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malina

Some progress

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I am trying to keep track of the positives in my OCD recovery and the past few days, I've seen quite a few nice changes.

1. I decided to take a few days off work, I was nervous about this because having lots of free time makes me anxious. I did indeed get a bit anxious several times, but actually really enjoying having time off and feel rested and ready to go back to work!

2. I get anxious when I have to be at home alone especially in the evenings, which is a complete shame because before my relapse I actually loved spending time by myself. I never ask my partner to stay at home because of me, but I find reasons to go out when he's not at home to fill the time. Last night, he went out and I stayed on my own for hours. I made plans to go out for a while, but then decided not to. I was very anxious at first but eventually the hours flew by and I was okay.

3. I got a stressful work email last night and thought that I may have made a big mistake with a financial issue. I was worried but I didn't panic, I took the steps last night to explain what I could to my boss and left the rest until this morning to sort out. I accepted the possibility that I had made a mistake and that there could be repercussions but reminded myself that I would be able to cope with them. I accepted the uncertainty and turns out that all is good and not my problem at all.

4. I was cleaning the bathroom yesterday and after using one detergent, my eyes felt itchy and my throat was dry. I thought I was having a reaction to it, got anxious and then felt like i was having trouble breathing. I was going to tell my partner (i.e. seek reassurance), but decided not to. Instead, I told myself that I could be having a reaction, but if it gets worse I could get help. At that moment, itchy eyes and a dry throat were not dangerous and I could move on from the worry. 

After all this, for the first time in months i felt so free! Last night I actually felt like I was on my way to beating this disorder! I know there is still a way to go, but exposure works. It feels horrible at first, but if you give yourself time, it will pay off!!

Edited by malina

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Well done Malina , great work. Be very proud of yourself.xxx

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Great post Malina! I love when you see the results of exposures freeing up  your life! In one of my books they suggest having little rewards after you do exposures, but i think the best reward of all is gaining back freedoms that were lost to OCD.

Thanks for posting :) 

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Excellent work Malina feel proud and keep this going. 

 

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And remember, setbacks - as and when they might come - are only blips, not catastrophes :)

 

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