Help!

[stoneroses_fan]

Hiya, 

I posted on here before about some upcoming concerts I'm due to go to. I mentioned how they're in outdoor stadiums and it's been triggering me since I worry about the possibility of bird poop or just dirty marks on the outdoor seating. It's been bothering me alot. 

I've worked hard on my OCD recovery. I am at least 80% fully functioning now, compared to what I once was...where I used to be housebound (during my abusive relationship which I'm now out of!). I'm proud of how far I've come. I never used to be able to gk to concerts at all, either because my OCD was so bad, or due to my abusive partner keeping me trapped in our home/s. The past few years, I've pushed myself to go to some indoor concerts and I've had the best time! However, these upcoming ones are outdoors and I'm finding it tough to deal with. 

I know I was advised to just go anyway...but I find that a naive answer to be honest. I can't just go because I want to, as we all know OCD can bite you on the ****, and if you expose yourself to a feat before you're ready, it could backfire and make your OCD worse again. I've been doing my own successful exposure therapy the past two years, and I know what works for me and what doesn't. 

I have an upcoming police interview regarding the business of my abusive ex partner. I need to keep my head straight for that. I can't afford to go to two outdoors gigs, which are making me highly anxious in the lead up, and then them possibility trigger the hell out of my OCD once I attend them. It could make me a mess mentally, which will then effect my general state of mind to deal with my case regarding my ex. 

I've got another outdoor concert after the police interview, which I feel more relaxed going to, as it's after the important police business so I'm not as anxious. 

 

What do you think I should do? I don't wanna miss these two upcoming gigs, but I also have to take my OCD recovery into account which I've worked so hard on. 

[PolarBear]

Well look, it's your choice. You either go or don't go. There's nothing else to be done. I guess you could do some compulsions, wear a hat and wash your seat first. That's up to you.

Advising you to go is not naive. It is normal. That's what everyone else at the concerts will do. They won't be worrying about bird poop.

[stoneroses_fan]

1 hour ago, PolarBear said:

Well look, it's your choice. You either go or don't go. There's nothing else to be done. I guess you could do some compulsions, wear a hat and wash your seat first. That's up to you.

Advising you to go is not naive. It is normal. That's what everyone else at the concerts will do. They won't be worrying about bird poop.

yes I understand it's normal to go...but considering I'm also having to deal with the PTSD and cptsd from an abusive relationship, added stress of healing the trauma ontop of my OCD issues, it's not as easy for me as it is for others. It isn't just the possibility bird poop which is the issue, it's also the fact the venue for both gigs is in London, which is where I was physically and mentally abused for years. The last time I went to London, I found it more difficult than I'd anticipated. 

 

I'm not trying to avoid going to outdoor gigs, it's just I have extra stress from other stuff in my life which is contributing to my anxiety. So I'm not sure I should risk my mental health when I have to stay sound for my interview. It's bad timing and the last thing I wanna do is miss the gigs I guess I'll see on the day if I'm up to it.

[PolarBear]

I hear ya. I'm thinking maybe the bird poop concern is minor compared to your other concerns.

If you can't do it right now, there is no shame in it. Your mental health must come first.

But.... but... what if you went and had a glorious time? Wouldn't that be empowering?

[seekingERPnorthwest]

You could address it this way: as for the first concert & police interview: it's natural to be anxious about something like a police interview. Anyone in your situation would be nervous /  apprehensive about the police interview. So, if you understand & accept that you are bound to be anxious about that, then you will be anxious anyway about that, regardless of whether you go to the first concert. So... you might as well go to the first concert and enjoy yourself!

Take a good friend to support you in London, take some wet wipes & if your seat is dirty you will be prepared. Though the likelihood is that it won't be & you'll be able to  keep the wipe and use it for like wiping your hands after some delicious sticky food.

Edited June 16, 2019 by seekingERPnorthwest