Best Night In A Long Time ?

[MentalChecker]

Hi All after all the negative posts I've made, I thought I would provide an update on something positive. 

I see my therapist on Monday but they are contactable even when I'm not in a session. 

The session went well but I was still experiencing problems yesterday. 

I contacted them and they replied to me with strict firm instructions that I'm still not following the advise they gave me in dealing with my problem. 

I can't say specifically what they said as it's a theme very close to my heart, but the main ingredients are that I'm constantly analysing everything to try and get the 'feeling' and to reassure myself that the thing I'm worried about didn't happen and what I need to do instead is to zoom out and stop analysing and take a risk and to trust myself and my morals.

And you know what? Last night was the best night I have had in a long long time. I don't feel anxious this morning although I do feel a little strange as I'm still no closer to knowing if the thing I'm worried about (and even then I couldnt even remember what it was I was worried about!!) did or didn't happen...but as I recall Dksea and some others on the forum mentioning to me previously its not about getting answers to our worries..... And I guess its about having a better quality of life at the risk of not knowing if our worries are real or not.... 

Hopefully the above may help others experiencing these problems.

I just truly hope my worries continue to stay dormant as they are now if I continue to practice the above......

 

 

 

[MentalChecker]

Edit: And it's also realising that all of your techniques I. E the obsessions, the analysing, the compulsions/rituals, the reassurances, they are all false feelings that you create a feeling of certainty in your mind to make you feel better. But they don't work, and instead just make the problem worse. And if they don't work then why do we use them? 

I have struggled with the above for a long time as the thought of feeling some relief, even in the short term, is at least better than the feeling of worry and anxiety in the spare of the moment.

I guess I need to take all of the above on board and take that risk if I want to get control of my life again. 

[PhilM]

From my experience the fear of what's going on in my mind is what perpetuated the problem and still does to some degree. OCD is a very cruel condition but it can be "managed" in my experience and I know people even beyond "managing" the condition who refer to themselves as "ex-sufferers".

Fear of intrusive thoughts and physical anxiety are a sneaky combination which feed off each other and if you add them to ruminating the cycle can go on ad infinitum.

You may never have control of what's going on in your mind but you can certainly develop a lot of control over how you deal with thoughts. 

[Black]

Glad you had a better night, must be something in the air, I’ve had a good day too. Your therapists sound great by the way.

[MentalChecker]

She is really fantastic, very understanding, not judgemental, and there's nothing I'm afraid of telling her. 

I'm glad you're having a bit of a better time Black hope the stuff in the air remains forever

[MentalChecker]

54 minutes ago, PhilM said:

From my experience the fear of what's going on in my mind is what perpetuated the problem and still does to some degree. OCD is a very cruel condition but it can be "managed" in my experience and I know people even beyond "managing" the condition who refer to themselves as "ex-sufferers".

Fear of intrusive thoughts and physical anxiety are a sneaky combination which feed off each other and if you add them to ruminating the cycle can go on ad infinitum.

You may never have control of what's going on in your mind but you can certainly develop a lot of control over how you deal with thoughts. 

Hi mate I completely understand. The other day I was in such a strong loop that as soon as I reassured myself and left the toilet the worry crept back in and the thought of maybe I didn't check it properly and I had to go back into the toilet to check over the thing in my head that as bothering me. This went on for approx 30 mins each time several times that day.... 

But the more you do the more you HAVE to do...... Whereas I've noticed the less you do the less you HAVE to do if that makes sense? 

[PhilM]

It does MC. I'm going out in a minute and I know I'll have doubts in my head that I've locked the door but I can't go and check. This is one of my less distressing manifestations. Obviously I would say work with a therapist if you're not already but there are things you can do for yourself if you're waiting to see one in my experience.