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Tackling OCD's Demands For Certainty


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This is an ever-present issue for our forum users, so I thought I would re-post a topic I wrote back in 2016, which hopefully will help some of you. 

How OCD Exerts a Grip on Us

Think of OCD holding a magnifying glass, and scanning for things that support its arguments.

In a non-OCD sufferer, intrusions of an OCD nature don’t appear in their central “field of vision”, they remain in the background out of peripheral view.

When upsetting or negative intrusive thoughts come into that field of vision, they are momentarily considered, found to be unwanted and then fused – discarded. They return back out of core focus into the background and out of even peripheral vision.

In an OCD sufferer, the brain is under influence of OCD “scanning” for the thing we fear, and when it finds it brings it into core focus and applies the magnifying glass to exaggerate its meaning and awfulise on its consequences. The thought does not fuse and dissolve away, it takes central stage. Anxiety is generated, a vicious cycle of distress commences.

To break that cycle, we must successfully challenge the thoughts, expose ourself to the thoughts in graded exposure and response prevention, working towards a result of putting  away the magnifying glass and getting that intrusion slipping back into peripheral vision and beyond.

Certainty

One of the trump cards our disorder holds is the demand for certainty.

When we try to challenge the hold it has over us by assessing the arguments for our issues being real, against the arguments for them being put forward by OCD and false, it will play that card.

So if you find you are say 90% convinced you have OCD and that is the source of the problem, it will play on the doubt and uncertainty over the remaining 10%. And it’s very convincing when doing this. People have a number of times said on the forum that they can’t even accept 1% possibility of the event(s) or feelings urges or whatever being real. They feel they should be hurt, punished and could be guilty or whatever.

Bur the fact is that they must accept that minimal possibility. We have to see that the remaining uncertainty is being peddled by OCD to support its lies, deceit and distress.

Our toilet cleaner product proudly announces that it kills 99% of all known germs. That’s good enough for me, but is it good enough for an OCD sufferer with concerns about contamination from germs in the toilet?

In order to get better we are going to have to address this uncertainty card, and defuse its power so it can no longer “trump” us.

We need to maybe re-appraise how our OCD operates – the “map” that shows the underpinning fear – having committed a criminal act, wrong sexual preference, harm, loss of control, burglary flood fire or whatever.

We then need to understand how our OCD plays on that through the triggers it uses, and the meaning being given to its thoughts images urges feelings.

Remind ourselves that uncertainty will support its arguments, and look at practical ways of desensitising that call for certainty.

With the example I gave of contamination, the possibility of a 1% unknown germ causing harm has to be reframed as insignificant and we need to start an indifferent approach to that; we know the OCD wants to magnify that possibility, so we need to look at ways of realising the threat is minimal and then moving away from focusing on it.

Some people have exercised this indifference by a “so what” or “maybe, maybe not” approach. These are great ideas, they work when you really stand up to the disorder.

I use another method as well; the “editing out” approach – here is how it works

Think of something close by that irritates you – the noise of lawnmowers in summer, trains passing at the end of your garden, next door neighbour’s dog barking.

Then think about not hearing those noises – those upsetting distractions – just imagine your environment without those noises and keep working on that.

In due course you will find that their impact is diminishing – slipping away as your mind fastens on to the command to ignore them.

I never notice the trains now – they are just background noise I don’t even acknowledge.

You can apply “editing out” to the call for certainty, (and you can also apply it to the urge to compulse, and to triggers and intrusions).

Edited by taurean
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I must admit I’m getting a lot of anxiety about my first post and the subsequent thread because of the details I put in there which I feel might make somebody recognise me. I really want to edit out some of the specific details but can’t see how to do it. I know this is an ocd compulsion but there is no need for some of the detail I included and I would just feel safer taking it out. How do I edit if he edit icon isn’t showing up?

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You can't. You request of the moderstors that your post be removed if it is causing you that much anxiety.

From my standpoint, you included nothing in the post that was very revealing about your intrusive thoughts. Even if you did, so what? I wrote a book about my OCD experience and it was quite graphic and to the point about my obsessions.

At the end of the day, it's up to you.

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For what? Someone you know would have to be on this forum and put two and two together. So? All they could conclude is you have OCD. 

For the record, in the five years I've been here, no one has ever said someone figured out who they are by reading this forum.

Edited by PolarBear
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It's a common issue amongst OCD sufferers and we often see such requests. 

But be calm. I had such thoughts once upon a time but realised it wasn't the way forward. 

OCD seeks to make us afraid like that, to marginalise us, feel scared in such a way. The fear that people might recognise us, become aware of our fears, react adversely. 

So that is the OCD core belief. And the urge to edit is the compulsion, and you are feeling anxious - the disorder. 

So this is in itself OCD. And how do we treat it? In the usual way. You can't have certainty that no-one you know, in some way or another, might come on here, read your posts, and recognise you. 

So you learn to accept the high probability that they won't, and leave it be. 

I have been there, done that, and got the T-shirt ?. And when I did that, the issue disappeared in a puff of smoke - I had stood up to that OCD dragon ? and overcome it. 

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The anxiety is awful today, I’ve written my exposure and i’m too scared to record it on my phone in case I accidentally send it to someone in my contacts. 

Edited by Black
Typos
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I just feel like I’ve made this whole ocd thing up so I can stay in denial of who I am. Why would I even have these doubts if they weren’t true. It’s like I’m not going to find peace until I accept what I am, confess to the world and accept the consequences. 

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If I had a pound for every time I had read such a post..... 

That is classic OCD. 

Remember its game is to attack our core character values, allege the opposite to be true, and produce the immense anxiety that you are experiencing. 

Don't listen to what your brain, aka the OCD, is telling you. 

Listen to knowledgeable people here and you will get through this. 

8 minutes ago, Black said:

Why would I even have these doubts if they weren’t true. 

Because you are suffering from OCD. 

8 minutes ago, Black said:

It’s like I’m not going to find peace until I accept what I am, confess to the world and accept the consequences. 

In fact, you will get the peace you seek when you don't pay attention to or believe the thoughts, and they in due course fall away for lack of attention. 

And remember, the urge to confess is a classic OCD compulsion. 

As I said just earlier, I have been there, done that, and got the T-shirt ?

In fact my wardrobe is stuffed full of  T-shirts ? obtained under similar circumstances :)

 

Edited by taurean
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I have been active on these forums for seven years, made over 26,000 posts (probably more than anyone else) and I consistently, continually, see the same old traits of the tyrant OCD coming up. 

Your post, Black, is just such a one. 

You don't need to have the certainty (that this really is OCD) that you crave. 

For the probability that what we are telling you is true is your ACE in the hand, for you to play it and trump the OCD. 

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But how do you know for certain? I read on here years ago someone who had one of my themes and it turned out to be true, and that was wreaking havoc with her other themes because if that one was true then so might the others be. This is where my head is going, along with the fact that I’m not diagnosed and really these themes have been there on some level for as long as I can remember, childhood even, so who’s to say they’re not true and I haven’t just stuck the ocd label on it 7 years ago in order to cope / deny.

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22 minutes ago, Black said:

But how do you know for certain? I read on here years ago someone who had one of my themes and it turned out to be true, and that was wreaking havoc with her other themes because if that one was true then so might the others be. This is where my head is going, along with the fact that I’m not diagnosed and really these themes have been there on some level for as long as I can remember, childhood even, so who’s to say they’re not true and I haven’t just stuck the ocd label on it 7 years ago in order to cope / deny.

Hi Black,

Surely the best plan of action would be to have it out in person with someone qualified and get an official diagnosis then, because It looks to me like this has been festering for some time now, & will most likely carry on!

 

 

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33 minutes ago, felix4 said:

Hi Black,

Surely the best plan of action would be to have it out in person with someone qualified and get an official diagnosis then, because It looks to me like this has been festering for some time now, & will most likely carry on!

 

 

Possibly but then when I’m well I’m so glad I didn’t seek treatment and put it all out there. I have recovered before and have had 7 good years so I want to give myself another few weeks before taking the plunge, but I realise I may have to.

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1 hour ago, Black said:

But how do you know for certain? 

That's the purpose of the thread isn't it? 

We can't. But we CAN, and have to - if we want to get better - learn to accept probability. 

1 hour ago, Black said:

I read on here years ago someone who had one of my themes and it turned out to be true, and that was wreaking havoc with her other themes because if that one was true then so might the others be.

So? Things do happen in life, there is no certainty. But the probability may be that, to any one individual, they won't. 

It IS certain that currently I won't win the lottery! Why? Because I don't buy tickets :laugh:.

But if I DID buy a ticket, the probability that I wouldn't win would be high. 

Would I accept that? Sure. 

So we can - and, actually we all have to - learn to accept probability in order to recover from OCD. 

Would any personal specialist in OCD out there tell us any different? No. Because there isn't a different approach in CBT, this is the main approach we learn, though some additional ideas can be helpful, as I and snowbear have said. 

A particular good thing about the forums is that those such as me, who have received specialist CBT treatment for OCD, can share what we have learned. 

It isn't of course as good as receiving one's own one to one therapy - but it's pretty close. 

Add in a good CBT workbook for OCD, and you are pretty well there. 

As always though, it isn't just what we can find out about OCD with the cumulative knowledge of forums, self-help books or individual therapy, it's all about putting it into practice. 

And that comes right back to believing what we are being told by experienced others, and NOT what our own brains are telling us (influenced by the illness). 

Edited by taurean
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Ok so I’ve spent the last hour mentally dealing with any thoughts via the 4 steps of relabelling, reattributing, refocusing etc, anxiety has reduced and I feel less concerned about certainty right now. Is it normal for exposures to trigger anxiety like they have done for me today? It puts me off persisting with the exposures if I’m going to have this much anxiety from it all day, maybe I’m better off sticking to the 4 steps? Or should I persist? I wasn’t even that anxious whilst listening to the exposures, it was more the thoughts it triggered afterwards, like in some way doing the exposures is giving more attention to the thoughts than they deserve, making them feel more important and like they have credibility. Any advice on this?

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Back off a little with the exposure work - don't go too much on this, too soon. 

1 hour ago, Black said:

it was more the thoughts it triggered afterwards, like in some way doing the exposures is giving more attention to the thoughts than they deserve, making them feel more important and like they have credibility. A

A classic example of OCD upping its game when threatened. 

Expect this in the early stages of recovery. 

At the moment there seems a lot of OCD-ing in what "me time" you have. 

See if you can loosen up a little. Singing along with the radio whilst in the kitchen, going out for a mindful walk, just easing your mind in to focusing on what you see, smell, experience in the present, in the moment. 

As a busy Mum, also get immersed in your tasks, really involved deeply with them, beneficially. 

And before sleep, try reading a lovely, peaceful novel, such as a romcom - really ease into that for a little while. 

Edited by taurean
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5 hours ago, Black said:

Possibly but then when I’m well I’m so glad I didn’t seek treatment and put it all out there. I have recovered before and have had 7 good years so I want to give myself another few weeks before taking the plunge, but I realise I may have to.

Hi Black,

Just make sure that you don't let OCD dictate & prevent you getting an official diagnosis & professional treatment!  

I wish you well.

 

Edited by felix4
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