Looking For The OCD

[taurean]

One of my new Northampton friends has been conducting a campaign to try and uncover some OCD in my thinking and behaviours. 

There is no mal intent here. She knows I am a sufferer and so is interested and looking for it. 

She hasn't as yet been successful. Why? Because, I am very pleased to say, at the moment there isn't any to find  I keep operating in keeping with my mindfulness-based CBT for OCD, and it's working well. 

But for ongoing sufferers, it's still maybe not so easy to uncover their ongoing OCD. 

Because the illness makes us feel ashamed of our thoughts, reluctant to reveal them to others - and so there can be a "phoney war" of us hiding our real hurts and suffering in silence. 

My own leaning is towards encouraging sufferers to open up about OCD by not initially talking about their own OCD, but rather more the devastation it causes, how many people it affects, and how it goes about its deadly business. 

This tends to really grab people's attention and concern, and open up a pathway for us to then reveal how OCD affects us. 

When we do that, and people begin to understand, we can get real-time, local, help and support - and we are not just reliant on online support. 

 

Edited June 21, 2019 by taurean

[Caramoole]

It's interesting to see how differently we all deal with our OCD and what benefits each of us as individuals.  Never before has there been a time when "Mental Health" has been talked about so openly and that is great........albeit I hope it doesn't become trendy as such.  Real mental health issues (as we know) aren't simply a fashion.

I admire you.  You are from a similar generation to myself where little was spoken of these things and it's great that you are able to share and help raise awareness.  I never have spoken to others about my OCD, largely because in the past, you just didn't.   My Husband knows but not much about how it manifests.  I once spoke sketchily to my Mum about a decade ago.  That's it.  For me that works because it doesn't allow me to allow OCD to have active influences in my day to day life, other than in my head.  It can sometime's be lonely & painful but helps me to live in the moment and move forward.  I'm not suggesting that this is something others should do or that there should ever be any shame attached.  It's been my secret for so long I see no purpose in changing that now after forty-odd years, other than to help raise awareness.  It may seem selfish not to want to do that but I know I can help  raise awareness in other ways, like here on the forum.

We each have to choose what's right for us.  There's no right or wrong way and I'm thankful that people can now talk about this openly.  In the past it wasn't so.

[Guest OCDhavenobrain]

There is much I could say on the matter, however it wouldn't be beneficial to anyone else and I am trying to keep myself short. 

I have never actually had a feeling of shame about my suffering, I have always tried to keep it in secret, it is not cool doing compulsions in social situations, but never been ashamed of the disorder. My thinking goes like this: I am suffering enough, I won't/have no time for thinking about how I should have been. I have had a great deal of anger because of my OCD, being angry and fed up. But of course, OCD takes away time from you like nothing else and that also tend to be a handicap because we don't manage to do what we would like to accomplish. But shame because of the disorder, no! Not sure to what extent this is under our control but try not to be ashamed of OCD, it is bad enough already!!

Try to be angry instead, be angry about the fact that you are being scammed and fooled. 

Edit: I do know that some people with OCD suffer greatly with feelings of shame, guilt, and connected feelings because of their obsessions, guilt shame from the obsessions themselves. It just shows that OCD comes in many forms and that is pretty interesting. 

Edited June 22, 2019 by OCDhavenobrain

[felix4]

3 hours ago, taurean said:

the illness makes us feel ashamed of our thoughts, reluctant to reveal them to others - and so there can be a "phoney war" of us hiding our real hurts and suffering in silence. 

I can understand sufferers being ashamed to reveal the content of their thoughts, but for me, I think the hardest part has been trying not to show the embarrassing external compulsion related actions, which to many a observer must be seen as quite mad, & open to ridicule.

Edited June 22, 2019 by felix4

[taurean]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts everyone. 

It's possible that my friend, no doubt fed a diet of stereotype OCD like contamination and cleanliness and  external compulsions by certain TV programmes, might have been looking for those. 

There would have been avoidance issues to be spotted when my OCD was rife, and chunterings and mutterings. 

Shame - yes I think so, until my therapists put that right. We aren't responsible for being sufferers, or for the manifestations the illness "chooses" for us. 

I think my confidence to talk about the illness openly gradually blossomed, but is definitely geared to confidence with others, as I had an outside role at work for almost all my career. And regularly gave presentations at seminars. 

One wonderful intent at awareness was denied me by unexpected circumstances. 

Arriving early for a lunch appointment in Mayfair (this one a particular rarity as a client was buying ME lunch), and approaching Hyde Park northern end, on an impulse I decided to go to Speaker's Corner and treat the tourists to an impromptu presentation about OCD. 

My disappointment to find that the Corner was closed for major re-landscaping was massive - what fun it would have been - and of course a really unusual take on awareness-spreading. 

That particular opportunity has been lost to me as we have left London and retired up here to Northampton - but I am still comfortable talking about OCD, and people ask me for advice on that and other mental health issues, and I steer them towards getting help. 

And that is a wonderful feeling - that I have helped people to feel comfortable talking to me, when these are things they haven't felt they could discuss with others. Makes me feel proud, but also humble. 

This year the OCD-UK conference is coming to my new hometown of Northampton and I am so much looking forward to meeting people there, plus widening my knowledge from the wonderful programme of learning and sharing that Ashley and team put on at conferences. 

 

Edited June 22, 2019 by taurean

[taurean]

On the subject of Speaker's Corner, I just thought I would look up more about it on Google. 

Much to my chagrin I discovered that the impromptu speaking only takes place, as a specific event, on Sundays. 

So even if the location had actually been open at the time I had wanted to speak, the audience might only have been made up of a few pigeons, a couple of squirrels, two magpies and a wren

 

Edited June 22, 2019 by taurean

[Madchoc]

I hid my contamination OCD, or thought I did from certain people for many years, people thought I was lazy, selfish, stupid. I only opened up to my then husband and my parents. Some people just can’t or won’t understand OCD. It gets a hold on you and it’s horrible how it can affect all aspects of your life. It’s amazing how your brain works, it’s so very complex. I now don’t care who knows about my OCD now, I no longer feel ashamed of it, I just want it to go away FOREVER PLEASE. 

[Angst]

On 22/06/2019 at 00:51, Caramoole said:

It's interesting to see how differently we all deal with our OCD and what benefits each of us as individuals.  Never before has there been a time when "Mental Health" has been talked about so openly and that is great........albeit I hope it doesn't become trendy as such.  Real mental health issues (as we know) aren't simply a fashion.

I admire you.  You are from a similar generation to myself where little was spoken of these things and it's great that you are able to share and help raise awareness.  I never have spoken to others about my OCD, largely because in the past, you just didn't.   My Husband knows but not much about how it manifests.  I once spoke sketchily to my Mum about a decade ago.  That's it.  For me that works because it doesn't allow me to allow OCD to have active influences in my day to day life, other than in my head.  It can sometime's be lonely & painful but helps me to live in the moment and move forward.  I'm not suggesting that this is something others should do or that there should ever be any shame attached.  It's been my secret for so long I see no purpose in changing that now after forty-odd years, other than to help raise awareness.  It may seem selfish not to want to do that but I know I can help  raise awareness in other ways, like here on the forum.

We each have to choose what's right for us.  There's no right or wrong way and I'm thankful that people can now talk about this openly.  In the past it wasn't so.

I think that is relatively safe to talk about OCD and depression in public. But I wonder if the same applies to other mental health diagnoses. By safe I mean without adverse violent consequences. In my part of London it has been the policy to keep houses in which people with a mental health diagnosis secret because of adverse violent reaction. This policy is implemented and endorsed by mental health trusts and local authorities. Sorry to sound negative. I am deliberately not mentioning those diagnoses but can be inferred by sensational  press articles in the tabloid press which have little reference to the vast majority of those defined as mentally ill no matter their diagnosis. I speak as a long term volunteer in the sector.

 

Edited June 23, 2019 by Angst

[Angst]

Just to add I think people should talk about their mental health problems with professionals, trusted friends and charities. They need to. But societal openness to all forms of mental distress has not yet arrived.

[taurean]

It's sad to here what you say Angst. 

It so happens that here we live near a mental hospital, in turn close by the site of a much larger one. 

So our  community tends to be understanding of people with mental problems, and I have met here people who worked there. 

Some of the behaviours of outpatients or former inmates are unusual, such as the woman who will stand still for half an hour in a nearby courtyard. 

But we all show understanding and leave her be.

On my own awareness-spreading programme, I have yet to encounter more than three adverse reactions. 

Two were inexperienced doctors who thought I might be a threat - I explained how my OCD works, thus spreading awareness

One also saw it as dangerous. 

I like to think " it's the way I tell 'em" that has kept that number down 

Seriously, I do think there is something in that. 

I paint a picture that draws sadness pathos and empathy, telling it how it really is for sufferers and all affected by their OCD. 

And explain just how many people are affected. 

[Angst]

Yes. It is the way that you tell your story that counts.

You need to know that are you reporting unusual experiences. You need to make this clear. Also it helps if you are calm.

In a similar way people who report paranormal activity or attend spiritualist meetings where they believe that they have made contact with departed love ones make it clear that they are reporting instances which are unusual.

Now I not saying that I believe in the paranormal. I do not. But many do.

They report them in a way which demonstrates that it is an unusual occurrence. They have the language skills and cultural knowledge  to describe their experiences  to people outside the paranormal community. That way they escape from being deemed deluded. There is socio  linguistic evidence about this.

Yes. It’s the way you tell ‘em

Edited June 25, 2019 by Angst

[taurean]

Three people taking an adverse view prior to explanation is neither a crowd - nor a problem. 

Because their misunderstanding is in fact easy, with a reasonable understanding of OCD, to explain: and this then becomes another gain re awareness-spreading. 

[Angst]

How many psychiatrist have you seen. We need to work out a ratio?

It is good that your community ‘show understanding’ by leaving a woman who happens to stand alone. But why the need to ‘show understanding’. Just leave the woman alone without granting understanding. What possible harm is she doing?

[taurean]

I am not sure where the psychiatrists come in to it, but over the years I have consulted personally with two psychiatrists (as required by my medical insurance provider) overseeing CBT performed by three clinical psychologists, plus I at my own expense, after health insurance funding ran out, consulted with a fourth clinical psychologist. 

In actual fact, what ultimately worked for me was a combination of CBT, The Four Steps, Mindfulness, Love Kindness Meditation and the collective wisdom of the charity OCD-UK and its members. 

[Angst]

Yes. There was confusion over the word doctor. There are still many clinical psychologists who do not have professional doctorates. The former qualification for clinical psychologists was M.Sc. Many still in employment.

  And of course many GPs who have neither research doctorates nor professional doctorates. Same  ambiguity applies to psychiatrists. So if you take the broad definition we have 50 per cent of people with the title doctor misunderstanding your OCD. Then that is a high percentage. Of course I might excluding GPS from the statistical analysis. What figure would you give?

Three people out of over half a million who have IAPT each year in England alone would be an insignificant figure but 50 per cent or perhaps less would be a very significant figure. Plus those not on the IPAT route.  

[taurean]

In the doctors practice I used when we lived in London, two out of the four doctors with whom I had dealings thought I was a risk. 

But they had asked me a specific question as to what form my OCD took, and I said harm thoughts. 

They asked whether it was harm to me or to others, and I honestly said others, and that's when they thought me a risk, showing their ignorance of how that theme of OCD works. I

The two others, the senior partners in the practice, were keen to learn more from me about OCD, which I was able to do. And this would benefit other sufferers who might be patients so very useful awareness. 

[Angst]

Absolutely agree about awareness. And it does in the case of OCD apply to certain themes. I think your campaign is sound. 

[taurean]

Thank you Angst