New to the Forum

[Kev]

Hi there,

I have just signed up to this forum but just would like people’s opinion on whether I am an OCD sufferer or not. I have been told many times in my life that I have OCD but only in that way people love to say because I am neat & tidy & my music collection is alphabetised & chronological etc, I have a drawer for t-shirts, socks etc. However all this does not impact on my life. I don’t think about all that at random times of the day & it doesn’t keep me awake. This is just a bit of background to my personality. I do, however, obsess about negative things, a lot. Mainly about noises I find intrusive from outside my house. People mowing grass at 8pm, seagulls nesting nearby, planes flying overhead, children shouting outside. So if it happens once I can’t stop thinking it will keep happening & spend my time waiting for it to happen until eventually it does & then I don’t see it as obsessive because - I was right, I also obsess over other things like the way my jeans sit on my shoes & can be buying a pair of jeans for months. Buy them, think they’re ok then discover they don’t sit quite right  & send them back & go through exactly the same process again & again. I don’t feel I have any compulsions though. This has all gone on for years & Year’s (I am 43 now) & just need it all to stop. It has made me a very angry person (though never violent towards people). Am I just anxious or does this sound like it could be OCD??

Thank you

 

Edited June 9, 2019 by Kev
Spellcheck

[PolarBear]

Hello kev.

Okay, everything you list in your second sentence likely has nothing to do with OCD. The reason is that you then state that the organizing you do does not impact your life. OCD always negatively impacts living.

The rest may well be OCD. You say you have no compulsions. Did you ever think sending back the jeans IS the compulsion?

Going back to that second sentence, do you repeatedly check things to make sure they are in order?

[Kev]

Hi Polarbear & thanks for the reply. I wasn’t overly concerned about those things I mentioned 1st. However, yes I absolutely  do go back to check things. Like if I’m sitting down to relax for the night even though I know I have tidied all the rooms in the house I will pop my head in each door just to systematically say, “right, that’s done”. Then I can sit down. Actually now I’m having to type this I’m realising there are actually quite a few routines I do before I can focus on the task in hand. They don’t impact my life as such although they can be irritating to go through & do waste time - I’m guessing that makes it a compulsion. I can live with these though even if  they are a little irritating. It’s the second lot that concern me most as they cause me real anxiety. It’s amazing how clearly I’m seeing all this now I’m writing it down,

[Angst]

You do not specify the compulsions. A detailed description of a behaviour will help to decide whether it is a compulsion. The description should include the amount of time spent on the compulsion.

For example, locking a door. Pressing against the door and then pressing again. Walking away from the door. Then walk back  to the door and press again.

A compulsion is repetitive behaviour in an attempt to seek reassurance that an action has been succesfully accomplished.

In my example,  each check does not reassure rather you feel the need to check the check. Until your check ‘feels’ right.

Compulsions are dreaded by the performer. So you may not leave the house because of the dread of performing the set of compulsions in leaving the house.

As PolarBear indicates the clinical definition of OCD is how it impacts on your life, this is measured by the amount of time you spend on compulsions and the emotional impact of them.

The best book in my opinion on OCD is Break Free From OCD. There are different variants of OCD. This book deals with the major variants.

A question: what purpose would a diagnosis serve you?

 

[Kev]

I’m guessing I wouldn’t fall under the OCD banner then as I do check through rooms to make sure they’re all as I like them before I sit down to watch something or read a book but I have no sense of dread I haven’t done it right or that something may happen if it’s not. I know I did it properly in the 1st place I just need to check so that it feels right - like scratching an itch. It may take me a few runs through to do it but I wouldn’t do it for hours or anything. I have various checks I do in other parts of my life but they all conform to this method. It’s the other thoughts that I mentioned I’m concerned about as they cause me real anxiety & my thinking about negative things just feels in a constant loop. A diagnosis would just help me have a direction to head in regarding, for want of a better expression, fixing myself. I actually saw that book you mentioned earlier this evening on line. The same way I found this forum actually.

Edited June 9, 2019 by Kev
Spelling

[PolarBear]

That sounds like OCD, even if you think its minor. Do a test. Next time you are about to check each room, don't. Sit down and read a book or watch TV. Notice your anxiety level. We rate anxiety from 1 (very relaxed) to 10 (panic attack). If your anxiety rises more than a couple of points when you don't check, it's a problem.

[leif]

I would say to go get assessed by a mental health professional. Whatever it is, whether OCD or anxiety, it sounds like you could use some help coping. When I read your post about needing order etc i kind of wonder if it could be Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (I hate these names when they say personality disorder!, but it's just a name) Anyhow there are a lot of overlaps with the 2 but they are different, though someone can have both. I think they may be treated differently though.

Anyways that's why i would recommend a proper assessment. While all these are just labels, getting the right label can help us get on the proper route to recovery.

[dksea]

Hi @Kev, welcome to the forums.  I agree with the others that the symptoms you describe definitely sound like they could, at least in part, be OCD related.  It sounds like you are starting to recognize the compulsions in your life, even if you didn't think of them that way at first.  Of course the forums are a great place to share stories and get help, but I echo what Lief said, talking to a doctor or other trained mental health professional is probably your best bet, not only for getting an official diagnosis, but for being able to access all the care options that are available to you.

[Kev]

Thanks so much everyone for the replies. It’s definitely given me food for thought. @leif I hadn’t heard of OCPD before but having now read about it, what a revelation. That sounds much more like me. Not every part of it but I definitely identify more with that than OCD - I think. I ascribe to 5 of the 8 definitions for OCPD. I have ordered the book ‘break free from OCD’. Will this still be of use to me if it turns out that I have OCPD? Or is there a better book I could order. I will still be seeking a professional diagnosis but I want to get moving on this ASAP.

[leif]

@Kev Yes it seems like OCPD is less known about and then the similarities between them can cause some confusion too!

In my self-help book for OCD, they mention OCPD and say that if you have that rather than OCD, that particular workbook/treatment wouldn't be useful. So I imagine it might be the same for the one you ordered. I did see on one site about OCPD that one would have CBT therapy along with possibly medication and also relaxation techniques. So that sounds similar to what is done for OCD, but the CBT might look different. I know i've done a few different courses in CBT and it can look different for generalized anxiety and depression and OCD while there are some overlaps with all of them.

I'm not sure about self-help books for OCPD--i did a search for them and there seems to be some around but have no idea what quality they would be. You might have to do some research. So maybe go for your diagnosis and see what they think it is before doing too much running around.

Are you able to get into see someone soon? I know what you mean about wanting to get going on this sooner than later. 

I hope you are able to at least have some continued support on here until you figure this out a little more!

Edited June 10, 2019 by leif

[Handy]

50% of those with ocd have Get right ocd too. 

 

[dksea]

2 hours ago, Handy said:

50% of those with ocd have Get right ocd too. 

75% of statistics are made up