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How to deal with death related obsessions?


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I have obsessions that involve dying. I worry I will choke on my food and die, have an allergic reaction and die, have a heartattack and die or some other misc health crisis that ends in me dying.

 

My problem is that just labeling and accepting the thoughts as ocd feels inadequate to me. 

I feel like even if the chances of dying from my fears may be small...I could still die. I can’t rule that out. Death is inevitable, no matter how I die.

 

I know this is a deeper problem (and I am seeking a therapist) but like with my other obsessions all I had to do was accept I had ocd and move on but with these obsessions, I label the thoughts and my ocd counters with, “ Okay well so you’re going to die, you still can maybe die  from this fear! Doesn’t matter if you label the thoughts. “

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You treat it like any other obsession.

A short tangential anecdote in terms of jumping to the disorder's tune, and dying ...  a couple of years ago I was walking along the sidewalk, deep in an OCD rumination, the usual absurd attempt at 'problem solving', trying to find quick relief. I don't remember what the theme was, and it doesn't matter anyway. I  was so caught up in the rumination I stepped into the street without looking; a fast moving vehicle missed me by feet, cars were barreling down the roadway at high speed. So, yes, it wouldn't be much of an exaggeration to say OCD almost killed me. 

Treat the choking and coronary fears like any other obsession, they're not special.  

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I've had this before I worried my lungs  would suddenly stop working or I'd have a heart attack or I'd choke or whatever (or my partner would). As paradoxer says they're not different to any other ocd fear and as with most fears they COULD happen life is full of risk. I don't really worry about this anymore despite being no more certain than before. The key is to stop giving it the attention it craves. 

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I can definitely relate. I’ve experienced a fear of choking, fear that I’ll stop breathing and other obsessions about sudden death.  A lot of OCD obsessions involve at least the slightest risk of death (you can never be certain that something won't happen), so this really isn’t any different. I agree with the advice given so far, the key is to not give the thoughts attention. Trying to fight against them or trying to push them out of your mind doesn’t work.  Practice accepting the thoughts and not doing anything in response.  It will eventually get easier.

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On 19/05/2019 at 11:13, NicoletteCB said:

I feel like even if the chances of dying from my fears may be small...I could still die. I can’t rule that out. Death is inevitable, no matter how I die.

I know this is a deeper problem (and I am seeking a therapist) but like with my other obsessions all I had to do was accept I had ocd and move on but with these obsessions, I label the thoughts and my ocd counters with, “ Okay well so you’re going to die, you still can maybe die  from this fear! Doesn’t matter if you label the thoughts. “


No, you can't rule it out, just like you really can't rule ANY fear out.  

Worried you might get kidnapped by ninjas and sold in to slavery?  Thats ridiculous you say, I can definitely rule that out!  But can you?  100%?  Why?  Who knows what crazy set of circumstances could happen.  It might be extremely unlikely but you can never, truly, rule it out, because the future is unwritten, nothing is guarenteed.  Including death! Until you actually die, who knows what might happen.  The rapture, immortality serum, ability to upload your consciousness into a computer, magic?  Who knows!  Will you die someday?  The odds do point that way, but there is always the possibility you won't, however small that might be.

Overcoming OCD doesn't mean ruling out the possibility of our fears.  It means accepting uncertainty, and becoming able to move past intrusive thoughts without becoming stuck on them.  

You will never be able to rule out death, but you don't need to to get on with your life.  Someday you will probably die, but that doesn't mean you will die TODAY.  

Meanwhile, consider, why are people afraid to die?  Because then they won't be living anymore.  But what is the benefit of living?  Being able to experience life.  But what happens when you spend all your time and energy worrying about possibly dying someday?  You stop experiencing life, you stop getting the benefit of living. In many ways continuing to remain trapped by OCD is very similar to being dead.  So shift your focus from trying to rule out the possibility of death and instead on to living and enjoying the life you have, for however long you have it.  You don't need to disprove the potential outcome of an OCD fear, you need to accept that fear and doubt are part of life, and the less you let them control your actions and decisions, the better off you will be.

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 20/05/2019 at 04:00, dksea said:


No, you can't rule it out, just like you really can't rule ANY fear out.  

Worried you might get kidnapped by ninjas and sold in to slavery?  Thats ridiculous you say, I can definitely rule that out!  But can you?  100%?  Why?  Who knows what crazy set of circumstances could happen.  It might be extremely unlikely but you can never, truly, rule it out, because the future is unwritten, nothing is guarenteed.  Including death! Until you actually die, who knows what might happen.  The rapture, immortality serum, ability to upload your consciousness into a computer, magic?  Who knows!  Will you die someday?  The odds do point that way, but there is always the possibility you won't, however small that might be.

Overcoming OCD doesn't mean ruling out the possibility of our fears.  It means accepting uncertainty, and becoming able to move past intrusive thoughts without becoming stuck on them.  

You will never be able to rule out death, but you don't need to to get on with your life.  Someday you will probably die, but that doesn't mean you will die TODAY.  

Meanwhile, consider, why are people afraid to die?  Because then they won't be living anymore.  But what is the benefit of living?  Being able to experience life.  But what happens when you spend all your time and energy worrying about possibly dying someday?  You stop experiencing life, you stop getting the benefit of living. In many ways continuing to remain trapped by OCD is very similar to being dead.  So shift your focus from trying to rule out the possibility of death and instead on to living and enjoying the life you have, for however long you have it.  You don't need to disprove the potential outcome of an OCD fear, you need to accept that fear and doubt are part of life, and the less you let them control your actions and decisions, the better off you will be.

Yes that’s true I have a fear of dying as it seems pointless if I don’t exist anymore.

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