Sexual OCD and groinal response

[Ryukil]

So, my whole deal is that things I'm doing (like reading a book or writing) get "contaminated" by my sexual intrusive thoughts, for instance thoughts about having sex with my mom. If I'm reading a book, my compulsion is to go back and re-read the section without having a groinal response. If I don't, the groinal responses are amped up to 11 and I feel like "urges" to have sex with my mom, which are TERRIFYING. Does anyone else get this? I guess the only way I can get over this is to face it? Like. Yeah. I try to make it so not giving into compulsions just gives me anxiety and not groinal responses - it can happen sometimes - but I think I need to stop trying to avoid the groinal response as well.

You can imagine how scary it is when I'm standing next to my mom and get what feels like an urge to have sex with her.

[malina]

Hey Ryukil,

I don't really have this particular theme, but I definitely get what you mean when you describe this "urge", that is how it is for me with my particular intrusive thoughts. I think you're right that you need to stop avoiding the groinal response. The more you fight it, the more it will happen. Just try to relax, you know what condition you have, you know the cause of all this, accept it for what it is and try to stop fighting it. 

[Guest OCDhavenobrain]

Ryukil have you start doing things differently than let's say 1 year ago?

Edited June 7, 2019 by OCDhavenobrain

[taurean]

Well I too think we have been over this before with you Ryukil. 

And the answer remains the same, as it does with all forms of OCD. 

Don't listen to OCD, listen to those in the know about OCD. 

Don't believe what it says, and note with this type of theme it takes our normal true character values of sexual preference and suggests some horrible alternative preference could be true. 

Then it creates unwanted groinal responses to support its argument. 

We treat this with this cognitive understanding, followed by a programme of non-avoidance, refocusing away and not engaging, and structured (which can include bringing up the trigger in memory) and in the moment exposure and response prevention. 

Faithfully working CBT in this way will reduce manifestations such that eventually, if they do come, they can be easily dismissed. 

So when will you, faithfully, start this process? 

 

[Ryukil]

I guess I can't really avoid it if I actually want to get better.

[taurean]

That's exactly so. We can't avoid it, we have to face up to it in a structured manner in order to eventually overcome it. 

Those that follow this path, and believe what they are told - not what the OCD is telling them - get better. 

We need to practice Roy's "three graces" in order to do this: Patience, Persistence and Perseverance. 

And if I can do this - and, believe me, I am no great mentalist - others can. 

Keep to the programme, expect setbacks and just treat them as blips. 

Roy 

Edited June 7, 2019 by taurean

[Ryukil]

It's true that the bad groinal response only shows up when things are contaminated by certain thoughts, i.e., sexual thoughts about my mother, so what I had been doing is only contaminated things if I wouldn't get the groinal response in return. I can avoid it sometimes - however, that's obviously just going to keep me stuck, so, I need to accept that experiencing that will be an unavoidable part of my recovery.

Edited June 7, 2019 by Ryukil

[paradoxer]

Yes, accepting is the thing. There's nothing that OCD likes more than a desperate struggle. Take that away and you disarm the disorder.