Miami

[Miami]

I have smth what I believe is classical case of OCD. After working in oncology ( I am not a medical professional) and after seeing my close friend dying ( he died in our arms) of cancer I started a never ending journey of checking my lymph nodes (obviously this is in discreet - I am not doing in public and you can’t tell I have smth wrong) and looking for other symptoms of other cancers. My health was not that good either so it gave more anxiety to the fear of cancer. I started hypnotherapy and it helps however my therapist says that I need medication to help it going quicker or add a CBT. I had a tumour ( thankfully benign) removed last year and on my follow up with the surgeon he mentioned his colleague psychiatrist who is specialised in fear of oncology, he also put that in writing to my gp “enquired about psychiatrist for anxiety of cancer- recommended XX who is specialised in oncology”... Now I have a new fear.... what if my GP will decide that I am “psycho” and he will referr our family to children services instead and my child will be taken away?!!! My therapist says this is nothing to do with my child as my OCD is not about her or anyhow harming her. My child is in reception and has a mild autism, I love my child and we have a lovely loving family. However now I have this obsessive thoughts of “what if children are being taken away from ocd parents”.... please can you reassure me this is not the case and my GP will not do it? 

Many thanks x

[Guest OCDhavenobrain]

Hello and welcome to the forum.

Have you had anyone suggesting you might have OCD before? Is this your first obsessions in your life? It could very much be the case that you have OCD.

[Miami]

I am quite sure I have it. I was always afraid to get cancer but after my friend died I became much more worried, but my question is not about that.

[taurean]

A "what if" question, and a request for reassurance are classic elements of OCD. 

Reassuring doesn't work. It's a compulsion, and just makes OCD stronger, not go away. 

Learn to ignore such intrusive thoughts, which weakens them. 

Seperately, in a controlled way, in sessions, open your mind to the thoughts and challenge them. OCD lies and greatly exaggerates - which do you think is at work here? 

[Hal]

Hi Miami,

Please make that appointment. Your therapist is absolutely right your GP won’t view you as a ‘psycho, ’ or a risk to your child, they’re there to help you.

This really is OCD doing what it does so well and catastrophising this for you. I know it’s not easy but try to shove the ‘what ifs’ aside and focus on what’s important here...your mental health and get the ball rolling with the CBT. I tried hypnotherapy too when I started tackling my problems and aside from feeling slightly less anxious during the sessions it didn’t help at all. CBT’s the gold standard treatment that will help the most and aside from medication is always recommended by the NHS.

Bear with me, we did have a useful GP Icebreaker available,  but for the life of me I can’t find it at the moment, I’ll get back to you, but to the forum. We have a great community here with a wealth of knowledge and experience.

[dksea]

Hi @Miami, welcome to the forums.  I am very sorry to hear about the loss of your friend and your own struggles with anxiety and OCD.  I know that these "what if" thoughts can seem frighteningly real, try to keep in mind that the nature of OCD is to raise false alarms, and that what we fear is often greatly exaggerated because of it.  It still FEELS uncomfortable, but you can learn, through CBT, to recognize and defuse these false alarms.  It sounds like the doctors and therapists involved in your care are really looking out for you and trying to get you the help you need.  Try your best to push past these "what ifs" and listen to the advice they are giving you.  After all, it will be better for you and your family if you are as healthy as can be, and thats what you can work towards

[leif]

15 hours ago, Hal said:

Hi Miami,

Please make that appointment. Your therapist is absolutely right your GP won’t view you as a ‘psycho, ’ or a risk to your child, they’re there to help you.

This really is OCD doing what it does so well and catastrophising this for you. I know it’s not easy but try to shove the ‘what ifs’ aside and focus on what’s important here...your mental health and get the ball rolling with the CBT. I tried hypnotherapy too when I started tackling my problems and aside from feeling slightly less anxious during the sessions it didn’t help at all. CBT’s the gold standard treatment that will help the most and aside from medication is always recommended by the NHS.

Bear with me, we did have a useful GP Icebreaker available,  but for the life of me I can’t find it at the moment, I’ll get back to you, but to the forum. We have a great community here with a wealth of knowledge and experience.

HI Hal,

Just wondering if you found that GP icebreaker sheet? I tried doing a search for it too but can't find it and just mentioned it to another person on the forum newly trying to see a GP. (see the thread 'Struggling to Cope'--maybe you could post it there as well if you do find it)

[Hal]

19 minutes ago, leif said:

HI Hal,

Just wondering if you found that GP icebreaker sheet? I tried doing a search for it too but can't find it and just mentioned it to another person on the forum newly trying to see a GP. (see the thread 'Struggling to Cope'--maybe you could post it there as well if you do find it)

Hey, I think it may need to be added again after all the work was done updating and revising the site, but I’ll find out for sure and let you know

[Miami]

Hello all

thanks a lot for your replies, I really appreciate it.

what is a gp ice breaker?

I am going to research of cbt privately and see if I can afford it. I am also seeing a private psychiatrist and see what he suggests. I do not want to take medication to be honest. I just want to work with the fear of getting a cancer and dying of it. My fear comes only from the fact that I am afraid to leave my child without me. I am sometimes thinking that if I will be still here alive in 15 years- I will be the most happiest person in the world  but I know  OCD does not work like that.

 

somebody adviced that reassurance does not work... I never thought about it tbh... 

there is so much info in here, I need to start digging. 

[Hal]

Hi there

The Icebreaker’s really just a template to help shape what we might want to say during a GP appointment....mine would probably have been quite grateful if I’d  found it at the time, I was so anxious and confused I think I just rambled. 

You’re entitled to CBT through the NHS, but if you decide to see someone  privately try to find someone accredited with the British Association of Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapies (BABCP) rather than the BACP which is geared more towards counselling rather than CBT. It can be more expensive but going that route’s as close to a guarantee the therapist will have the required knowledge and experience to treat OCD. 

You can also always give them a call before making an appointment to ask them any questions...most are more than happy to, and you get a sense of them as a person. 

The important thing is you’re on the right track.

When you do see someone they’ll help you change the way you’re thinking about these thoughts around illness, their meaning and what you’re doing...it’s a gradual process and really will help. 

 Something else that will also help along with all the info here, might be getting hold of a couple of self-help books geared towards overcoming the disorder. Two staples are ‘Overcoming OCD...’ by Professor Salkovskisvet al and ‘How to Deal with OCD,’ by Dr Elizabeth Forrester, both are a good foundation,along with Fred Penzel’s articles available online

[dksea]

7 hours ago, Miami said:

I do not want to take medication to be honest.

Many people tackle their OCD without medication so if thats the approach that you prefer go for it!  It sounds like you have a very good grasp on what you need to do moving forward with CBT therapy and are motivated to get better.  

 

7 hours ago, Miami said:

somebody adviced that reassurance does not work... I never thought about it tbh...

Reassurance is kind of like hand washing, its good and helpful when done a healthy amount, but when it becomes compulsive it does more harm than good.

It's very common for OCD sufferers to seek reassurance, after all, when you have a problem or aren't feeling well, hearing that everything going to be ok is a relief right?  Unfortunately for OCD sufferers the results don't last.  You might feel a bit of relief at first, but the doubt comes back and you have to get reassurance again and again and again.  So not only is it not very effective at actually solving your problem, it actually contributes to it by teaching your brain that the intrusive thought is important, the opposite of what you want to have happen.  So compulsive reassurance is a bad thing.  But its ok to get the occasional positive feedback, a nice "you can do this" sort of thing.  Just try to avoid reassurance around a specific worry (or worry in general) from happening to often and becoming a compulsive reply.  Notice when you are seeking out reassurance and try to avoid it if possible.  Good luck in your recovery!