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Looking for some advice about numbers and 'events'


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Hello everyone

 

My OCD as of right now consists of numbers, intrusive thoughts, compulsions, and 'events'. For example, I would get an intrusive thought, then an urge to do compulsions a certain amount of times. What I mean by 'events' is if for example, I was to go on a plane, then before the plane hits the ground to land, I don't want any negative thought or half completed compulsion in my mind, otherwise I feel the holiday would be ruined, the same as landing on the way back, I fear I won't be able to settle at all at home. This can happen for any sort of event such as going to a funeral, completing a game, just LOADS of stuff. I could go on but it's just too confusing to explain on a forum post.

 

But my other main part of my OCD is numbers... My current bad number is 4, and I like to avoid it as to me it signifies repeating something (long story about buying a game console 3 times). I also have some comfort numbers, but these can change. Basically my mind is just run by numbers and it really drains me sometimes. It's like most things I do I have to do a certain amount of times...

 

So my question is: If I am fearful or think the number four is a bad number, would it be best to actually DO things in 4's? to show myself that actually it's just a number and doesn't have any meaning. I really don't want to keep thinking about numbers in my mind it's just tiring and so draining.

 

In regards to the event OCD I mention, does anyone else have this kind of problem with their OCD at all? It's hard to explain but I just don't like going into things with negative thoughts or compulsions half completed in my mind.

 

I have had CBT so I know techniques but nothing related to numbers or events.

 

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It's all the same. There is no specific CBT for your OCD theme, just like there isn't a specific CBT for contamination or pedophile OCD. There's one therapy that can be applied, no matter the theme.

You have to break your compulsions. Simple as that. You have to do the reverse of what your mind is telling you.

 

Interestingly, you say for events that you don't want to leave a compulsion half done. Well you shouldn't be doing those compulsions in the first place.

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3 minutes ago, PolarBear said:

It's all the same. There is no specific CBT for your OCD theme, just like there isn't a specific CBT for contamination or pedophile OCD. There's one therapy that can be applied, no matter the theme.

You have to break your compulsions. Simple as that. You have to do the reverse of what your mind is telling you.

 

Interestingly, you say for events that you don't want to leave a compulsion half done. Well you shouldn't be doing those compulsions in the first place.

Okay, thank you.

 

Yes, I understand I shouldn't be doing compulsions anyway but in times of high stress such as holidays (yeah, holidays stress me out haha), then sometimes I give in to compulsions because the thoughts intensify a lot. But usually I don't give in and I'm trying to habituate over the long term. It's like my OCD targets things that are happening in the future as it can grab me more than the present. Then I start to worry leading up to the event >.<.

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Everyone has compulsions. Take religious people praying to a picture or symbol before flying or driving.  Or going to church which is big on rituals & numbers. Is your family religious? It’s about how much time is wasted on it  

 

As for numbers, nature doesn’t distribute energy evenly. 

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55 minutes ago, Handy said:

Everyone has compulsions. Take religious people praying to a picture or symbol before flying or driving.  Or going to church which is big on rituals & numbers. Is your family religious? It’s about how much time is wasted on it  

No, everyone does not have compulsions, compulsions are a specific thing, with a specific definition.  What you are describing are habitual behaviors.  Similar? Yes.  The same? No.
 

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2 hours ago, Ashley123 said:

So my question is: If I am fearful or think the number four is a bad number, would it be best to actually DO things in 4's? to show myself that actually it's just a number and doesn't have any meaning. I really don't want to keep thinking about numbers in my mind it's just tiring and so draining.

Yes, this is the best approach to take and part of the process called ERP or Exposure and Response Prevention.  In ERP you intentionally expose yourself to a feared trigger (such as the number 4 in your case) and avoid doing compulsive behaviors in response (including rumination).  The idea is to habituate yourself to the trigger, to teach your mind that its not worth worrying about.  ERP can be done with the help of a therapist but it can also be done on your own (or with the help of a friend or family member).  It is good to do it in a systematic fashion, you start with a small trigger or a small amount of time on the trigger, and gradually build up to bigger/more frequent exposures over time.  If you do not have a therapist you can work with, there are many self help books for OCD that outline the process and help you put together a program.
You can also do exposures in real life If you encounter a scenario unplanned (this is how life usually works after all).  When you see/experience a trigger do your best to not do compulsions.  You will likely feel anxiety and of course want relief, but by avoiding giving in you teach your brain to ignore the trigger, to behave in a more non-OCD fashion.

Unfortunately its a process that takes effort and time, but fortunately its known to work effectively.  Its like training for a marathon.  On the first day you can't possibly run all the way, but on the 300th day?  If you did regular training and kept improving, you will be able to run better than you could before, what was once incredibly difficult (say running 1 km) will seem like nothing, and what was once seemingly impossible (say running the whole marathon) will now be possible.

Recovery from OCD is simple, but not easy or quick.  

 

2 hours ago, Ashley123 said:

In regards to the event OCD I mention, does anyone else have this kind of problem with their OCD at all? It's hard to explain but I just don't like going into things with negative thoughts or compulsions half completed in my mind.

Yes, this is not at all uncommon.  OCD interferes with our ability to feel "right" about certain things (those things differ from person to person).  Normally a person has a thought, the brain evaluates that thought and when it is satisfied with the result it triggers the "all clear" signal and we move on.  If for some reason the "all clear" signal doesn't fire, we become aware of it and have to try and resolve it.

For example, you go to bed at night, and you have the thought "did I turn off the heater in the other room?".  
Perhaps your brain reviews your memory and you recall turning it off "Ah, I did turn it off".  Your brain fires the "All Clear!" and you feel fine and can go to sleep.  
Or perhaps you don't remember, so you get up, and check.  Now you know, the brain triggers the "All Clear!" and you feel fine and can go to sleep.

In a person with OCD that "all clear!" sometimes does not fire.  The exact reasons why aren't 100% clear, but thats not important right now.  What it means is that you are left feeling "not right".  Even if you do behaviors that would normally result in that signal firing, they, for whatever reason, do not.  This feeling of things being "not right" can extend to virtually any situation.  For some people its things being clean.  For others its being sure about a particular outcome.  In your case, its feeling like your thoughts have to be in a specific state in order for you to be able to enjoy things.  It all stems from the same need to feel "right".

Compulsions, meanwhile, are intended to try and get that "all clear" signal to fire, to feel "right".  Even if its not specifically an "all clear" for the thing we are worried about, thats why some compulsions can be unrelated to the particular worry.  Say needing to count things a certain amount of times in order to deal with worries about someone you know coming to harm, etc.

But compulsions don't work.  First, the relief is short lived because OCD is still there.  Second, it tells our brain that whatever we are worried about is important so our brain will focus on it more.  Reducing/stopping compulsions helps us undo that damage, helps unlearn a bad habit.

 

3 hours ago, Ashley123 said:

I have had CBT so I know techniques but nothing related to numbers or events.

CBT is just a methodology, you can apply the same approach to any OCD problem.  You may have to adjust some of the details, but you follow the same general approach.

 

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3 hours ago, Ashley123 said:

Hello everyone

 

My OCD as of right now consists of numbers, intrusive thoughts, compulsions, and 'events'. For example, I would get an intrusive thought, then an urge to do compulsions a certain amount of times. What I mean by 'events' is if for example, I was to go on a plane, then before the plane hits the ground to land, I don't want any negative thought or half completed compulsion in my mind, otherwise I feel the holiday would be ruined, the same as landing on the way back, I fear I won't be able to settle at all at home. This can happen for any sort of event such as going to a funeral, completing a game, just LOADS of stuff. I could go on but it's just too confusing to explain on a forum post.

 

But my other main part of my OCD is numbers... My current bad number is 4, and I like to avoid it as to me it signifies repeating something (long story about buying a game console 3 times). I also have some comfort numbers, but these can change. Basically my mind is just run by numbers and it really drains me sometimes. It's like most things I do I have to do a certain amount of times...

 

So my question is: If I am fearful or think the number four is a bad number, would it be best to actually DO things in 4's? to show myself that actually it's just a number and doesn't have any meaning. I really don't want to keep thinking about numbers in my mind it's just tiring and so draining.

 

In regards to the event OCD I mention, does anyone else have this kind of problem with their OCD at all? It's hard to explain but I just don't like going into things with negative thoughts or compulsions half completed in my mind.

 

I have had CBT so I know techniques but nothing related to numbers or events.

 

OCD works the same basic way whatever the theme or manifestation.

For some themes like harm paedophile sexual preference it targets one or more of our core character values and suggests the opposite to be true. 

You need to learn cognitive behavioural therapy and then use it to change your thinking and behavioural response to the OCD themes you have. 

Magical thinking theme of OCD will take a number, or an event, and suggest a negative outcome. Seeing a number x means y could happen for example. 

For my own sister, the number 11 is bad, but the negative outcome of seeing it is only "feeling uncomfortable". 

The process of applying CBT brings short-term pain, in the form of facing out the anxiety without carrying out compulsions, and deliberately doing the opposite of OCD's "rules", in return for the long-term gain of obsessional thoughts and anxiety fading, and no compulsions. 

It works - it helped change my life, and it will change multitudes of others' lives, if they put in the hard work to make it happen. 

You can't just suddenly recover - it's a slow, gradual gain. 

You won't suddenly stop feeling distressed and anxious. 

You can't take a pill and instantly it will fade away. 

Patience persistence and perseverance are the necessary companions of a sufferer setting out on the rocky road to recovery. 

But oh boy the rarified air at the end of the road tastes sweet. And the mental and physical calm, and casting off of those OCD shackles, is just the bestest thing. 

We can't gain back the parts of life already lost to OCD. But we can gain a truly marvellous, wonderful, present and future. 

 

Edited by taurean
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19
7 hours ago, dksea said:

Yes, this is the best approach to take and part of the process called ERP or Exposure and Response Prevention.  In ERP you intentionally expose yourself to a feared trigger (such as the number 4 in your case) and avoid doing compulsive behaviors in response (including rumination).  The idea is to habituate yourself to the trigger, to teach your mind that its not worth worrying about.  ERP can be done with the help of a therapist but it can also be done on your own (or with the help of a friend or family member).  It is good to do it in a systematic fashion, you start with a small trigger or a small amount of time on the trigger, and gradually build up to bigger/more frequent exposures over time.  If you do not have a therapist you can work with, there are many self help books for OCD that outline the process and help you put together a program.
You can also do exposures in real life If you encounter a scenario unplanned (this is how life usually works after all).  When you see/experience a trigger do your best to not do compulsions.  You will likely feel anxiety and of course want relief, but by avoiding giving in you teach your brain to ignore the trigger, to behave in a more non-OCD fashion.

Unfortunately its a process that takes effort and time, but fortunately its known to work effectively.  Its like training for a marathon.  On the first day you can't possibly run all the way, but on the 300th day?  If you did regular training and kept improving, you will be able to run better than you could before, what was once incredibly difficult (say running 1 km) will seem like nothing, and what was once seemingly impossible (say running the whole marathon) will now be possible.

Recovery from OCD is simple, but not easy or quick.  

 

Yes, this is not at all uncommon.  OCD interferes with our ability to feel "right" about certain things (those things differ from person to person).  Normally a person has a thought, the brain evaluates that thought and when it is satisfied with the result it triggers the "all clear" signal and we move on.  If for some reason the "all clear" signal doesn't fire, we become aware of it and have to try and resolve it.

For example, you go to bed at night, and you have the thought "did I turn off the heater in the other room?".  
Perhaps your brain reviews your memory and you recall turning it off "Ah, I did turn it off".  Your brain fires the "All Clear!" and you feel fine and can go to sleep.  
Or perhaps you don't remember, so you get up, and check.  Now you know, the brain triggers the "All Clear!" and you feel fine and can go to sleep.

In a person with OCD that "all clear!" sometimes does not fire.  The exact reasons why aren't 100% clear, but thats not important right now.  What it means is that you are left feeling "not right".  Even if you do behaviors that would normally result in that signal firing, they, for whatever reason, do not.  This feeling of things being "not right" can extend to virtually any situation.  For some people its things being clean.  For others its being sure about a particular outcome.  In your case, its feeling like your thoughts have to be in a specific state in order for you to be able to enjoy things.  It all stems from the same need to feel "right".

Compulsions, meanwhile, are intended to try and get that "all clear" signal to fire, to feel "right".  Even if its not specifically an "all clear" for the thing we are worried about, thats why some compulsions can be unrelated to the particular worry.  Say needing to count things a certain amount of times in order to deal with worries about someone you know coming to harm, etc.

But compulsions don't work.  First, the relief is short lived because OCD is still there.  Second, it tells our brain that whatever we are worried about is important so our brain will focus on it more.  Reducing/stopping compulsions helps us undo that damage, helps unlearn a bad habit.

 

CBT is just a methodology, you can apply the same approach to any OCD problem.  You may have to adjust some of the details, but you follow the same general approach.

 

Wow, thank you for your detailed reply. It is crazy how your mind can make up so many different bad scenarios in your head and always think of the worst case... Essentially I just have to let go and live my life normally and basically let the OCD just sit on the side trying to attack me. But I won't push it away, I'll just let it sit there. I know my CBT techniques but I guess I am doubting if they work for this type of theme I am having but I seem to doubt a lot of things.

 

Thanks again :) Appreciate it.

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7 hours ago, taurean said:

OCD works the same basic way whatever the theme or manifestation.

For some themes like harm paedophile sexual preference it targets one or more of our core character values and suggests the opposite to be true. 

You need to learn cognitive behavioural therapy and then use it to change your thinking and behavioural response to the OCD themes you have. 

Magical thinking theme of OCD will take a number, or an event, and suggest a negative outcome. Seeing a number x means y could happen for example. 

For my own sister, the number 11 is bad, but the negative outcome of seeing it is only "feeling uncomfortable". 

The process of applying CBT brings short-term pain, in the form of facing out the anxiety without carrying out compulsions, and deliberately doing the opposite of OCD's "rules", in return for the long-term gain of obsessional thoughts and anxiety fading, and no compulsions. 

It works - it helped change my life, and it will change multitudes of others' lives, if they put in the hard work to make it happen. 

You can't just suddenly recover - it's a slow, gradual gain. 

You won't suddenly stop feeling distressed and anxious. 

You can't take a pill and instantly it will fade away. 

Patience persistence and perseverance are the necessary companions of a sufferer setting out on the rocky road to recovery. 

But oh boy the rarified air at the end of the road tastes sweet. And the mental and physical calm, and casting off of those OCD shackles, is just the bestest thing. 

We can't gain back the parts of life already lost to OCD. But we can gain a truly marvellous, wonderful, present and future. 

 

Thank you for your reply :) I have learnt CBT a while back and have notes written done that I can refer to which can help me. I am glad you are feeling better. It can be so scary!

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3 hours ago, taurean said:

Can't see any relevance in this post to the topic, Handy. 

What we are seeking to do is give guidance and help - real, hands-on help - to sufferers who seek it. 

 

Thanks, taurean. It seems my thoughts just keep changing lately. Get a new obsession every day lol, but that could be a good thing, maybe it means I am letting them go easier.

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1 hour ago, dksea said:

I have reported at least one of Handy's posts, maybe if more of us do so the moderators will be more inclined to take a look/act.  Ultimately its up to them but at least we can raise the issue.  Until then I will continue to challenge these unhelpful posts when and where I think it necessary and I imagine others will do the same.  But yes, it would be nice not to have the need to do so.

Have sent in a request re the same. Cheers. 

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Wow, thank you for your detailed reply. It is crazy how your mind can make up so many different bad scenarios in your head and always think of the worst case... Essentially I just have to let go and live my life normally and basically let the OCD just sit on the side trying to attack me. But I won't push it away, I'll just let it sit there. I know my CBT techniques but I guess I am doubting if they work for this type of theme I am having but I seem to doubt a lot of things.

Hi @Ashley123, sorry that your thread has gotten a bit derailed.  Your welcome for any advice that helps you!  Its understandable you have some doubts, after all thats what OCD is all about!  But yes CBT should work for all kinds of intrusive thoughts.  Personally I have found that the 4 Steps approach from Brainlock by Dr. Schwartz worked well for me with my mental compulsions (like ruminating).  Its easy to say "just let the thoughts be, live your normal life" but of course if that was easy we'd all have done it by now.  It's definitely the right approach but don't be too down on yourself if you aren't perfect at it!  OCD recovery is a marathon, not a sprint.

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7
On 24/06/2019 at 02:43, dksea said:

Hi @Ashley123, sorry that your thread has gotten a bit derailed.  Your welcome for any advice that helps you!  Its understandable you have some doubts, after all thats what OCD is all about!  But yes CBT should work for all kinds of intrusive thoughts.  Personally I have found that the 4 Steps approach from Brainlock by Dr. Schwartz worked well for me with my mental compulsions (like ruminating).  Its easy to say "just let the thoughts be, live your normal life" but of course if that was easy we'd all have done it by now.  It's definitely the right approach but don't be too down on yourself if you aren't perfect at it!  OCD recovery is a marathon, not a sprint.

That is okay. It was for the best I guess. I might try Brainlock. The thing is I have had CBT by a therapist already so I could try use them but it was a while ago so I can't remember them very clearly. I did write down notes though. Have you had CBT yourself? Is it wrong to buy that book if I have had CBT?

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On 24/06/2019 at 15:19, Ashley said:

As you will see I have removed a number of posts on this thread to return this thread to his original owner. 

 

 

 

 

Thank you, Ashley. Nice name by the way haha.

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That is okay. It was for the best I guess. I might try Brainlock. The thing is I have had CBT by a therapist already so I could try use them but it was a while ago so I can't remember them very clearly. I did write down notes though. Have you had CBT yourself? Is it wrong to buy that book if I have had CBT?

A lot of people think of CBT as a thing you got to for awhile and then its over, but CBT is really about learning skills and approaches to responding to OCD.  For it to work best its something you apply long term.  If you haven't been in awhile it might be worth it to pick up a self-help CBT workbook to refresh your memory and help you reapply some of the techniques to make further progress.  Additionally picking up a book like BrainLock might be useful if it helps you understand the OCD better and how you need to approach addressing it.  The only thing I would caution against is buying book after book after book about OCD to try and find "the answer", to have that one "ah ha" moment where everything clicks in to place and your problem is solved.  Unfortunately OCD doesn't work that way.  Recovery from OCD requires applying CBT techniques over the long term.  

Its like getting in shape.  A CBT therapist is like a personal trainer.  They can tell you which exercises to do, and help encourage you along the way, but YOU have to do the work, and if you want to keep improving you have to keep doing some amount of work long term.  You can buy books about exercise and learn a little bit to help keep you going, but the more books you buy you won't get in better shape (except maybe from lifting all of them a lot ;) ).

So yeah, definitely pick up a book like BrainLock and maybe a workbook/self-help CBT book.  But really its going to be about applying the skills and knowledge you learn.

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6 hours ago, dksea said:

A lot of people think of CBT as a thing you got to for awhile and then its over, but CBT is really about learning skills and approaches to responding to OCD.  For it to work best its something you apply long term.  If you haven't been in awhile it might be worth it to pick up a self-help CBT workbook to refresh your memory and help you reapply some of the techniques to make further progress.  Additionally picking up a book like BrainLock might be useful if it helps you understand the OCD better and how you need to approach addressing it.  The only thing I would caution against is buying book after book after book about OCD to try and find "the answer", to have that one "ah ha" moment where everything clicks in to place and your problem is solved.  Unfortunately OCD doesn't work that way.  Recovery from OCD requires applying CBT techniques over the long term.  

Its like getting in shape.  A CBT therapist is like a personal trainer.  They can tell you which exercises to do, and help encourage you along the way, but YOU have to do the work, and if you want to keep improving you have to keep doing some amount of work long term.  You can buy books about exercise and learn a little bit to help keep you going, but the more books you buy you won't get in better shape (except maybe from lifting all of them a lot ;) ).

So yeah, definitely pick up a book like BrainLock and maybe a workbook/self-help CBT book.  But really its going to be about applying the skills and knowledge you learn.

Okay, that sounds good! I'm going to pick up Break Free From OCD at my local library today and have a read of that. I heard good and bad things about brainlock saying that the second step of the method taught can be considered reassurance, and OCDUK seems to recommend Break Free From OCD the most. I'll make notes as I read.

 

Thanks :) 

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33 minutes ago, Ashley123 said:

Okay, that sounds good! I'm going to pick up Break Free From OCD at my local library today and have a read of that. I heard good and bad things about brainlock saying that the second step of the method taught can be considered reassurance, and OCDUK seems to recommend Break Free From OCD the most. I'll make notes as I read.

 

Thanks :) 

 

I must admit I have not yet read the 20 year anniversary Brain Lock so I don't know if there's any changes in it, as anybody else read the re-released book?      Break free from OCD is a very good CBT based book, I read it a couple of times, as is the book for professionals by the same authors (CBT for OCD).

I think the thing about books is we will all have our preferences, but I sort of created my own mini library using chunks from various books. I do use the 'refocus with a gold star' from the Brain Lock book alongside the CBT teachings from Break free OCD.  I also like Pulling the Trigger, which although CBT based uses its own terminology which is perhaps more plain English in the language they use.

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Break Free is a very good self-help book, and will help you "map out" how your own OCD works and how to tackle it. 

Plus in the appendix is the template for a relapse recovery blueprint, which is excellent. My own one is saved onto my computer and easily updated. 

 

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2
16 minutes ago, Ashley said:

 

I must admit I have not yet read the 20 year anniversary Brain Lock so I don't know if there's any changes in it, as anybody else read the re-released book?      Break free from OCD is a very good CBT based book, I read it a couple of times, as is the book for professionals by the same authors (CBT for OCD).

I think the thing about books is we will all have our preferences, but I sort of created my own mini library using chunks from various books. I do use the 'refocus with a gold star' from the Brain Lock book alongside the CBT teachings from Break free OCD.  I also like Pulling the Trigger, which although CBT based uses its own terminology which is perhaps more plain English in the language they use.

Good to hear about this book, hopefully I can learn some things. I like that idea, I might make some notes of the top sections I've found in books and maybe sticky note them on my wall as a reminder, not for reassurance. Just things like: Thoughts are thoughts, actions are what matter etc. Maybe that is reassurance in itself though...

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16 minutes ago, taurean said:

Break Free is a very good self-help book, and will help you "map out" how your own OCD works and how to tackle it. 

Plus in the appendix is the template for a relapse recovery blueprint, which is excellent. My own one is saved onto my computer and easily updated. 

 

I pretty much know how my OCD works at this point but it still grabs me which is annoying. But it's nice to know about that template. Will take a look :) 

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15 hours ago, dksea said:

A lot of people think of CBT as a thing you got to for awhile and then its over, but CBT is really about learning skills and approaches to responding to OCD.  For it to work best its something you apply long term.  If you haven't been in awhile it might be worth it to pick up a self-help CBT workbook to refresh your memory and help you reapply some of the techniques to make further progress.  Additionally picking up a book like BrainLock might be useful if it helps you understand the OCD better and how you need to approach addressing it.  The only thing I would caution against is buying book after book after book about OCD to try and find "the answer", to have that one "ah ha" moment where everything clicks in to place and your problem is solved.  Unfortunately OCD doesn't work that way.  Recovery from OCD requires applying CBT techniques over the long term.  

Its like getting in shape.  A CBT therapist is like a personal trainer.  They can tell you which exercises to do, and help encourage you along the way, but YOU have to do the work, and if you want to keep improving you have to keep doing some amount of work long term.  You can buy books about exercise and learn a little bit to help keep you going, but the more books you buy you won't get in better shape (except maybe from lifting all of them a lot ;) ).

So yeah, definitely pick up a book like BrainLock and maybe a workbook/self-help CBT book.  But really its going to be about applying the skills and knowledge you learn.

This. This right here needs to be sent to every sufferer the world over. Totally truthful and great analogy. Well done.

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On 26/06/2019 at 03:35, dksea said:

Its like getting in shape.  A CBT therapist is like a personal trainer.  They can tell you which exercises to do, and help encourage you along the way, but YOU have to do the work, and if you want to keep improving you have to keep doing some amount of work long term.  You can buy books about exercise and learn a little bit to help keep you going, but the more books you buy you won't get in better shape (except maybe from lifting all of them a lot ;) ).

Just to add to this excellent advice, something I raised at the support group last night is this, but also the fact too many people think doing a behavioural exercise in therapy or for homework is success, and they only need to do it once. It is absolutely success, but it becomes a wasted successful achievement if the same exercise is not repeated daily until we are so bored with exercise that boredom is the overwhelming feeling rather than show stopping anxiety.  

I think exercises will sometimes generate anxiety, they do for me, but it's now less than mild anxiety, I feel anxious but not to the point it stops me doing XYZ.  For example, with my toilet fear I still get anxiety using a public toilet, but it lasts all of 60 seconds. I still prefer to wash my hands after using a public loo, but if for whatever reason there is no soap or no sink, it doesn't bother me I just get on with my day and anxiety fades about 5 steps from the bathroom.  I only got there by putting my hand in toilet water, not washing and repeating the exercise daily for 2-3 weeks. 

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On 26/06/2019 at 17:51, Ashley123 said:

Okay, that sounds good! I'm going to pick up Break Free From OCD at my local library today and have a read of that.

Great! I can't remember if thats one I read back in the day or if I've only heard of it, but I do know what I've heard is good!
 

On 26/06/2019 at 17:51, Ashley123 said:

I heard good and bad things about brainlock saying that the second step of the method taught can be considered reassurance

I think a lot of people (well intentioned mind you), misunderstand that problem with reassurance and thus come to conclusions like that.  
Reassurance itself is not a bad thing, any more than food is a bad thing, or washing your hands is a bad thing, etc. 
All of them can be abused/misused in such a way that they become unhealthy and harmful of course, but that doesn't mean they are ALWAYS bad.

Hand washing isn't bad, compulsive hand washing is bad.  If someone is struggling with compulsive hand washing they should definitely do something about it, but they shouldn't stop washing their hands all together, that would be unhealthy in a different way.  So what do you do?  You limit your hand washing to only specific circumstances.  You make sure that when you are washing your hands its for the right reason.  And perhaps, if you can, you try and do it even less than another person might, but still within the realm of healthy necessity.

Same for reassurance.  Reassurance isn't bad, COMPULSIVE reassurance is bad.  Particularly compulsive reassurance that reinforces a bad behavior/reaction.  If reassurance was bad, forums like this shouldn't exist, because helping people get through their struggles is a form of reassurance.  When we tell you to stick with your CBT because it will help you deal with OCD, thats a form of reassurance.  When we tell you that yes its tough, but you can be tougher, thats a form of reassurance.  Reassurance from others and ourselves is important and healthy and good.  The problem is reassurance that feeds the obsession.  Repeatedly asking someone to tell you that, no, you don't have cancer.  No you, aren't a pedophile.  Yes, you did turn off the oven. etc.  Those all feed the obsession, they all say to the brain "this thing you worry about is important".  

Turning reassurance into something to avoid at all costs isn't the answer, we all need to be able to tell ourselves that we can get through this.  It just means you have to think more critically about reassurance, to make sure you aren't overdoing it, and when you do use it you aren't using it in ways that fuels the OCD.

The C in CBT stands for Cognitive, aka thinking.  Part of overcoming OCD is changing the way we respond to intrusive thoughts mentally.  We want to shift away from thinking "OMG this thought is real and a threat!" to "eh that thoughts not important, its no big deal" is to reinforce and remind yourself that to handle a thought as an OCD thought not a real thought.  "Its not me its my OCD" or something similar can be a tool for reframing your thinking, for changing your cognitive response.  Its important that this be combined with changed behavior (such as refocusing away from the thought, or allowing the thought to pass without trying to "solve" it, not just treating it as a magic phrase to make the anxiety go away, but its still a valuable tool to remind yourself to focus on changing your behavior.  For me thats the value of the 4 Steps Method from Brain Lock, helping me stay on track, helping me to divert my thinking from the wrong path back to the right one.  In essence you are replacing a bad habitual behavior with a good one, just as you replace the brains bad response to an OCD thought (anxiety, rumination, etc.) with the right one (boredom, uninterest, etc.).

 

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