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This is probably false


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Hey all.

Here i am again, with another obsession again, only this time i feel i just don't know to sure if its ocd or not.

earlier today i was playing with my little son he is 6 months old right now. and things have been going well, i get obsessions but almost every time i''m able to ignore them and dont do compulsions. Except today while playing my son was laying on his belly, and i was laying on my side next to him. suddenly he moves with his foot towards my male part (in between) my legs. but i did not see him do it, i only suddenly felt it, so after feeling it i did not move away immediately i stayed for like 1 - 2 more seconds like that, and although i did not get a erection i did feel this sensitive feeling i get when i for example lay in bed with my wife and i know we are about to have intercourse.

Immediately after i move away with my hips so he could not touch me again i started thinking....  if anything else would touch me that way i might have even stayed there for longer, since i felt this weird sensation which in some creepy way felt good?

Even thinking these thoughts make me cringe so hard, since i have none of these feelings towards my son, yes i love him very much, but no i would never do such things at purpose. 

What do i do with this? some part inside me tells me its just OCD. but the other part tells me that the initial sensation i got was 'arousing' ? 

i am not even sure if it was arousing, maybe i am just making that up right now, i don't know anymore.

 

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"This is probably false". 

The clue is in your topic title. 

OCD demands certainty (that it is not real and is OCD) but certainty is not possible to  achieve. 

So how do we overcome this? 

With probability. 

If it seems like OCD then it probably is. 

And we should go with that - not listen to what OCD is telling us. 

With sexual themes, this illness can induce arousal against the reason of our true core character values. The feelings of arousal will therefore be real, but the desire and intent is a falsehood. 

So always go with probability that it IS OCD, and your true core character values, viz:

49 minutes ago, Ironborn said:

Even thinking these thoughts make me cringe so hard, since i have none of these feelings towards my son, yes i love him very much, but no i would never do such things at purpose. 

And that is how to do it. 

This is the cognive side of CBT you need to understand to tackle this theme. Now ignore the thoughts and sensations, don't believe them or connect with them and get back on with your day. 

I am so very glad that I have this knowledge and have been able to share it with you. 

Edited by taurean
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12 hours ago, Ironborn said:

  What do i do with this? some part inside me tells me its just OCD. but the other part tells me that the initial sensation i got was 'arousing' ? 
 

Hi. For me personally,  I dealt with this theme and others by allowing the possibility of my fears to be true. Reassurance had a band aid affect. So trying to tell myself it's just ocd would perhaps work briefly, but in x amount of time the doubts would come back. I had severe ocd. I would always find a loophole in any reassurance answer myself or others tried to give me. 

When you allow for the possibility of your fears to be true, the feelings you experience are horrendous.   But over time as you chip away at things, your threshold for uncertainty increases. And the the thoughts don't bother  you. They come and go.  Although when you do start to make changes, your brain is resistant to change, and so it bombards you with extra doubts.  But if you chip away at things , you can recover. There will be lots of up and down moments though. 

This article by Steven Phillipson is for me the best out there:

https://www.ocdonline.com/rethinking-the-unthinkable

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