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Struggling today- what should I do?


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I'm having a difficult day today and could really do with some advice! 

Some of my family (who I live with) have gone to London to stay in a Premier Inn for a night and I've just read on another forum that someone is currently vomiting with a norovirus type infection at one of the hotels of the same chain (it may be the same hotel) in London. I am feeling very anxious because my contamination OCD and Emetophobia are focused on Norovirus and I'm terrified of catching it and being sick. 

Then just to add to my anxiety a minute ago I went to get a biscuit from the biscuit jar and noticed that I had some stuff on the back of my hand. It was either some little grains of cooked rice or some grated mozzarella. I stopped eating the biscuit immediately but may have ingested some of whatever it was. I am scared that it might be rice and as we've not had any rice for a couple of weeks I'm worried that I could get very very sick from it if it was. We do wipe the kitchen sides down but I just don't know where it came from. I had just washed my hands before I got the biscuit, which makes it even more confusing! I am very worried that I'll end up getting bacillus cereus (food poisoning) from the rice. 

I think I'm extra anxious because my Mum had a hospital appointment yesterday, which actually ruled out a type of cancer but I felt very worried all day until we found out. 

Basically I'm just wondering what I can do about- the norovirus worry, the food poisoning concern and the anxiety I'm feeling at the moment? 

Thanks :) 

 

Edited by BelAnna
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Guest OCDhavenobrain

I will be realistic but also give you a fact you have to accept to overcome this disorder -- it could be that the thing you ate is really really bad and that you will get sick. It is possible.

Edited by OCDhavenobrain
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Thank you Lost, OCDhavenobrain and Polarbear! 

So the bacillius rice concern is no longer a worry as I'm past the incubation period (6 hours for the Emetic type) but I did manage to stay relatively calm about that one and just think- I'll wait and see- so thanks for that OCDhavenobrain.

Thanks Lost; the thread was on Mumsnet under the title 'Sick in hotel' in the 'Am I being Unreasonable?' section- is that the one you mean?

Basically Polarbear I look on the 'AIBU?' thread on Mumsnet (not just for Mums- a good percentage of forum users are non-mothers) just for poops and giggles (and sometimes to talk to people when it's one of the sillier/funnier topics) and due to my Emet I stupidly clicked on that thread. I didn't actively google search for stuff related to my Emetophobia but equally I shouldn't have clicked on it. I have since avoided looking at the thread even though I really really want to know which exact Premier Inn it is that the sicky is staying in!!! (I recognise that that is reassurance seeking behaviour because I want reassurance that it's a different Premier Inn to one my family are staying in). 

I am really trying to manage this situation but am definitely struggling!- silly OCD! 

Oh also thank you Lost! it was a big relief that it's not breast cancer- I managed not to google or actively engage in the process of worrying this time but still felt very anxious until she found out it was all clear. Hope you're ok? 

 

 

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22 minutes ago, BelAnna said:

Thanks Lost; the thread was on Mumsnet under the title 'Sick in hotel' in the 'Am I being Unreasonable?' section- is that the one you mean?

Yep, that's the one!

 

25 minutes ago, BelAnna said:

Oh also thank you Lost! it was a big relief that it's not breast cancer- I managed not to google or actively engage in the process of worrying this time but still felt very anxious until she found out it was all clear. Hope you're ok? 

Well done for not googling! I think it's normal to be anxious, us worriers just take it that bit further!

I'm doing a bit better, thanks. Made it just outside my house now. I'm soon going to have to go and stay somewhere else for a while though, which I'm terrified about!

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Aw thanks Daja! 

Wow Lost, that's amazing you made it out of the house! Are you going to be staying in a hotel whilst the house is decluttered? It would be so amazing if by the time you're 30 you're able to lead a normal life so just think of the staying somewhere else as being a huge step towards that!

Freaked out last night about the whole hotel situation and am not feeling any better about it today but I've written a plan of how to manage this situation, which does involve some compulsions but doesn't involve me having a massive panic when my parents get back later. I want to live a normal life but I'm having EMDR for my Emetophobia at the moment and need to take it a step at a time! I've realized a lot of this comes down to not feeling safe so need to work on that!

Edited by BelAnna
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How are you doing now? I hope their return wasn't too stressful for you.

I'm with you on the not feeling safe.

On 20/06/2019 at 14:44, BelAnna said:

Wow Lost, that's amazing you made it out of the house! Are you going to be staying in a hotel whilst the house is decluttered? It would be so amazing if by the time you're 30 you're able to lead a normal life so just think of the staying somewhere else as being a huge step towards that!

Thank you, that would be good. It probably won't be a hotel as it will take quite a while, maybe a short term let.

Edited by Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze
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Hi Lost, 

I'm okay thanks! It's still within the 'incubation' period for Norovirus but I'm hoping everything is fine and I've decided to avoid doing any more compulsions as much as possible.

My parents showered when they got back and engaged in some cleaning for me, which obviously isn't the way for me to recover from the Emetophobia/OCD but was all that I could cope with at the time. I did stay up late cleaning the sinks and shower but I'm now trying to challenge any thoughts I have about needing to carry out more cleaning compulsions.  

How are you? I hope the short-term let situation works out well and is actually helpful in the long-term. Have you been outside again? 

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Hi BelAnna,

Any reduction in compulsions is a step in the right direction, so well done! :clapping:

How are you finding the EMDR?

I'm hoping it will be helpful long term. I'm planning to ask for CBT once we've moved out. I have been outside a few more times - just a few steps from the front door still so far, but then I go back in without any extra cleaning or clothes changing.

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On 20/06/2019 at 06:19, BelAnna said:

So the bacillius rice concern is no longer a worry as I'm past the incubation period (6 hours for the Emetic type) but I did manage to stay relatively calm about that one and just think- I'll wait and see

Its good that you are doing things to avoid compulsions, but one I think you should think about that you are still doing is worrying about things like incubation period.  Thats also a compulsion and something you can work on cutting out, especially if it means researching/Googling to find out various incubation periods.

 

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15 hours ago, Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze said:

Hi BelAnna,

Any reduction in compulsions is a step in the right direction, so well done! :clapping:

How are you finding the EMDR?

I'm hoping it will be helpful long term. I'm planning to ask for CBT once we've moved out. I have been outside a few more times - just a few steps from the front door still so far, but then I go back in without any extra cleaning or clothes changing.

Hi Lost,

That's amazing! A bit like the moon landing in terms of how significant it is for the rest of your whole life! (sorry- does that make sense? as in 'one small step'). The not changing and showering must take guts too. :)

 

11 hours ago, dksea said:

Its good that you are doing things to avoid compulsions, but one I think you should think about that you are still doing is worrying about things like incubation period.  Thats also a compulsion and something you can work on cutting out, especially if it means researching/Googling to find out various incubation periods.

 

Thanks Dksea!

I think I have stopped thinking about it so much now but you are definitely right that I need to stop worrying. Unfortunately I have known about the incubation period, surface survival periods etc. of Norovirus since my teens so I cannot undo that but I'll try to dwell less on my worries if I can. I think I need to accept the chance that I might get sick but I'm finding it tricky. 

At the moment I'm upset with my Dad because he's brought a bag of underwear down and stuck it in front of the washing machine so that it's touching washing machine. I have a washing load in there and not only does that mean that I need to wipe down the machine extensively but move the bag, which is wet to get to it. I am very very bothered about other people's underwear as it comes into contact with public toilets (which I don't use). I don't really know what to do about this! 

Edited by BelAnna
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1 hour ago, BelAnna said:

I don't really know what to do about this! 

How do you think a person without OCD would respond in the same situation?

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12 hours ago, BelAnna said:

Hi Lost,

That's amazing! A bit like the moon landing in terms of how significant it is for the rest of your whole life! (sorry- does that make sense? as in 'one small step'). The not changing and showering must take guts too. :)

Thanks BelAnna. :) I hadn't thought of it like that - I'll imagine myself as Neil Armstrong next time. :a1_cheesygrin: (It makes perfect sense btw.)

I hope you're feeling a bit better now.

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22 hours ago, dksea said:

How do you think a person without OCD would respond in the same situation?

 

19 hours ago, PolarBear said:

What you do is nothing. Do nit wipe diwn the machine. Go ahead and move the bag, if needed. Other than that, get on with your day.

Thank you Dksea and Polarbear,

I know that a normal person wouldn't give it a second thought!

It's funny because when I was 19 I had to use a communal laundry unit in my halls of residence every week and now years later I couldn't even contemplate doing that! OCD really stops me from functioning like a normal person and I need to make OCD my enemy, not germs! 

11 hours ago, Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze said:

Thanks BelAnna. :) I hadn't thought of it like that - I'll imagine myself as Neil Armstrong next time. :a1_cheesygrin: (It makes perfect sense btw.)

I hope you're feeling a bit better now.

Thanks Lost! I think you're doing amazingly! 

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14 hours ago, BelAnna said:

OCD really stops me from functioning like a normal person and I need to make OCD my enemy, not germs! 

OCD can absolutely change otherwise ordinary situations into amazingly difficult, anxiety provoking ones, thats for sure.
However I'd like to recommend trying to shift away from thinking along the lines of "OCD really stops me..."
We often personify OCD and treat it like it has a mind of its own, but really it doesn't "want" anything. 
OCD can slow you down, place obstacles in your way, but you are still physically able to do things even when OCD seems to say "no! you can't!".
Instead of OCD "stops" you, try to reframe it as "OCD makes it harder for me to...".  Its less absolute, its not quite as limiting.  

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8 hours ago, dksea said:

OCD can absolutely change otherwise ordinary situations into amazingly difficult, anxiety provoking ones, thats for sure.
However I'd like to recommend trying to shift away from thinking along the lines of "OCD really stops me..."
We often personify OCD and treat it like it has a mind of its own, but really it doesn't "want" anything. 
OCD can slow you down, place obstacles in your way, but you are still physically able to do things even when OCD seems to say "no! you can't!".
Instead of OCD "stops" you, try to reframe it as "OCD makes it harder for me to...".  Its less absolute, its not quite as limiting.  

Thanks Dksea! Yes you're right- it's probably better to reframe it.

I know that some people find it helpful to personify OCD because then you can claim to be 'fighting against' something but maybe it's better to think along the lines of 'this is just fear and cannot physical stop me!'. 

Today's worry so far is that my Dad has just walked along a walk-way near to our house, which is often caked in vomit and then I walked barefoot into the hallway where he had walked his shoes. I am trying to resist engaging in rumination and to resist imagining the worst case scenario (that we will all come down with a sickness bug). I need to live life and I have to choose between life and OCD really. 

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