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Ryukil

Worried family dishes could have semen on them

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So, when I jerk off, I kind of ejaculate into my blanket because I do it on the floor. I have touched this blanket and then touched my computer, and before I have touched the computer and touched cups and dishes.

Of course, all the dishes are washed, but I have been doing this for YEARS and I never wanted to say anything because, I mean, yeah, how do you bring this up? My parents would have to throw out all of their dishes.

I feel like I need to confess and explain this to them and maybe they can get all new dishes? Is it wrong of me to not say anything? I've just been ignoring it for years because I didn't really know what to say or how to deal with it.

It's not like i've ejaculated onto dishes, just I've touched something that might have dried semen on it, then touched my computer, then touched dishes without thinking about it. Nowadays I always wash my hands after touching the computer, though.

Have I essentially been raping my family members all these years (because they're coming into contact with my semen)?

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Beside saying that Helen just because you find something triggering telling other people such opinions are pretty rude. Not the first time you do it neither.

When it comes to your fears I have to say that many of us lives with those fears Ryukil, it is just logical if you get hung up on contamination. 

Have you been in contact with the therapists?

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Hi Ryukil, please ignore any judgemental comments that have been made on this thread.

I seem to recall that you've posted similar worries in the past, also relating to semen and the idea that spreading semen onto someone is equivalent to sexual assault. How have you challenged this misconception in the past, and do you think you could do it again here?

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Let's say there is semen on the dishes. Is it morally correct to say something?

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Hey Ryukil,

it's been a while, I hope you're doing well! :) Honestly, I wouldn't say anything if I were you. Your parents may have also inadvertently touched the dishes without cleaning their hands after going to the bathroom or something like that. Honestly we have all done this. And you say that you've been doing this for years...well in this time, nobody has died from using these dishes have they? What you did is totally normal behaviour, it's the type of thing everyone does and doesn't think twice about. 

Now your worry about raping them by doing this. You have to see that this is purely OCD and completely removed from reality. Confessing would therefore be a compulsion.  

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 I have been doing this for YEARS

Seems like it's everywhere by now so you just want to confess. Confession is a  compulsion.

 

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You should know, no one here would want to you to confess because that would be a compulsion based on your intrusive thoughts of sexual assault and contamination.

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A discussion with some graphic content, which thankfully just about stayed on the right side of appropriate (thank you everyone).   It's great we have a community that can discuss such things, whilst being mindful of other users sensitivities.    

On 06/05/2019 at 00:21, Ryukil said:

I feel like I need to confess and explain this to them and maybe they can get all new dishes? Is it wrong of me to not say anything? I've just been ignoring it for years because I didn't really know what to say or how to deal with it.

It's not like i've ejaculated onto dishes, just I've touched something that might have dried semen on it, then touched my computer, then touched dishes without thinking about it. Nowadays I always wash my hands after touching the computer, though.

Have I essentially been raping my family members all these years (because they're coming into contact with my semen)?

Others have already mentioned what we think about confessing.  You would be confessing not for the benefit of your family, or even yourself, but for your OCD.  From your post, it seems OCD is making you 'believe' things, like you have somehow been raping your family, which of course is the furthest thing from reality.   I do hope that you are back under a therapist these days and can talk some of this through, I think this is a good example where the cognitive aspect of CBT really is so important.

 

 

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To keep confessing to various people is a compulsion. It may feel like the right thing to do but soon you will find it extremely difficult to not confess over this issue, and then other issues. OCD will not stop with one confession. You will have the urge repeatedly. You must resist the urge to confess.

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Obviously I don't really want to confess because that would just be awkward. 

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I feel morally obligated to confess to them - I guess I'm looking for reassurance that this isn't totally abnormal and/or the dishwasher cleans things well, etc.

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On 08/05/2019 at 19:43, Ryukil said:

Is it morally wrong to not confess?

It would be ******* weird to 'confess' - after 964 odd posts you should know better than to ask. As for 'morality', jumping to OCD's tune is if anything almost immoral. 

Edited by paradoxer

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I share paradoxer's opinion. And even worse you will regret it in the future. 

Edited by OCDhavenobrain

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Just a heads up that we have removed a few posts from this topic that are not relevant to the OCD question/discussion of the topic.  Just to be clear, this is an OCD discussion forum and people are welcome to post about any OCD related subject to seek advice and support about their OCD problems, we are not here to dictate what is acceptable and not beyond OCD.

If you have nothing helpful or relevant to comment with regards a posters OCD worries, please kindly shut up and say nothing!   The feelings that OCD creates is what unities us, even when our OCD can be so very different, so please lets all try and remember that.

 

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I confessed out of desperation, got that release of endorphins. Mom knows I have OCD, isn't worried about it, says the dishwasher does enough just in case. 

I probably only made it worse.

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This is something to learn from ryukil. Next time you MUST bite your tongue. Confessing is a really slippery slope. You got your reassurance so what happens next time? If you carry on down this path there will always always be a next time. 

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1 hour ago, Ryukil said:

I confessed out of desperation, got that release of endorphins. Mom knows I have OCD, isn't worried about it, says the dishwasher does enough just in case. 

I probably only made it worse.

Temporary 'fix', but long term deeper into the mire. 

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On 12/05/2019 at 05:11, Ryukil said:

I confessed out of desperation, got that release of endorphins. Mom knows I have OCD, isn't worried about it, says the dishwasher does enough just in case. 

I probably only made it worse.

 

On 12/05/2019 at 06:14, paradoxer said:

Temporary 'fix', but long term deeper into the mire. 

 

On 12/05/2019 at 06:15, OCDhavenobrain said:

Yep. Very big mistake


I don't think its necessary to pile on to Ryukil here.  He recognizes that he gave in to a compulsion, and I very much doubt any of us are not guilty of doing the exact same more than once in our OCD journey. The confession happened, none of us can change that.   Yes, it was not the ultimate right choice, but we can focus instead on what can be learned and what can be done moving forward.

@Ryukil - First, its good that you recognize that confession, while providing temporary relief, ultimately will not help you long term.  So consider what you can learn from this.
1. You are capable of delaying responding to a compulsion.  You were able to put off confessing for at least some time, many days in this case.  Next time you feel the urge to confess remind yourself that you put it off for that long before and you can definitely do it again, but try to make it longer next time.  Try to delay confessing as long as possible.  Some people find it helpful to set explicit time limits (I try to do this for anxious feelings and responses I feel like I MUST do, even though I don't ultimately have to).  Maybe say "I will not confess this for at least 1 week.  After 1 week I will reconsider."  See how long you can go without confessing.  If you slip up and do confess, next time set the goal longer than before, etc. etc.
2. Your worst feared outcome didn't come true (it seldom does).  Aside from bringing you temporary relief, the confession also showed you that the ACTUAL reaction to what you are worried about is far different than your feared reaction.  Keep that in mind in the future too:  "Ok, my brain says I should be freakig out right now, but remember last time? Turns out there was no reason to freak out, maybe that means this is an over-exaggeration too).

None of us walks perfectly straight on the path to OCD recovery, we all have our slip ups and set backs.  Do your best to keep moving forward, try to avoid mistakes like this to the best of your ability and when you do make them, try and learn from them as much as possible.  The only way any of us move forward is one step at a tlme.

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Re the above, if - as in Ryukil's situation, loved ones know of his OCD, it might be helpful to set up a system of putting off confessing, with them party to it. It gives them a chance to act as 'therapist' rather than enabler. 

Edited by paradoxer

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1 hour ago, paradoxer said:

Re the above, if - as in Ryukil's situation, loved ones know of his OCD, it might be helpful to set up a system of putting off confessing, with them party to it. It gives them a chance to act as 'therapist' rather than enabler. 

Thats a fantastic idea.  For me having my mother set boundaries helped me with some of my early compulsions and my recovery from OCD was likely greatly helped by her awareness and those limits.

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