malina Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 (edited) I am trying to keep track of the positives in my OCD recovery and the past few days, I've seen quite a few nice changes. 1. I decided to take a few days off work, I was nervous about this because having lots of free time makes me anxious. I did indeed get a bit anxious several times, but actually really enjoying having time off and feel rested and ready to go back to work! 2. I get anxious when I have to be at home alone especially in the evenings, which is a complete shame because before my relapse I actually loved spending time by myself. I never ask my partner to stay at home because of me, but I find reasons to go out when he's not at home to fill the time. Last night, he went out and I stayed on my own for hours. I made plans to go out for a while, but then decided not to. I was very anxious at first but eventually the hours flew by and I was okay. 3. I got a stressful work email last night and thought that I may have made a big mistake with a financial issue. I was worried but I didn't panic, I took the steps last night to explain what I could to my boss and left the rest until this morning to sort out. I accepted the possibility that I had made a mistake and that there could be repercussions but reminded myself that I would be able to cope with them. I accepted the uncertainty and turns out that all is good and not my problem at all. 4. I was cleaning the bathroom yesterday and after using one detergent, my eyes felt itchy and my throat was dry. I thought I was having a reaction to it, got anxious and then felt like i was having trouble breathing. I was going to tell my partner (i.e. seek reassurance), but decided not to. Instead, I told myself that I could be having a reaction, but if it gets worse I could get help. At that moment, itchy eyes and a dry throat were not dangerous and I could move on from the worry. After all this, for the first time in months i felt so free! Last night I actually felt like I was on my way to beating this disorder! I know there is still a way to go, but exposure works. It feels horrible at first, but if you give yourself time, it will pay off!! Edited June 12, 2019 by malina Link to comment
Madchoc Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 Well done Malina , great work. Be very proud of yourself.xxx Link to comment
leif Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 Great post Malina! I love when you see the results of exposures freeing up your life! In one of my books they suggest having little rewards after you do exposures, but i think the best reward of all is gaining back freedoms that were lost to OCD. Thanks for posting Link to comment
taurean Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 Excellent work Malina feel proud and keep this going. Link to comment
taurean Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 And remember, setbacks - as and when they might come - are only blips, not catastrophes Link to comment
malina Posted June 12, 2019 Author Share Posted June 12, 2019 Thanks a lot for your encouragement, it means a lot! Link to comment
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