But that will always be true. If you live your life based on worst case scenarios and rare possibilities you will remain stuck.

Now obviously that example is exaggerated and extreme, but then so is your fear.  The odds that you did something like what your intrusive fear says could maybe possible have happened, even though there is no evidence to suggest it did is JUST like believing there might be a serial killer at the door instead of the ambulance.  Just because something is technically possible doesn't mean its likely.

If you want to get past this, if you want to move on from your OCD, you have to accept that you will never be able to be 100% sure about your fear.  You say you can't live thinking that its even possible you could have done something, yet thats what you did before OCD, its what we all do everyday.  We live our lives without EVER being able to be 100% sure about the past, without being able to know completely and without question that bad things didn't happen.  OCD is demanding something that is impossible, you can spend the rest of your life trying to live up to OCD's demand, or you can give up trying to prove it, give yourself permission to move on, even though you feel doubt, even though there will always be some possibility that you did something awful, this or something else, that for one reason or another you have forgotten.  Why?  Because the odds are incredibly small and the odds you didn't are incredibly big.  Thats all you need, really.  Believe that, not the OCD.

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