Today's worry!

[BelAnna]

G'ah even though I should be learning that I panic most days and that nothing comes of it; I'm anxious again. My Dad usually puts gloves on to get the wheelie bins in, but just got them in bare-handed. Our next door neighbour's child was off school ill yesterday and so their bin (which is handled before our bin by the bin collectors) might well be contaminated with Norovirus as if it's in someone's house then it's also likely to be on their bin. I am now scared that we'll come down with it this weekend. 

I cannot seem to learn that 99% of the time nothing bad happens when I'm panicking! It feels horrible to feel so anxious so often! 

What should I do about this? It's really bothering me! 

[Madchoc]

I understand how you are feeling I would be the same, it’s not nice to panic like this, I do feel for you. We always think the worst don’t we? I have just posted my panic on the forum. Keep going and try to not let ocd win.

[BelAnna]

Hi Madchoc,

It does really suck! Thinking of you! Just replied simultaneously (before reading this!) to your thread .

[njb]

In trying to bring some humour to a humourless topic I shout ‘get a room will ya!’

clearly being an ocd sufferer I have to explain so I don’t worry you may take that wrong way but I am saying that you keep bumping into each other

take comfort that we’re all fruity in this together despite varying themes

njb

[Guest OCDhavenobrain]

Do you see how you searching and getting (this last one is not your fault) reassurance have made your mind more alert to threats? 

Edited July 4, 2019 by OCDhavenobrain

[PolarBear]

What you should do this time, like all the other times you've posted, is nothing. And tell your dad to stop wearing gloves when he handles the bins. That's doing a compulsion for you. It's unnecessary.

Edited July 4, 2019 by PolarBear

[BelAnna]

Thanks guys- I just wish that I wasn't on red alert all of the time.

I am failing to generalize from all of the other instances where nothing happened! 

Life cannot just be one instance of panic after another- it's ridiculous! 

Edited July 4, 2019 by BelAnna

[Angst]

The ‘extreme’ form of therapy would be you yourself dealing with the bins without gloves. I realise that this infringes the sexual division of labour. Teresa May and her husband on The One Show described how it was the man’s job to deal with the bins. I disagree for the sake of OCD treatment and sexual equality I think that you should deal with the bins. 

Edited July 4, 2019 by Angst

[paradoxer]

5 hours ago, BelAnna said:

 

Life cannot just be one instance of panic after another- it's ridiculous! 

And there's your motivation. It is absurd. 

[dksea]

9 hours ago, BelAnna said:

Life cannot just be one instance of panic after another- it's ridiculous! 

First, I understand how awful feeling the anxieties of OCD can feel, pretty much all of us here do. In fact, I understand emetophobia extremely well, it was my first and primary OCD fear for about 10 years or so. So I hope you'll take the rest of my comment in that spirit.

Life will continue this way until you make some changes to how you are handling the OCD.  If you want to stop the panic you have to be bold, you have to dig out the roots of it.  And the best, most powerful way to do that is ERP.  If you want to get over this YOU should be the one taking out the bin. YOU should be doing things that push you outside your comfort zone to challenge the fear.

A key part of me overcoming my own level of OCD anxiety about this subject involved challenging my avoidance compulsion and putting myself in situations where I felt uncomfortable.  I'm not talking about going to a hospital ward and hanging out in the room with every norovirus sufferer I could find (that would be odd), but about making myself go places and do things where my OCD said "but what if...".  Mass transit (busses, trains, planes) was a particular challenge for me, but life made it so I had to use them from time to time.  The more I did so the more I improved.  Now I can fly or hop the train with barely a passing thought about my worry.  It didn't happen overnight, it wasn't always fun (it was seldom fun to challenge the OCD, lol) but it worked.  You don't have to make the change over night.  You don't have to stop it all at once.  Make an ERP plan, set up steps so you can make measurable changes over time.  Set goals you can work towards, small ones at first, then bigger ones.

For example, your first challenge could be to touch a bin while wearing gloves.  Thats it.  It only takes a moment, you'll probably feel a lot of anxiety, but you start from there. You do it for awhile until you can touch the bin for longer periods of time.  Next up, moving the bin.  Make it part of your routine that YOU are the one moving the bin.  Wear gloves at first if that helps.  Then, at some point you'll take off the gloves.  It may seem impossible to you right now to imagine doing this.  It seemed impossible to me to ever be able to fly on a long plane flight without feeling extreme anxiety.  Now I take transpacific flights every year, 10 hour flights each way.  My OCD barely registers.  What would have been impossible for me when I was 13 or even 23, is now no big deal at 38 (and hasn't been for awhile, don't worry, it doesn't take 25 years to get here!).

You CAN do this, but you have to start challenging the OCD if you want it to happen, it won't happen for you.   Right now. you are just dealing with the weeds on the surface, and they'll keep coming back, likely stronger than before.  You have to start digging, you have to start getting the weeds out at the roots.  Then you can live free from OCD.