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Feeeling down and a major setback , help please.


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Hello all . i have suffered with OCD since i was 12 years old.

since i got into a relationship with my partner 7 months ago , Ocd has attack our relationship . she is very supportive but it is always getting me down .

My current OCD obsession is Cheating ocd . When i go out in a social setting , i would hug some one or speak to someone and it would convince me what if  have kissed the female person and cheated on my partner .

it has happened at least once or twice a month for the past 7 months . it mostly happens when i have a drink but not to the extent of me being blackout drunk and cant remember anything  it would happen after a few which is nothing , and has also happened when i have been sober as well .

recently i went out with my friends all male , which are my best friends who i trust to go out with because they are all in a relationship to with their girlfriends . the problem was i got drunk and there are some fuzzy parts to the night i dont remember which scares me . i remember just about  some female approached me on the night and i cant remember hardly who it was and my ocd has latched on to that and has convinced me i kissed her . because i cant remember it doubts the situation more . i asked my best friend who was out on the night with me and he said nothing happeed we were about a arm length away from you , and he said if anything did happen he would of had a go at with me because his girlfriend is my girlfriends best friends so we are all close . 

but his reassurance makes me still doubt like what if they wern't looking my way when this girl approached me for whatever reason . its just scary , because all the past ones i new they were stupid , even though i asked for reasuurence , and always got the answer no , nothing happened by the feamle  over message . but because i was really drunk , and i am really ****** off i put my self in this situation , because i cant remeber some of the night for example this moment of the night its setting of all doubts and putting me in to a massive guilt and panic mode .

i hate this , i cant stop worrying .

 

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Hi Alex, 

You're going to have to let this go to feel better. Going out and then asking for reassurance is not the best strategy because OCD always manages to find a way to doubt and that's exactly what's happened in this situation. What if your friends weren't looking? etc. 

Are you having or have you had CBT for OCD? 

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  • 1 month later...

Alex I understand where your coming from as I've had similar worries.

All my worries are before this moment in time, not about the present, not about the future, but only before this moment in time.

Therefore how can we use exposure and response prevention if it's not something we can ever prove if it will come true or not? Because we are worried if it has already happened right?

And in our situation there is NEVER anyway of knowing it.....therefore it means living a life full of worry unless we can find a way of forgetting about the worry? But why would you want to forget about something so serious? 

However, I was speaking to somebody a few months ago with my mate (none of my mates know I have OCD) and we were just talking in general and my mate happened to mention that they get worried when they get home after driving that they may have gone through a red light or too quickly through a speed camera and they may get points and a fine through the post.

And they would then start to back track through the drive thinking about it trying to recall jumping any red lights of seeing any speed cameras go off and they can't and it then makes them worse with worry.

And the other person then said 'you can't remember what you haven't done....' and that really hit home with me and I said to him that sounds very psychological where did that come from and he said he did a course in phycology.....

There you have it, you can't remember what didn't happen, no matter how much you try to get the feeling that it didn't happen, your trying to disprove something that didn't happen and you can't because it didn't happen in the first place..... 

 

 

 

 

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