OCD taunting me - fear of Schizophrenia

[Skippy]

hi my usual intrusive thoughts are images and occasionally words that pop into my mind and I ruminate on this for hours . I have been trying to refocus from rumination by trying not to spend time ruminating for hours lying on my bed but instead do something to distract me from my thoughts . I have had some small success with this but today my OCD has hit back . I have had thoughts like “ you can’t distract yourself from what you are “ it is like OCD is taunting me . I know these are not some other voices in my head , but it has raised thoughts in my head about Schizophrenia OCD . In identifying my thoughts as OCD thoughts and listening to it am I creating a separate me in my head my OCD me . Does anyone else have intrusive thoughts of OCD taunting you and concerns about Schizophrenia OCD and how have you coped wit it 

I know the voice in my head is me thinking but it sure is unpleasant arguing with yourself and your intrusive thoughts are like a spoken sentence . As I also suffer from depersonalisation this is very disturbing 

Edited May 6, 2019 by Skippy
Additions

[PolarBear]

Why argue with yourself? It's not going to do you any good. 

[Skippy]

Hi Polar Bear I really respect your opinion and have found your video on rumination helpful . It like an involuntary intrusive sentences that taunt me . I know I am doing it to myself it is not an external voice   But I get very distressed as they are like intrusive images but sentences . At the moment I don’t need much to make me anxious 

Edited May 6, 2019 by Skippy

[malina]

Hey Skippy,

I think that your anxiety is just peaking right now and your mind is jumping to all sorts of things. I've had Schizophrenia worries too but this is honestly really illogical. Are you getting any help at the moment?

[Skippy]

1 minute ago, malina said:

Hey Skippy,

I think that your anxiety is just peaking right now and your mind is jumping to all sorts of things. I've had Schizophrenia worries too but this is honestly really illogical. Are you getting any help at the moment?

I am waiting for CBT and a referral to my local Psychiatric unit . I am as you say very anxious Malina . I do need to calm down 

[malina]

1 minute ago, Skippy said:

I am waiting for CBT and a referral to my local Psychiatric unit . I am as you say very anxious Malina . I do need to calm down 

Hang in there Skippy, once you get access to treatment, all of this will improve. I know how you're feeling, I've been in this place before too and it's bloody awful but it's not the end of the world. Just know that ALL of your fears are completely illogical (sorry to be blunt but it's true). You have been managing OCD your entire life, so there is no reason why you can't do it now and anxiety, while it feels awful, won't actually hurt you. These are all just emotions and physical sensations in your body reacting to your thoughts, nothing more than that. 

What I found helped me manage these periods is actively trying to take care of myself. I remember when my anxiety was at its worst, I couldn't sleep or eat. So I made sure that I was making an effort to do these things. Also, going for walks and trying to engage in my work also really helped. If you maintain your self care and try to remember that all of your experiences now are part of this disorder and are not real, that may help you cope.

 

[Skippy]

Thanks  malina I am extremely grateful for your words as you say I have had this disorder on and off for many years . This time it is worse and my medication does not appear to be helping . I have always had a tendency to be able to panic myself and I will try some mindfulness later this evening 

[Angst]

Hi Skippy  Rather than simply describe your experiences you decide to label them or self diagnose. The diagnosis of schizophrenia does not only involve hallucinations but other things such as thought disorder. Hallucinations can occur with other things apart from schizophrenia such as clinical depression or bereavement. If you read the Hearing Voices Forum you will find it is quite a widespread phenomenon. Now I am not saying whether you are hearing voices or not. But you OCD is latched on to a stereotyped view of schizophrenia. I personally think you are having an internal dialogue. You need to stop the panic and relax.

 

[Skippy]

Thanks Angst hours later I am now calmer and your explanation seems more reasonable . I love the people on this forum thanks for your support