Scared of change plz help :)

[Miaaaaa12]

Hi Im Mia im 16 and I have ocd recently I’ve not had much problems I used to want to make things just right and get very scared and anxious if they weren’t I would think that they would lead to bad things like loosing friends etc. I learnt that I was wrong and the lcd was bullying me to ge into a spiral and the only way I could get out of it is if I believed ocd was controlling me and it was a bully.

 

anyways recently I’ve become much more happier and comfortable but I think a little too comfortable as now I am worried of loosing the happy place i am in now and change taking place. Most of all I am worried of loosing my personality, I would say I’m quite a happy and outgoing person but I have a new constant fear that I am going to become boring and serious. So I’ve been looking up online what determines personality and checking over and over to make sure I can stay the same to reassure myself. It’s is getting very obsessive and the more I did it the more I worry. 

Any advice

Edited June 2, 2019 by Miaaaaa12

[taurean]

44 minutes ago, Miaaaaa12 said:

So I’ve been looking up online what determines personality and checking over and over to make sure I can stay the same to reassure myself. It’s is getting very obsessive and the more I did it the more I worry. 

This is the wrong approach Mia. It's a compulsion and will only make your belief in the doubts and fears stronger. 

45 minutes ago, Miaaaaa12 said:

but I have a new constant fear that I am going to become boring and serious. 

This looks like a repetitive obsessional intrusion, with the core belief that you will lose the happy place of the moment and your endearing personality. 

Typical negative irrational thinking from OCD. 

The way to tackle it is to not believe it. See it as irrational, a false projection, attribute that to OCD and refuse to believe, or connect with, it. 

When the thoughts come, spot them then refocus away again to what you were doing or, if need be, something beneficial and absorbing. 

Separately, work exposure and response prevention on those intrusions, in short sessions of a few minutes. 

Sit with the thoughts, reminding yourself it's OCD at work, irrational, false. 

Gradually as you work these sessions, the intrusions will lose power and occur less frequently - and when they do, they will be easily eased away.

This is the magic of working through cognitive behavioural therapy, geared to a particular manifestation of OCD. 

It works well, but we need to uncover the false exaggerated or revulsive core belief that underpins its theme. Then challenge that as above. 

[dksea]

Hi @Miaaaaa12, welcome to the forums!

Sorry to hear about your troubles with OCD, but glad to hear you have had some success!  It can be frustrating and tricky dealing with it all, I hope you can find some help here.  I wish there were forums like this when I was 16 and dealing with my OCD!
 

5 hours ago, Miaaaaa12 said:

but I think a little too comfortable as now I am worried of loosing the happy place i am in now and change taking place

I think this is a problem a lot of OCD people deal with, when you are in a good place you don't want to change things, because being in a bad place can be really really bad!  And its ok to stay in a good place if its good to a degree, but change is going to happen whether we like it or not, so learning how to accept change is a good skill to have!  One thing that helps me to deal with change is to remember past times where change has happened and things have been ok.  Also, to remember times I've struggled but see that I made it through.

 

5 hours ago, Miaaaaa12 said:

So I’ve been looking up online what determines personality and checking over and over to make sure I can stay the same to reassure myself. It’s is getting very obsessive and the more I did it the more I worry. 

As Taurean says above, this is, unfortunately, the wrong approach but its one that pretty much all OCD sufferers end up dealing with at some point in their recovery journey.  After all, outside of OCD its a pretty natural approach to solving a problem right?  You have a problem, you find out information about the problem try to find solutions and convince yourself and you'll feel better.  Unfortunately OCD messes with that process, instead of feeling better, we still feel doubt, so we keep going over and over the problem, looking for more answers, or testing how we feel to make sure we feel 'right' or what not.  Not only does it not work, it teaches our brain that whatever we were worried about was important, so we start to think about it more and more!  Thats the opposite of what we want!  This kind of behavior is a compulsion ( the C part of OCD) and as you learned it ends up making you worry more not less!

So what can you do about it?  Well first, if possible its a good idea to get help from a trained mental health professional, specifically one who knows about how to treat OCD.  You might need your parents or doctors (or both) help to get this kind of support so even though it can be a scary, if. you can talk to them that would be a good idea.  Its also possible to learn OCD recovery steps on your own, using books or online resources like this site, but thats kinda like training for a sport without a trainer or coach.  You can do it, but its harder.  Either way the goal is to help train your brain (the part you don't always control directly at least) to handle these sorts of situations better.  

BTW, I have to tell you, your personality probably will change over time, but thats totally normal.  The good news is you have a lot of control over how it changes by the choices you make, and you get to decide if you want to be "serious and boring" or not   I'm a little over twice your age now and I promise you you can still be fun and outgoing even when you get older!  I still love video games, I have an annual pass to Disneyland and go at least once a month, I love hanging out with people and having fun!  Sure I do some serious and boring stuff too, like work, and laundry, and cleaning my apartment, etc. but I don't have to give up the fun and out going parts of me.

None of us can say exactly what the future, your or any of ours, will be.  Your personality will almost certainly change, but thats normal and change doesn't mean bad. Maybe it only changes a little, maybe it changes a lot, much of that will be up to you and the choices you make and traits you decide are important.  But change happens, and we can never be 100% sure of what it will mean.  Trying to be 100% sure is the OCD trap.  Accepting that sometimes we just don't know is part of how to free ourselves from OCD.  Its definitely worth it!  Change can be scary, change can be bad, but change can also be amazing and good and lead to MORE fun, MORE outgoing adventures!  Hang in there and again, welcome to the forums!

[Handy]

Were you diagnosed with OCD or do you just have the normal stress of life?

Sometimes I think that just because this is an OCD forum, everyone must have OCD, but that is certainly not the case. Applying OCD therapy methods to non-OCD causes is quite futile.

 

Edited June 3, 2019 by Handy

[PolarBear]

I beg to differ. The vast majority of people who come here have OCD. Many of us are experienced enough to pick out obsessions, distress snd compulsions. OCD is simple to figure out.

CBT is a great therapy for ALL anxiety disorders, not just OCD.

Edited June 3, 2019 by PolarBear

[dksea]

9 hours ago, Handy said:

Sometimes I think that just because this is an OCD forum, everyone must have OCD, but that is certainly not the case. Applying OCD therapy methods to non-OCD causes is quite futile.

While its possible for non-OCD sufferers to show up on an OCD forum, it does tend to be a self-selecting group by its very nature, and as PB says those of us who have been here for awhile (and have dealt with OCD for a LONG while) are pretty good at picking out the symptoms, its not rocket science.

Further, CBT is absolutely NOT futile to non-OCD sufferers, the techniques are applicable to other techniques and to life in general.  

Why do you continue to proffer such uninformed and unhelpful "advice"?