Feel like fear of something makes it more real

[orange]

I had to do an overnight sleep apnea test at home and had to get up to use the bathroom. I tucked the thing with the cord that goes on my finger in my sleeve but can't get over the idea of what if the pulse oximeter thing fell in the toilet because I risked that by not taking the whole thing off before going to the washroom. I also risked having the thing that clips on to the chest strap fall and that could have fallen in too but I'm pretty sure that part didn't. I kind of know the finger thing didn't fall in because it wasn't wet and still worked and I have no memory of it actually falling in.

If I didn't have to give back the monitor today I might not feel so bad but I feel bad handing it over wondering if it did go in the toilet. It's sort of more like I'm blaming myself for risking something falling in that increases the fear if that makes any sense.